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[Archived] Life under Venky rule


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The five stages of grief can be attributed to Rovers since Venkys. In no way is this belittling any real pain and suffering in the world but the stages, since their development, have come to be used to assess loss of many kinds.

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

I am sure we can all recognise the similarities, if far far far more trivial, to the current situation at Ewood.

Now that we are over 4 years down the line from when the rot truly started to hit hard the membership of BRFCC are still stuck within the above 5 stages. Some members are constantly stuck in one stage where others can migrate from one to another. This is where many disagreements and conflicts can arise.

Which stage are you in? Personally I mostly still live in 2 but sometimes I feel 3 and 4.

I assume that in time most will naturally progress to stage 5. Some are there now but some may take a decade, whilst for some it may take a lot longer.

Disclaimer: And at the end of the day please remember this is just a forum. What is typed cannot ever affect the club in an way shape or form. Better to air your frustrations here than at Ewood on a Saturday.....isn't it?

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I think comparing what's going on at Ewood with terminal illness is just about as low as you can get. Sorry, Shaun, but that is bang out of order and just about sums up the depths that this messageboard has sunk to. If you have had friends and family in that situation you surely wouldn't even try to compare the two things.

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Sheesh. You know what I am getting at. The premise is the same. But being obtuse seems to be the name of the game

I am sure we can all recognise the similarities, if far far far more trivial, to the current situation at Ewood.

And yes I have had a relative who died at a young age through cancer. So I know the stages and how they feel in real life

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wow, very harsh comments from blueboy and parson. I think you both are mischeif making really. You just couldn't wait to jump on that.

Sorry Andy, but no way is what is happening at a football club as important as a family member with a serious illness. Last night, as you pointed out, the loss of a 13 year old lad was marked with respect by both sets of fans before and during the game. There are times when football is simply insignificant in greater scheme of things.

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The five stages of grief can be attributed to Rovers since Venkys

1. Denial

This stage includes feelings of shock, numbness, and disbelief. When loss first comes, most of us have a hard time believing this is really happening.[/size]

2. Anger

Anger can present itself in a variety of waysanger at your club, at others, at God, at the world, at yourself. And anger can be a difficult emotion to cope with. Some will express anger easily and toward anyone or anything, but many of us will suppress the anger instead, keeping it bottled up or even turning it inward, toward ourselves.[/size]

3. Bargaining

With bargaining, theres a sense that we just want life back to the way it used to be. We wish we could go back in time, stop the takeover happening[/size], see something we didnt see. We may also feel guilty, focusing on If only. [/size]

4. Depression

Eventually grief will enter on a deeper level, bringing with it intense feelings of emptiness and sadness. We feel like we dont care about much of anything and wish life would just hurry up and pass on by. [/size]Others around us may try to help get us out of this depression, but its important to know that this isnt a mental illnessits a natural response to loss.[/size] We have to let ourselves feel the pain, loss, grief, and sadness, hard as it may seem[/size]

.

5. Acceptance

The experience of depression is what leads to acceptance. Many people mistakenly believe that acceptance means we are cured or all right with the loss. But this isnt the case at all. The loss will forever be a part of us, though we will feel it more some times than others. Acceptance simply means we are ready to try and move onto accommodate ourselves to this world without the club as we knew it. This process can actually bring us closer to the club as we make sense of how life [/size]was and process how we want life now [/size]to be.

I am sure we can all recognise the similarities, if far far far more trivial, to the current situation at Ewood.

Now that we are over 4 years down the line from when the rot truly started to hit hard the membership of BRFCC are still stuck within the above 5 stages. Some members are constantly stuck in one stage where others can migrate from one to another. This is where many disagreements and conflicts can arise.

Which stage are you in? Personally I mostly still live in 2 but sometimes I feel 3 and 4.

I assume that in time most will naturally progress to stage 5. Some are there now but some may take a decade, whilst for some it may take a lot longer.

Disclaimer: And at the end of the day please remember this is just a forum. What is typed cannot ever affect the club in an way shape or form. Better to air your frustrations here than at Ewood on a Saturday.....isn't it?

You missed out 6. Ignorance. When you turned your back on the team and ground you ignored our problems.

You slag the club off to high hell, but couldn't even be bothered to turn up. We talk about plastics not knowing the pride we feel when success is experienced- well it works both ways Shaun, you lot who've walked away have no understanding of the true wringer the supporters have been through.

So basically, you're just reminding us of the issues we've faces, no new discursive material and a rather disgusting comparison to terminal illness.

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  • Backroom

The five stages of grief are applied to many things beyond terminal illness. That was the basis of the original study but has since been adapted to most situations where a loss or trauma has been experienced - it doesn't just apply to terminal illness or death.

Personally I have been affected by close family members having terminal illness, and wasn't offended in the slightest by this topic.

I'm not sure if I can represent myself in that scale, though. I'm well past stage 1, but seem to cycle between 2 and 4 regularly. I assume I can never have been at 5 or I wouldn't keep going back to 2 and 4 so frequently :)

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Sheesh. You know what I am getting at. The premise is the same. But being obtuse seems to be the name of the game

it is on this MB as you and many others well know. sorry to derail your thread but then you turn every thread into an anti-Bowyer thread as do many others. Doesn't make for a good MB does it?

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it is on this MB as you and many others well know. sorry to derail your thread but then you turn every thread into an anti-Bowyer thread as do many others. Doesn't make for a good MB does it?

I don't see it as an anti-Bowyer post blueboy, and goodness knows Shaun and I disagree on virtually everything. The way it is worded now - and having had time to reflect - I can see where Shaun is coming from and it might actually improve the messageboard if feelings about the owners was shifted into one thread rather than coming out in every other thread. I'm definitely at the stage where I have accepted we are in the position we are in and it's now a case of moving forward and trying to rebuild as best we can. We can't alter the past, we can only live in the present and try to improve the future. Nobody is going to buy us, the owners don't want to sell and even if they did who would buy us with annual losses of 30 odd million? In the circumstances, for me, it's a case of trying to regroup under the present ownership and hope that Bowyer and co. can steer them in the right direction.

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  • Moderation Lead

I wasn't overly offended by it, and as DE said, the 5 stages of grief are used as a metaphor for many things to be fair.

That being said, it doesn't shock me to see YET ANOTHER THREAD descend into a willy-waving contest.

Yawn.

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Yes---while pretending to be morally affronted about it. Sickening.

Well I wasn't expecting to read this sort of thing in the football section this morning :

4. Depression

Eventually grief will enter on a deeper level, bringing with it intense feelings of emptiness and sadness. We feel like we dont care about much of anything and wish life would just hurry up and pass on by. [/size]Others around us may try to help get us out of this depression, but its important to know that this isnt a mental illnessits a natural response to loss.[/size] We have to let ourselves feel the pain, loss, grief, and sadness, hard as it may seem

The original post has now been edited but posting this here was still an error of judgement in my view.

Perhaps I'm being over sensitive because just about to leave for a funeral, but still think there's a time and a place, and this wasn't the place.

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I don't see it as an anti-Bowyer post blueboy, and goodness knows Shaun and I disagree on virtually everything. The way it is worded now - and having had time to reflect - I can see where Shaun is coming from and it might actually improve the messageboard if feelings about the owners was shifted into one thread rather than coming out in every other thread. I'm definitely at the stage where I have accepted we are in the position we are in and it's now a case of moving forward and trying to rebuild as best we can. We can't alter the past, we can only live in the present and try to improve the future. Nobody is going to buy us, the owners don't want to sell and even if they did who would buy us with annual losses of 30 odd million? In the circumstances, for me, it's a case of trying to regroup under the present ownership and hope that Bowyer and co. can steer them in the right direction.

Is this one of them in the know posts, a blueboy fact only post or just your view. I have no idea if anyone would or will buy us, have you?

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Is this one of them in the know posts, a blueboy fact only post or just your view. I have no idea if anyone would or will buy us, have you?

Based on what Ian Battersby said about nobody would touch the club with the present seasonal losses. At one point he was an interested party but now states it's not a viable proposition. Can't be too many billionaires around who want to become millionaires by tossing away a fortune on the Rovers.

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The only way they'll be a sale is if a) we somehow survive administration (pretty unlikely at the minute); b.) Venky's decide to give the game up, and write off £100m+ of losses and sell the club for £1 to someone who is willing to pump money in to get this club back on its feet (this would be probably the first sensible thing thse idiots have done in over 4 years, so I'm putting this down as unlikely) or c) and this isn't really sale, the club gets liquidated because Venky's turn off the tap, someone who wants the club to continue buys the football ground and forms Blackburn Rovers UYVKA* Ltd 2016. Other than that, it's Groundhog Day.

* Up Yours Venkys, Kean and Anderson

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Based on what Ian Battersby said about nobody would touch the club with the present seasonal losses. At one point he was an interested party but now states it's not a viable proposition. Can't be too many billionaires around who want to become millionaires by tossing away a fortune on the Rovers.

Hence there's only one way out

.unfortunately it will be a hard way.. The admin way

As promotion is no longer on the cards

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