The Moorings is situated on Bolton Road about a ten to fifteen minute walk from Ewood Park and has its own car park with room for about 30 cars (or 25 cars and a badly parked police van on matchdays). It has undergone a transformation in recent months from an unpopular, badly decorated pub to one of the most highly acclaimed and successful Italian Restaurants on the car park and back again. The only clues to its former existence are the slight smell of garlic in the John Smiths and the strange accents of the doormen, Toni “Big Nose” Schnozelli and Jimmy “Kneecaps” Patello.

The Moorings is spacious with a large bar and a separate restaurant area overlooking the canal which serves food on matchdays. There is often post-match entertainment from a host of unknown local singers and musicians like Johnny Sax and his Sax – so it’s probably best to go elsewhere after the match (there’s usually a decent punch-up in The Infirmary pub across the road which may be preferable).

Pre-match entertainment includes the popular “Guess the Charity” – which of Blackburn’s well deserving charities will the roly-poly charity lady be supporting this week? Under-nourished donkeys appeal? Schizophrenics of Livesey Branch Road? Royal Society for Prevention of Paddy-field Injuries? If you guess right you have to put a pound in her collection tin. I’ve only won once. Damn that Save Our Souness fund!!

If that still hasn't put you off, you can normally find Scotty and me in there on matchdays reminiscing about the times they used to have TVs and that blonde barmaid .

Directions: Leave the M65 at junction 4 – see the naked bloke on the sandstone block? Is his arse in the air or what?! Take the last exit of the roundabout and turn right at the traffic lights into Bolton Road (A666). Proceed past Ewood Park and get in the rightmost lane at the next set of traffic lights. The road bends round to the right and becomes three lanes as livesey branch road joins (watch out for schizophrenics crossing here) – take the centre lane which becomes the right lane at the next set of lights. Continue along Bolton road under the railway bridge and notice the Royal Infirmary on the right – you might need this if you choose against “Jonny Sax”. The Moorings is on left about 100 yards beyond the next set of lights.