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[Archived] Manchester United Vs Rovers

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They are coming to get you Barbara…

Manchester United, what a team. Does anyone else remember the 90’s? A person seemed to be unable to get any unbiased reporting that did not state that Manchester United was the best, and that Alex Ferguson was basically a deity. It seemed that Sky would drone on and on about Manchester United at nausea. It seemed there was no end in sight. NASA gave up the search for intelligent life in the galaxy, as they believed that when they found it, it would be wearing a Manchester United shirt, belying the fact of its own intelligence.

People seemed to have to take shelter from the self reproducing legions of Man U ( I thought I would use this name at this point, even though I feel it sounds like the beginning of a warning from an irate Jamaican) supporters, screaming and chanting rhetoric with religious fervor. A person could crawl dyeing through the Gobi desert and come upon an oasis, the water seller would be sporting a Man U hat. Andy McNabb, a SAS member caught behind the lines in the first Iraq War, was captured and tortured by Iraqi troops; not only did he have to put up with physical torture, but he had to hear about how great Manchester United was from his jailers.

Like a zombie plague they swarmed our schools, our bars, sometimes our very homes. Like Christians at the scene of a suicide, they pointed with knowing self-righteous fingers at scores, and the results of cup competitions. It seemed to not even take a bite to infect another individual; it seemed to be an airborne virus. Your normal zombie can be disposed of by removal of the brain from the body, or destruction of the brain. A bullet through the head would stop them also, but there are not enough bullets in the world for this zombie plague. Never will I condone, or argue for, the genocide of Manurians; I am simply trying to point out that they were a virulent plague, and there was no Myxomatosis for them. They were unstoppable, they could not be reasoned with, and they were here…

They won the first two years of the Premier League. Then a shining beacon of hope arose from the tattered and bleeding host. A pure white and honest blue halved shirted team, spurred on by a great knight, finally slayed the demon. Alas, like many a great epic, it was short lived. From then on the story has been the same: a team arises, challenges the beast and is then vanquished. They have won the league eleven times, and all of the other teams to win the league combined only total six victories. And so the hordes march on…

Lately our shirts are a bit muddier and our armor is tarnished, but we are still proud. We have given the beast many a good fight and we have been victorious in many a skirmish. Who can forget Flowers diving one way then the other, or Bentleys full debut as a Rover? We have been no push over’s for them, since the 2001 season we have played them 16 times in the league we have won 4, drew 4 and lost 8. This does not look all that good, but when you factor in Home and Away it looks much better. When we are at home we won 3 drew 3 and lost 2. Ewood should certainly not be viewed as a ground that Manchester United can come to with the expectations of easy victory. Sir Alex for all his faults is no fool and he knows this. It is a shame that this preview is not for a home game, but anything to make me feel better.

Let us hope that we can rise up for this game, and under the leadership of Sam Allerdyce, exorcise the Red Devils.

I was able to capture a wild Manchester United fan here in North Carolina –only a net was used, no tranquilizers—and asked him a few questions.

“What do you think of the Manchester United team at the moment?”

--They are the best. Who can argue?

“Well there has been a lot of ins and outs lately, what do you make of it?

--(Manic laughter)

“Some people are saying that Ronaldo’s desertion of the club is the worst thing since –but not equal to—the 1958 tragedy. What are your thoughts on this?”


“The air disaster. The Busby Babes.”

--I don’t know what you mean, but Ronaldo is crap isn’t he?

“Ronaldo is crap?”

--Yeah, he don’t play for Man U no more, does he?

“Well what about Tevez? What do you make of his moving to Manchester City?”


“Manchester City.”


“Your rivals, Manchester City, The Sky Blues.”

--Don’t care ‘bout them. Aint never heard of them.

“Manchester United has always seemed to have an icon player, a player that seems to sum up the intentions of the team for that year, ala Cantona. Due to Rooney being in the team at the same time as Ronaldo, do you think that he can become that icon?”

--Who is Cantona?

“Eric Cantona, The King. The player that some fans called God. The Frenchman.”

--French? Man U has never had a French player. Do the French play football?

I called it a day at this point.

So my prediction is this: a heroic, hard fought defeat. I pray and hope for a victory and wish for a draw. With SAF’s power of the Darkside is there really any hope? The team must obey their master, and the master demands victory.

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Brilliant preview!

I know I have said we will win this one.

Surely to goodness Rovers will come out fighting. The Mancs are not what they were and we have come so close so often at OT that if we can give them a shaking up, we can get the three points.

Philip rolls over sneezing...

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Excellent preview, brightened up my Monday morning.

I think we'll get a battling draw if we can pair Di Santo and Dunn together up front again.

Add Samba to the list to have a hope.

Without him our set pieces become pointless and he can cause all kinds of havoc coming for throw ins, corners and free kicks.

All we need now is to keep both MGP and Emerton the hell away from taking any of these.

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Nice preview, rebel. I still haven't forgiven them for not beating Liverpool. Together with Manchester United, Liverpool are a plague around t'Brook and I come into contact with the cheeky swines far too often. United will be wanting revenge and who better to step in for the challenge than Blackburn Rovers?

Despite this and the pain of Saturday, the first thing I reached for on Sunday morning was my Rovers shirt. I shall wear it with pride as always, and I will be there on Saturday.


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Great preview, love the humour.

5-0 to United, normally I'd be hoping for a draw but given recent performances against the big four I'm going to predict a hammering in the hope its then a draw?? :blink::wacko:

Time to step up to the plate lads where the big four are concerned.

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I'm trying not to think about this one. We'll lose, obviously. I think United will be in a 2-0 lead by half time and the second half will be dull pointless football with them letting us pass it around in our half and scaring our abysmal midfield into either of the following when we cross half way:

(a) hoofing it aimlessly into their area, or

b - giving them the ball back

3-0 to United at full time.

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The games Utd have won at home this season, League & Cup(s)

Man Utd 2 - 1 Bolton

Man Utd 2 - 1 Wolfsburg

Man Utd 1 - 0 Wolverhampton

Man Utd 4 - 3 Man City

Man Utd 2 - 1 Arsenal

Man Utd 1 - 0 Birmingham

They've won every game by a single goal, Scab United at their very best.

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With it being Halloween this week, there can be no excuse for Rovers players not whiting up with red nostrils and green slime on the sleeves prior to going into the tunnel at OT for the Man U game.

That's bound to be worth a one goal start!

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I'm actually of the opinion to start a youthful side v's these guys, including Kalinic and Holly. From the start. And as for getting slaughtered, that argument is dead after the weekend and we don't have the luxury of a competent senior squad anymore.

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Arsenal away we conceded 6.

Chelsea away we conceded 5.

manure away we are bound to roll over and have are arses tickeld by a 4-0 spanking.

Yes, Rovers no longer have to worry about the whingeing whining diving Portuguese scrote, instead we have to be concerned about our old nemesis Scholes, Giggs and the ever productive fat boyshrek (unless Collen sprouts child a fortnight early).

Rovers face a seriously wounded animal on Saturday evening. Their defeat by the scousers will be reverberaing around their heads as RFW slams then for 6 in the build up. Rovers are ripe for a kicking, riddled with Burnley flu (aka swine flu) and their away form is non existant. Rovers boast a midfielder of pure unadulterated skill named Andrews and it will be fascinating once more to see how he copes defensively against Carrick, Scholes, Park and co.

I fully expect the 4-0 whooping anything less and we have got away lightly.

The last poor Saturday evening this year hopefully.

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I know we were tragic on saturday, but i think this week could be a different kettle of fish.

Last year we should've got something from the game and played really well. I've never known us go to OT and just roll over, Stamford Bridge, Emirates yes, but OT never. Hopefully having this game so close to the chelsea game will make the team learn from saturday's mistakes

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I think the game should be postponed due to health issues, and 3 points given to both sides. :-)

However we play we will lose, the only matter being how badly. Hopefully the players will have a bit more desire than shown at Chelsea.

I'll go for an easy 3-0.

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Great preview. Thanks.

Like most others, I can't really see us getting anything out of this.

I've looked forward to the November fixtures and fooled myself that there are 9 points to be had.

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