The link is in this interview with JW from the LET.

We had the 8th highest wage bill last season.

Surely once Ostenstad went that would have reduced it to the 16th highest though...?

The Irish bloke with the wellies.

It would be a stark contrast to Souness.

Imagine if a referreeing decision went against us. Instead of Souey remonstrating, swearing and waving his arms about we'd have "Hey ref! .... C'm 'ere"

What worries me about the whole left sided midfielder problem is that it isn't the first time such a situation has occurred. Last season until Gresko came we played without a proper left back. Granted Bjornebye was injured but it still shouldn't happen.

It's a tad worrying that Souness seems to forget about certain positions for part of a season.

Maybe he gets his Left and Right mixed up...?

Someone comes along with a right-sided midfielder for sale and Souey says "Oooh! I don't think I have one of those, I'll take it!" only to get back to Ewood and find he already has three.

I know this will be unpopular, but in the light of our dearth of left-footed players, why don't we just get Jason Wilcox back for the rest of the season.  He wouldn't cost much and DEFINITELY wouldn't be worse than the rubbish that's played there this season (Thompson, Emerton, Reid)- not that they're necessarily rubbish overall- all of them, just rubbish on the left!

Funnily enough my dad has been saying that all season (about getting Wilcox back).  Still, he's insane and wears clown pants to home games so what does he know!

I thought you wrote that Wilcox wears Clown pants when I first read this .  

Wilcox will be cheap, but I'm not sure he'll be any good. He can't even get into the Leeds team !.

I'm pretty sure Wilcox does wear clown pants to home games which is why doesn't get in the Leeds team!

Wilcox is apparently one of the best players in training but he turns up to the home games with clown pants, red nose and enormous shoes. He used to go the whole hog and have clown hair too but Ivan Campo nicked it.

I know this will be unpopular, but in the light of our dearth of left-footed players, why don't we just get Jason Wilcox back for the rest of the season.  He wouldn't cost much and DEFINITELY wouldn't be worse than the rubbish that's played there this season (Thompson, Emerton, Reid)- not that they're necessarily rubbish overall- all of them, just rubbish on the left!

I'm one of the minority of people (in fact there may only be me) that liked Wilcox. He laid on a lot of goals for Shearer and he was a competent finisher himself.

I'm not sure he's the answer now though. He may not be worse than what we've had on the left this season but I'm not sure he'd be any better either - and he'd have the crowd on his back before he'd kicked a ball.

I normally find the best thing to do if something "feels like a kick in the @#/?" is double-up on the floor howling in pain with a contorted, anguished expression on my face (in fact quite similar to a Yorkie smile).

That soon sorts it out.

The chef was sold to cut the wage bill and replaced with a toaster (interest free purchase from comet - with extended 5-year warranty at £700

Does the warranty cover accidental insertion into Professor Reg Holdsworth's bumhole?

"Could I have my toast back please Professor? It was that naughty Alan Smiff that did it! Squeeze your bum cheeks together and see if you can get a round out."

*Boing*............ "Ah, chocolate spread too!"

Do you ever wish a thought hadn't lodged itself in your brain?!  

Have we wandered off thread?

Yes, yes, but have they found the kitten!?

I'm getting quite concerned - it could be locked in the trophy room or something!

Oh no, just had a terrible thought.

What with the budget cutbacks, the chef's cooking might have suffered.

Leave the kitten alone Mr Chef!

The chef was sold to cut the wage bill and replaced with a toaster (interest free purchase from comet - with extended 5-year warranty at £700). Players are expected to bring their own bread of course.

Alan Smith was no doubt holding the kitten and third Krugeraand twin to ransom to ensure he gets the deferred 30% of his wage back. Sneaky that!

If anyone is to be sold from Leeds, I'd expect it will be Paul Robinson and we don't really need him because all our wheeling and dealing in the transfer market this month has already yielded the following players:-

1. Peter Enckelman - Goalkeeper

.....and the latest from Leeds........players arent prepared to accept a 30% deferred wages cut to save the club the required £5million.

Yes, yes, but have they found the kitten!?

I'm getting quite concerned - it could be locked in the trophy room or something!

Any link to the wage deferral news Alan? The PFA were holding talks with the players last I saw...

Latest news from Leeds is that they've lost the remote control for a JVC Home Cinema surround TV Dolby pro-logic system (installed in the canteen), some Krugeraands and a small kitten.

If anyone has a spare remote could they please send it on.

I think I saw Risdale with a remote control. Is the TV permanently tuned to the Shopping Channel now?

"Garry Flitcroft and 500K for your biscuit tin, that old rumpled suit and the secretary's underwear Professor."

There could also be a case for keeping a vigil underneath their office windows.

Note the BBC report that Leeds' debts are now up at £83m- they have lost another £3m in the last month.

They're so French Connectioned-careless over there, they deserve everything they get.

Prof Reg Holdsworth: "Say Thelma, did you see that 3 million quid I left on the side-board this morning."

Thelma: "Well funny you should say that Reg, because I do remember seeing it this morning, it was sat next to the goldfish. Can you remember where you had it last?"

Prof Reg: "Hmmmm ... I seem to remember having a crap and wiping my butt with a couple of spare fifties, but other than that, I can't think"

Thelma: "You've gone and lost it, haven't you? You French Connection-wit!"

Honestly, it's madness at Elland Road. I dread to think how much of their problem is simply down to mislaying cash.

A simple bit of cash management and it could all have been avoided.

I wonder if they've checked down the back of the sofa? That's the first place I look if I've lost some money.

It's easily done. You put the £3M in your pocket ready to take it to the bank and think "I'll just have a quick coffee before I go out". Plonk yourself down on the sofa with your coffee and... wooop! ...£3M slips out of your pocket straight down the back of the sofa.

If we can't afford to make a bid for Smith or Viduka. I say way make a sneaky loan move for the sofa.

As far as I was aware, the 10 point deduction only applies to clubs in the Nationwide that go into administration - so Leeds would be spared that if they go into administration before they are relegated.

If they manage to sort out the short term to avoid administration and are still relegated, administration would surely follow with a 10 point deduction that could see them drop into the 2nd division. Quite a big risk.

So Scotty's option 2 would seem the only way for them to avoid administration on Monday.

This is a point philipl may be able to help with.

The BBC reported last night that if Leeds go into administration they will not necessarily be freed of the bulk of their debt that results from a form of lease arrangement with two American financial institutions. The report did not go into details but did clearly state the debt to the Americans would still stand AFTER coming out of administration. How can this be possible if administration is to provide protection from creditors? The funds raised from the institutions were used for:

1. Funds released against projected 25 year ticket income

2. Players "leased" to the club. I gather one player was purchased for around £6m but his "mortgage" value is set at £9m - Leeds borrowed this - whatever price the player is sold for the £9m is still owed!

A BBC radio report last night said that the American companies had had the foresight to make the loans "guaranteed" so £60M of the £80M debt would remain even if they went into and subsequently emerged from administration.

To all Aussies:

Green and Gold Malaria

The day would soon arrive when I could not ignore the rash.

I was obviously ill and so I called on Doctor Nash.

This standard consultation would adjudicate my fate.

I walked into his surgery and gave it to him straight:

`Doc, I wonder if you might explain this allergy of mine,

I get these pins and needles running up and down my spine.

From there, across my body, it will suddenly extend -

My neck will feel a shiver and the hairs will stand on end.

And then there is the symptom that only a man can fear -

A choking in the throat, and the crying of a tear.'

Well, the Doctor scratched his melon with a rather worried look.

His furrowed brow suggested that the news to come was crook.

What is it Doc?' I motioned. `Have I got a rare disease?

I'm man enough to cop it sweet, so give it to me, please.'

`I'm not too sure,' he answered, in a puzzled kind of way.

`You've got some kind of fever, but it's hard for me to say.

When is it that you feel this most peculiar condition?'

I thought for just a moment, then I gave him my position:

`I get it when I'm standing in an Anzac Day parade,

And I get it when the anthem of our native land is played,

And I get it when Meninga makes a Kiwi-crunching run,

And when Border grits his teeth to score a really gutsy ton.

I got it back in '91 when Farr-Jones held the Cup,

And I got it when Japan was stormed by Better Loosen Up.

I get it when the Banjo takes me down the Snowy River,

And Matilda sends mew altzing with a billy-boiling shiver.

It hit me hard when Sydney was awarded the Games,

And I get it when I see our farmers fighting for their names.

It flattened me when Bertrand raised the boxing kangaroo,

And when Perkins smashed the record, well, the rashes were true blue.

So tell me, Doc,' Iq uestioned. `Am I really gonna die?'

He broke into a smile before he looked me in the eye.

As he fumbled with his stethoscope and pushed it out of reach,

He wiped away a tear and then he gave me this stirring speech:

`From the beaches here in Queensland to the sweeping shores of Broome,

On the Harbour banks of Sydney where the waratah's in bloom.

From Uluru at sunset to the Mighty Tasman Sea,

In the Adelaide cathedrals, at the roaring MCG.

From the Great Australian Bight up to the Gulf of Carpentaria,

The medical profession call it "green and gold malaria".

But forget about the text books, son, the truth I shouldn't hide.

The rash that you'vec ontracted here is "good old Aussie pride".

I'm afraid that you were born with it and one thing is for sure -

ou'll die with it, young man, because there isn't any cure.

Come on you Wallabies !!!

I prefer "BANG, BANG, BANG, Geddintoum"

Got this by email from an Oz mate. I'm English but saw the funny side..........

"It’s Saturday and a guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm.

The dog is wearing an England rugby jersey and is festooned with England pom-poms.

The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll have to leave."

The guy begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big fans, the TV's broken at home, and this is the only place around where we can see the game."

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game begins with the Poms receiving the kickoff.

England march down field, get stopped at the 22, and kick a penalty goal.

Suddenly, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've seen! What does the dog do if they score a try?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for three years."

Not quite as good as Dave Birch's joke on page 8 I'm afraid.  

were there many ostriches roaming the playing fields of Rugby in 1823?!

imaginative explanation though!

Oh yes. But they are now extinct in Rugby as someone kept nicking the eggs.

 Well the same thing applies with the rugby, Everyone used to play it until someone had the idea to make the ball round and kick it instead of carry it.  

I think you'll find that it was a game of footy and some southern toff picked the ball up in a blatant disregard of the handball rule and ran the full length of the field with it.

It was at Rugby school, thus inventing rugby.

No, no, no. It's from British Bulldogs:-

British Bulldogs is a game where two teams line up facing each other and take turns to crash through the opponent’s line. It was hugely popular in English public schools where smaller boys would be forced to take part against their will allowing the bigger boys to beat them up under the watchful gaze of the schoolmasters.

One such small boy, William Webb Ellis, decided to get his own back one day having found a cluster of ostrich eggs in the playing fields of Rugby school. With the egg tucked firmly under his arm he ran fearlessly at the school bully intending to smash it in his face. Unfortunately Ellis tripped at the vital moment as he TRYed to retrieve the egg from under his arm. He fell to the ground and his teammates tripped over him. The line of bigger boys then piled in, jumping on top, kicking and punching. The egg rolled loose and was picked up by the slowest and weediest of the smaller boys (little Johnny W).

Fearing the big boys would notice and go after him he dropped it and kicked it over the school wall in one swift movement… …and rugby was born

It was the one with fluffy hair, who looked like a doll.

I presume this is the answer to Blueboy's question on page 3 and not to the question "Which was your favourite toy as a child?"

cheer the lads onto victory after we have wiped the floor with the aussies

wishful a little eh?  

Yeah, come on Nelly. Be realistic!

"Cheer the lads on to a valiant score draw after we have wiped the floor with the aussies" you mean.

Australia Rugby League's State of Origin series, involving the QRL team, is one of the most exciting forms of football

IT'S NOT "FOOTBALL" !!!

If it's not a "form of football", what would you say it is then Tris? (too open a question I know. I'm wincing in anticipation)

It's a form of British Bulldogs.