We went to see 2012 recently and although the special effects are very special, the rest of it is absolute bo11ocks. As the credits rolled, Mrs Sidders sighed and said "I'm picking the next one"... which was Paranormal Activity. Having heard a rave review from a younger member of the Sidders clan I was really looking forward to it, but it's no great shakes. Yes, I jumped a couple of times but if you've seen Blair Witch Project, you have a good idea of what to expect. One bloke a few rows back was freaking out a bit though and his very vocal surprises at each thud and bump were very funny. I think the simple minded sod thought it was real. Mrs Sidders claimed not to be scared at all but she was very twitchy in her sleep and last night she woke me up at stupid o'clock with the immortal line "Did you hear that?". She wasn't scared though, oh no. Honest. Girls, eh! Going to see Harry Brown very soon and waiting for Gran Torino from Love Film... but they keep sending it to other buggers first!

Me and Mrs Sidders seem to have been eating out far too much of late and over the last few we months we've been to... Nuraghe's (Italian - used to be Quattro's) at Samlesbury - very good food, good service and pleasant atmosphere. Surprisingly very quiet for a Saturday night. I didn't like it when it was Quattro's as it felt like motorway services. Usha at Burnley - good food, generally good service (they kept us waiting a long time for our main course but gave us free drinks) and not bad at all. Been there many times and never been disappointed. Good value too. Calf's Head at Worston - good pub grub and you get a lot for your buck. Service is a bit sour though. Tampopo at Trafford Centre - really rather good east Asian food with no frills. The Japanese stuff is very fine. Friendly inobtrusive service. Siam Palace (above Judge Walmsley) at Billington - in a word, sh1te. I went for the chef's special and it was flavourless and a stodgy mess. Mrs Sidders enjoyed her sea bass in fancy sauce but I thought it was vile. Decor was very, very shabby (especially the downstairs waiting area) and the menus looked like they had been typed by a chimpanzee. Friendly service though. Shajan on A59 at Clayton le Dale - eaten there many times and it's always been fairly decent but last time was truly dreadful. Excessively loud background music that seemed to consist of a screeching jazz trumpet solo on a permanent loop, dreadful service and really bland food. The service was so bad I'd have to think long and hard about ever going back. La Tasca in Liverpool - you'd be hard pressed to screw up tapas (especially if you do it for a living) but this lot managed it. We went for the chef's special set menu and regretted it. Overpriced, lukewarm food served by crap staff and it wasn't even busy at the time. I've been to the Manchester branch on Deansgate in the past and liked it. Pizza Express in Salford - best place for pizza and good value based on sheer volume of food. Staff generally very good but one waiter came close to a thick ear. Three Fishes at Mitton - I think it's overpriced, better than average pub food. She loves it. It's a pleasant place to go though for no frills eating.

I've not had as much time for reading lately (bloody work!) but I've managed to chalk up Company Of Liars by Karen Maitland in recent weeks. Despite being written by a woman it's actually not a bad yarn. Okay, it's not going to change your life but it'll pass the time on a long journey or provide some easy reading if you get some time to yourself. It's set in England in 1348 during a period of unending rain and growing hysteria over the plague and considering our aquatic summer and the media hysteria over that pig virus it seemed strangely topical. Anyway, it takes a knowing wink at the Canterbury Tales and weaves a new tale of a group of very different strangers who band together out of convenience and growing necessity as they move from town to town trying to staying one step ahead of the plague, but each member of the group has a dark secret to tell. Woooo!!!! I think the characters are well drawn for the most part and the descriptions of the towns and landscapes feel authentic. The plot is packed with twists (some clever, some obvious) and should keep most people entertained.

I've watched the BBC footage of last night's unrest several times and while I agree wholeheartedly with comments made by others about how damaging it is to the game, especially the possible repurcussions for a World Cup bid, and how both clubs are long overdue for serious punishment, a completely different thought entered my head. Watch the prancing West Ham fans on the pitch and have a look at the gestures they make with their arms. They sort of hold them in an arc-shape and make windmilling motions starting in the groin area raisng the hand up and then outward once they reach their faces. Then go onto Youtube and seek out footage of rampaging chimpanzees and you see much the same sort of gesture. Desmond Morris probably had a wet dream over it, assuming he's not dead yet. Seriously, they should be kicked out of the competition and fined very heavily. Millwall are saying their fans didn't go on the pitch but I'm sure the police catalogued enough incidents off the pitch to bring them to book. West Ham fans are a hateful bunch (I was there when we played them near the end of 94-95 season when those lovable Cockney rogues set upon dozens of Rovers fans without any provocation) and I can't think of a club whose fans I despise more. And that includes Burnley. I doubt the Premier League can do much given it was a Carling Cup game but given the FA's impotence when it comes to punishing West Ham I doubt they would anyway.

Trainspotting is a great book but it requires a bit of discipline to get into. SDrummer Boy, have a go with another of Welsh's books and give Filth a whirl. Like Trainspotting it's funny in places, very uncomfortable in others and downright horrifying in the rest. And it has Frank Sidebottom in it!

I've not had much time for reading lately but have recently finished Battle Royale bu Koushun Takami and can recommend it with a couple of caveats. For those unfamiliar with the plot, it's the infamous novel on which the controversial film was based and takes element's of Orwell's 1984, fuses them with some of Golding's Lord Of The Flies and wraps it all up in a gameshow set on an abandoned Japanese island played by teenagers with weapons of varying degrees of deadliness. Some kids get guns, some get pen knives or vials of poison. It sounds mental but I don't want to give too much away, except to say it explores themes of coercion, consent and resistance and with a tagline of "Could you kill your best friend?" you can tell where it's headed. There can be only one winner of "the game" and that person is the last one left alive. What if they all refuse to fight? Then time will run out and the metal collars around their necks will explode. What if they run round the island and never actually bump into each other? The playing area is divided into grids and is reduced in size every six hours until after 3 days and only one grid square remains. If the players go into a forbidden zone, the metal collar explodes. The beginning and ending of the book are sufficiently different to the film and the life story of most of the characters is fleshed out enough to give you a better idea of the dynamics between them. Alas, there is no MTV style demonstration video explaining the rules which, for me, was one of the most jaw-dropping aspects of the film and the controller of the game does not have the lethal charm of the film's Kitano. However, the film has clearly followed the book closely and it is ultra violent throughout, so it's not for the squeamish. The caveats? First up, it was translated from the original Japanese by another Japanese person and so the English is a bit clunky in places. Consequently, "crossbow" gets translated as "bow gun" and instead of just writing "Shuya frowned" in comes out as "Shuya knit his borws". The phrase "knit his/her brows" (which I have very rarely heard in English) appears frequently. A petty gripe, granted, but it does get somewhat irritating. Secondly, for anyone unfamiliar with Japanese names (like me) it can get a bit confusing at times, especially as there are 42 players in the game and the demise of each and the back stories of most are described in detail. There's a handy who's who at the front so I had to make frequent use of it. For example, there are characters called Yoshitoki, Yoji, Yutaka, Yuichiro, Yamamoto, Yukie, Yukiko, Yumiko, Yuko, Yuka and Yoshimi Yahagi!

I first read Quarantine about 10 years ago I'd guess (not long after it came out anyway) and again a few years ago. It's a great book and very different in terms of its story to anything else I've read. The whole idea of Jesus bringing a sick man back from the almost dead is an interesting start but when you add to that the man in question is an absolute monster it makes it even more interesting. Bloody do-gooders! It's a cracking read but the violence in it, although rare, is very graphic and might not be to everyone's taste.

I haven't read Dead Air yet, but I'm dropping heavy hints as we approach Christmas. I've liked most of the Banks books I've read, but it would be hard to top The Crow Road which was the first of his that I read. D'oh! The only one I have really disliked was Song Of Stone which was just grim from beginning to end. Q & A is great fun and I reckon you'll like it. It's a very easy read too and I got through it in three sessions. Don't be put off by the rather grim opening chapter.

Just got back from my hols in that there India (absolutely mad place, but had a great time) and got through a couple of books along the way that I can wholeheartedly recommend. Q & A by Vikas Swarup - basic plot is humble waiter wins a billion rupees (about £12.5m) on a Who Wants To Be a Millionaire type quiz, but being a waiter the quiz producers don't believe he played fairly and they have him arrested as he obviously cheated. The book then details the amazing yarns that pepper his life that led to him knowing the answers. It's often laugh out loud funny, it's often very thought-provoking and simply bloody good fun. A very, easy read that is very cleverly constructed and has some excellent characters in it. This book was recommended to me by my friend who had encouraged me to read that bllody dire A Spot Of Bother so I was somewhat reluctant to give it a go, but I'm so glad I did. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - I saw this in Smiths in town and was intrigued by the cover and bought it because it looked interesting. It then sat on my bookshelf for months before I chucked it into my suitcase at the last minute and what a bloody good decision that was as it's an excellent story. The Book Thief tells the enormously sad but also uplifting tale of Liesel, a ten year old girl growing up in southern Germany just as the war starts. Liesel is sent to live with foster parents and the book tells her remarkable story as she develops curious friendships with a wide array of characters, as well as nicking a few books along the way, hence the title. Oh, and the narrator of this hugely engaging tale is none other than Death himself. Sometimes funny, sometimes utterly heartbreaking but always interesting and highlights the basic decency and courage of ordinary people in the face of genuine evil. Very easy to read and has an old-fashioned storyteller feel about it. Simply beautiful. I'm currently reading The steep approach to Garbadale by Iain Banks and while it's not his best, it's chugging a long nicely and I'm quite enjoying it and I've laughed out loud more than once. That said, it lacks the underlying sense of menace in most of his other books (that I've read) and it does feel a bit like a lightweight version of The Crow Road. In recent months I read Screen Burn by Charlie Brooker - often very funny, sometimes downright irritating. Worth a read though and as it's a collection of articles from his newspaper column you can dip in and out of it. Finally, I also read Wicked beyond belief by Michael Bilton which tells of the bungled police hunt for Peter Sutcliffe. I normally stay well clear of the true crime genre but this was another rcommendation from a friend and while other books concentrate on the killers, this one is squarely told from the side of the police. It's often sympathetic to their predicament but it lands enough punches to stop it from being apologist about the mistakes that were made. If true crime is the thing you're into, I'd recommend it.

I really enjoyed "The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime". I really hated "A spot of bother". All the characters (without exception) were very annoying, the tone for much of it was whingey whiney and it was like the writers of Terry & June had been told to get a bit hard-edged and had watched a few episodes of Holby City and Queer As Folk for research and then got carried away. That said, a middle-aged friend really liked it and was speechless when I said it was rubbish. Each to their own. I'm currently reading "Salmon fishing in the Yemen" by some bloke or other (I really can't be arsed to go upstairs and check) and it's progressing somewhat slowly. It's mildly amusing and I would say I am smiling inside, but satires about the civil service are not exactly my preferred option and I am yet to laugh out loud. Looking forward to finishing it and starting something that wasn't bought for me at Christmas. On the plus side, nobody bought me a bloody Valerio Massimo Manfredi book this year! Result!

Just found out that George MacDonald Fraser, the author of the Flashman books, has died. Very sad news. bbc link

Ah yes, I forgot to mention that: The villain of the piece and the cause of the world's suffering that an American has to put right (Hollywood cliché #1) is a European, ideally an English European (Hollywood cliché #2). Rovermatt - I would argue that I am legend (film) is a rip-off of I am legend (book). At least there were a few real scares in 28 Days Later, especially that bit with the monkeys at the beginning and the first time you see the zombies sprinting after survivor bloke instead of staggering about and groaning as in other zombie films is a refreshing change. It's not a great film, granted, but it's way better than this. The sad fact is I am legend is just another Will Smith film with the usual cringes associated and it's all been done before in other films and with far more menace and purpose. The scene where he "educates" the woman about Bob Marley is truly excrutiating and it's just one cliché after another with lashings of sentimental claptrap thrown on top.

I Am Legend - should be retitled I Am A Crock Of ######. Will Smith plays Will Smith (again) and he's apparently the last man on earth, but this time he's brainy see, so sometimes he wears glasses. All is well and he's getting on with things with his trusty canine pal (Hollywood cliché #4827) but there are some nasty CGI baddies lurking in the shadows. And when I say nasty, I mean poorly done. The CGI lions looked like they were done as an homage to Ray Harryhausen, or whatever his name was, and some less charitable souls than me were sniggering. I half expected Morph or Wallace & Gromit to make an appearance. You can guess the end a mile off and for me the highlight of the evening was the rather fine ice cream I had while watching the seemingly endless stream of trailers. Probably the worst End Of The World film since Kevin Costner's The Postman. And the ending is even worse than The Postman. Yes, that bad. Avoid at all costs.

Just been to watch The Golden Compass and although I enjoyed it, it wasn't as good as I was hoping for. I was impressed by the bears, Scoresby and Lyra, but the menace of the Golden Monkey was wasted, Pantalaimon had a really gay voice and the Gobblers (steady now) just seemed like dorky lab technicians. The concept of the daemons works brilliantly from the beginning and that was my greatest worry as I knew that could be one area where the film would fall down. Visually it's very impressive and the cityscapes and retro technology translates well from the book, but I was left thinking it lacked a certain something. That said, it tees the next film up nicely and hopefully the remaining films will mirror the increasingly dark themes of the books.

Bloody wise words, our kid. Best book ever committed to print. My sis and brother-in-law have also succumbed and have loved it. Debs you must be approaching the reunion with Jemmy - have those tissues ready. Bloody heartbreaking.

Been to Mancunium tonight to watch t'Sex Pistols. Bloody fantastic! I am far too drunk to type much more, but have to say what a good do. There'lll always be an England! Sad to say behaviour of a couple of Rovers fans on way back was regrettable. If you are the lad who got off at Darwen having nursed a bottle of Becks and sipped about 2 mililitres while "bravely" smoking a fag and spouting off about matters you clearly have no understaning of you deserve a fecking good kicking, you fat, spiky haired tosser. And pull your kecks up, your cheap Mtalan undies are showing.

And he did the exceptionally awful Red Sonja what had Sylvester Malone's wife in it. Leave this thread alone and don't monkey about with it or create a new one.

The very same. Bit pricey but bloody fine yarns. I'm always surprised they didn't get more plaudits and wider readership. His puiblisher wants shooting, the bloody fool. Hypo-Luxa - not read Foucault's Pendulum as a friend who is a Eco nut warned me off. Most people struggle with it or so I'm told. I have read The Name Of The Rose which is absolutely bloody fantastic once you get past the first 50 pages or so, and for me it gave me a whole new look at the world. I also read The Island Of The Day Before which veered between being very readable and witty, to being downright weird. I wasn't as keen and was left feeling "Hmm... next!" Just started reading Dark Star by Alan Furst. I don't normally read spy novels but this one has got very good reviews and I picked it up secondhand for a few pennies. So far, so good. I have to say though I think I will be doing a lot more reading from now on as my bloody telly has just bloody blown up! Bloody hell! I've only had the bloody thing for 12 bloody years! Now do I take it to the skip or just leave it outside with a note on saying "Do NOT steal this" and wait for some bloody chav to steal it. Hmm... By the way, don't waste your time with Mark Haddon's Spot of bother. I really liked his Curious incident of the dog in the nighttime but Spot Of Bother should have been called Spot of I think that is more than reasonable. Bloody rubbish.

Hypo-Luxa, have a look back through this thread and read my recommendation of Imperial Governor by George Shipway (similar in style to Alfred Duggan). It gives a fine telling of one of the bloodiest episodes in the history of Britain (if not THE bloodiest) from the point of view of the Romans. I absolutely loved that book and so did everyone I know who read it, although Blue Phil wasn't as taken with it as I was. Incidentally, Shipway wrote a lot of other books and careful trawling of Ebay sometimes brings them up and most are historical in their theme. Giving the (highly fictionalised) flip side of the same story as Imperial Governor is the Boudicca series by Manda Scott although I haven't read them, but the reviews are good. From the same period and lower down the evolutionary scale is the Eagle series by Simon Scarrow - good yarns but not in Duggan's league. Scarrow has also added a series written about the Napoleonic wars, although I've never read them. A truly great Roman novel partly set in Britain (though mostly in Germany) is the epic Eagle In The Snow by Wallace Breem. The Last Sodding Legion by VM Manfredi (recently made into a film) is partly set in Britain but it is unadulterrated ###### from beginning to end with the most rubbish villain in literary history who is even more incompetent than that coyote who is always trying to catch Roadrunner. Don't waste your time with it. Bernard Cornwell is enormously popular and has sold millions of books through his Sharpe series (mainly Napoleonic wars) and his Grail Quest (100 Years War). I've not read the Sharpe books, but I've read the three Grail books and they're entertaining in an endearingly old-fashioned no-brainer type way. He's also written stuff about the Saxon period (my brother really like them) and the absolutely attrocious Stonehenge - avoid at all costs! Better books (though hard to track down) about the 100 Years War are the two Kemp books by Daniel Hall. Absolutely superb and I think it's criminal they're out of print. The whole period from late 9th century to the 1600s is now subject to many novels of varying quality so choose carefully. For mighty fine yarns of derring-do on the high seas requiring a few more brain cells than most you could try the Aubrey-Maturin series by Patrick O'Brian (the film Master & Commander: Far Side Of The World was based on some of them) which I think are the best of their type. Most of the action involves lucky Jack Aubrey giving Johnny Frog a bloody nose, but in a couple he kicks Uncle Sam's backside! Huzzah! Requiring less thought are the Hornblower books by CS Forrester and the Ramage series by Dudley Pope. For a really epic literary voyage though you should have a pop at the sublime This Thing Of Darkness by Harry Thompson - no battles, but an amazing true story. For a very different reading experience I would recommend the very funny but historically super accurate Flashman books by George MacDonald Fraser. They tell the tale of the disgraceful rogue Harry Flashman and his misadventures in Britain's foreign wars of the 19th century. Be warned though, they're very addictive. Colin, Umberto Eco's "Baudolino" is partly about Prester John's kingdom, so you might want to give it a go. I've not read it although it has been sat on the Pending Shelf for some time now, but if it's half as good as Name Of The Rose it's got to be a winner.

Amen to that, brother. GOF should be required reading for all European citizens and a moral requirement for all heterosexual men. Bloody fantastic stuff.

Ah but it's all in the story Phil. He didn't live a long life and die a natural death because he did well, it happened because Augustus didn't see him as a threat at all and so let him live even though he had every reason to kill him. It seems that Augustus thought that it would be unseemly to have the Pontifex Maximus bumped off and so allowed MAL to live in powerless obscurity. Anyway, it's an entertaining yarn and worth a read. MAL made an artform of snatching crushing defeat from the tight jaws of certain victory and his blundering and dizzying downfall as told by Alfred Duggan is far funnier than as portrayed in HBO's Rome.

Another convert! I really, really liked Conscience Of The King. It's set in the early Saxon period and tells the vicous and entertaining tale of Cerdic Elessing - semi-legendary first king of Wessex and alleged ancestor to most English monarchs, including the current one. The most malacious machiavellian anti-hero character I've ever read and manages to be both repellant and seducing at the same time. Very reminiscent of George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman and seems to make virtues of patricide, fratricide and infanticide. Think of Joseph Stalin but without the morals and you've a good idea of what to expect. Ideal reading for anyone running their own firm, with aspirations of moving up in the world and wanting to get rid of a troiblesome spouse. Sample line "I did not seek a wide kingdom, just an absolute one". And there's even a bit of King Arthur thrown in for good measure. I also liked Three's Company but it's much slower to start off with. It tells the tale of Marcus Aemilius Lepidus, the least known and least able of the second triumvirate alongside Octavian (later Augustus) and Mark Antony. It's the classic tale of the incompetent buffoon promoted beyond all measure of ability and unable to learn from his mistakes. Laugh out loud funny but strangely moving. Of the three I have read so far, I have to say The Little Emperors was the least approachable and not as good as the others as it takes a long time to get going. I haven't read Knight In Armour but I'll tag it onto my next Amazon order.

Get stuck in, it's a great read. My sister is now reading my copy and she's enjoying it and it isn't the sort of book she'd usually go for. Good to see you back again, Rosie. I'm currently reading "A spot of bother" by Mark Haddon who many will remember for "The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime". Got to say it hasn't grabbed me yet but I remain hopeful.

You're a hard man to please and of all the people who has read it at my suggestion, you're the first not to be anything other than heartily impressed. I think the whole point of Suetonius Paulinus being so unlikeable is deliberate on behalf of the author. He's a cold bugger and he's on "their" side against "our" side, but I still found myself wanting the Romans to win. That Boudica seemed like a right bitch. Colin - glad you liked it. Makes you wonder what else Harry Thompson could have done if he'd had more time on earth. As for my recent reads... Started reading Interview with the vampire by Anne Rice at my 20 year old niece's great insistence. Got 50 odd pages in before it was hurled across the room on the grounds that it was completely sh1te. It's now in a box awaiting sale on Ebay. Read The people's act of love by James Meek as it sounded good - Siberian town during Russian civil war under martial law and cannibal on the loose getting rid of the locals while the Bolshevik army closes in on the town. Excessively wordy (great if you want a two paragraph description of a table lamp) and completely lacking in pace, suspense or anything remotely creepy. Astonishingly boring. Don't bother. Viking - Vols 1 & 2 by Tim Severin. Well researched, pleasantly readable, not too much religious mumbo-jumbo but nearly enough raping, stealing and pillaging. In fact, there's no rape or pillage. A few florid characters helped it along though. Not great literature but similar in mood and style to Simon Scarrow's Eagle books. Just started reading The Little Emperors by the fantastic Alfred Duggan (have a look at his entertaining biog on Wikipedia) and I have to say it's not as good as the others of his that I have read. Early days yet though and the reviews on Amazon are encouraging.

Finished reading Cloud of Sparrows by Takashi Matsuoka last night and it was bloody great. Other reviews have compared it favourably to James Clavell's Shogun but I can't say as I have never read the latter. Anyway, without giving any of the plot away - samurais, ninjas, geishas, gunslingers, rebels, traitors, battles, murder, assassination, prophecies, palaces and whorehouses. Oh and... er... a lot of tea. Very entertaining and very easy to get into so ideal holiday fodder. The violence is somewhat graphic, including a fair bit against women and children, so maybe not recommended for the particularly squeamish.