My wife and I went to one of the Tapas bars on Deansgate on Saturday night, La Vina ? the one on the corner just down from Waterstones. Very average tapas, I've had better for free in rural Spain.

Not really surprising that when you think about it is it Tyrone?

Does Sir Geoffrey write his material do you think? KP.... "there's more brains in a pork pie"

"I feel that now is the right time to step down."

Really? For whom?

Clearly he doesn't care about the prospect of a whitewash. Maybe they've already forfeited.

Unless he's been asked to quit then that's pretty gutless not to stay and fight until the end of the series.

It really is like we just had no intention to compete in this series whatsoever. I feel a bit sorry for our Australian cousins. It's been a pretty hollow victory for them, with both sets of fans being short-changed.

Seems out of character. Maybe he's been dropped and has decided to come home for Christmas. Maybe his missus is 'bothering'. Maybe a parent / child is poorly, maybe too much cricket without a decent break. Maybe a dozen reasons.

Best to wait and see.

Oh, and people who dare to have a go at Dave Birch is laughable.. This country "Australia" is being built on people like Dave......

......If you've never been here, worked here and travelled the country don't even try to understand!!

DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA . . .

August 31

— Just got transferred with work from Blackburn UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia

Now this is a town that knows how to live!

Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.

I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.

It was beautiful.

I've finally found my new home.

I love it here.

September 13

— Really heating up now.

It got to 31 today.

No problem though.

Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.

What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.

I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Blackburn !!

September 30

— Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.

Lots of palms and rocks.

No more mowing lawns for me!

Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

It's Paradise !

October 10

— The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.

How do people get used to this kind of heat?

At least today it's windy though.

Keeps the flies off a bit.

Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.

October 15

— Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.

Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.

Missed three days off work.

What a dumb thing to do..

Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

October 20

— Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.

By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.

The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat @#/?.

I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25

— This wind is a @#/?.

It feels like a giant @#/? blow dryer.

And it's hot as hell!

The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from @#/? Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining.

October 30

— The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the @#/? air conditioner.

House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.

Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.

Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4

— Finally got the @#/? air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.

Stupid repairman.

@#/? thief.

November 8

— If one more smart @#/? says 'Hot enough for you today?'

I'm going to @#/? throttle him.

@#/? heat!

By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my @#/? clothes are soaking @#/? wet and I smell like baked cat.

@#/? place is the end of the Earth.

November 9

— Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.

I thought my @#/? arse was on fire.

I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my @#/? arse.

Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.

@#/?. @#/?. @#/?.

November 10

— The Weather report might as well be a @#/? recording..

Hot and sunny.

Hot and sunny, Hot and @#/? sunny.

It never @#/? changes!

It's been too hot to do anything for 2 @#/? months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

@#/?!

November 15

— Doesn't it ever rain in this damn @#/? place?

Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the @#/? pool.

The only things that thrive in this @#/? hell-hole are the @#/? flies.

You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little @#/?s!

November 20

— Welcome to HELL!

It got to 45 @#/?' degrees today.

Now the air conditioner gone in my car.

The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'

I wanted to shove the @#/? car up his @#/? arse.

Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.

@#/? Karratha!

What kind of sick, demented @#/? idiot would want to live here!

December 1

— WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!

You are @#/? kidding me!

Oh, and people who dare to have a go at Dave Birch is laughable.. This country "Australia" is being built on people like Dave.

I sure all the people making the sly remarks have never visited these shores.. To know how welcome you are made and given a fair go, no matter who you are!! Is what makes this country so great.

This argument has been going on since the first ashes and plenty of English have moved over since.. Though wether winning or losing for some strange reason those kids who could go either way, 99% they want to play for Australia..

If you've never been here, worked here and travelled the country don't even try to understand!!

Hey up! A whingeing aussie.

Been thinking about this. We make our own beef burgers. 750gm minced beef, onions, bread crumbs, seasoning, egg. Mix together and you have 8-10 burgers very quickly. We tend to jazz them up a bit but that's the basics. I haven't tried but I reckon it could be bulked out further.

The beef is the main cost at £4, which puts the burgers at around 40p each.

Tesco value burgers are £1 for 8, 12.5p each. How do we expect low income families to make the correct choices? Cheap filling food or nutritious home made food at three times the price?

I could make 750g of mince go much further though.

Thenodrog I heard a news item which stated horse meat sells at £600/ton and beef £3000/ton. The beef price seems broadly consistent with your figures. Have I read them correctly? Are these prices for what one would consider quality meat - not mechanically rescued scrapings etc?k

I was thinking about this in relation to Tesco and McDonalds. At £3000/ton a "quarter pounder" has a beef cost of 33p with McD selling at £1.99 - £2.69. I'm not sure if that's good or bad news but it possibly suggests the meat quality is better than I imagined.

Tesco say there value burgers are 100% British beef. How then does Romania get involved MF Tesco?

http://www.mysupermarket.co.uk/tesco-price-comparison/Frozen_Meat/Tesco_Everyday_Value_Beef_Burgers_8_per_pack_397g.html

This report from the FG goes far toward backing your figures and suspicions up Paul. Beats me why the supermarkets and retailers who fraudulently peddled this condemned horse meat haven't been up before the beak. We all know that the likes of Tesco, Asda and Sainsbury's purchase absolute power with political donations so I guess it's just a case of money talking?

Quote from the FG...........

"A RETAILER asked a supplier to produce a 4oz ‘gourmet’ burger for a unit price of under 30p, according to an interim report on Britain’s food system in the wake of the horsemeat scandal.

The report by Professor Chris Elliott, of Queen’s University Belfast, suggests retailers should be made accountable for the financial demands they impose on their suppliers.

The report makes a number of recommendations for the authorities and food industry to address the problem of ‘food crime’, including the establishment of a ‘Food Crime Unit’ within the Food Standards Agency (FSA), a change of governance to make the FSA a ‘more robust organisation’ and, above all, an emphasis on putting consumers first.

The horsemeat scandal broke in January when a Tesco burger was discovered to contain 29 per cent horse DNA at the start of this year. After an initial focus on Tesco and ABP, the company that supplied the burger, the scandal rapidly mushroomed as horsemeat contamination was found across a range of products supplied by a number of well known companies across many countries involving co-ordinated criminal activity.

Prof Elliott’s report, commissioned by Defra and the Department of Health earlier this year, stresses that food crime is a global problem and that the scope and extent of the problem in the UK is not known due to limited intelligence.

The food industry’s own testing for horse DNA earlier this year identified contamination in 1 per cent of UK samples and over 4 per cent in Europe.

But the report sheds light on some of the ‘murkier practices that go on often unnoticed within food supply chains’ that appear to lie behind the large-scale international fraudulent substitution of horsemeat for other meats.

For example, Prof Elliott reveals how one meat supplier told him in confidence of a meeting with a retailer in which the supplier were asked to produce a 4oz ‘gourmet’ burger for a unit price of under 30p.

The supplier believed that by using the cheapest beef available priced - at 264p/kg from older cows rather than prime beef - and factoring in other fixed costs, the lowest possible unit price for the burger would be 59p.

To produce a 4oz ‘gourmet’ burger at a cost price of less than 30p, the supplier calculated that the average price of beef would need to be just 85p/kg.

Prof Elliott concluded that one way to meet the demands of the retailer would be to switch to beef supplied from premises that were not EU approved at approximately 140p/kg. In addition, use of offal, such as heart at between 70-110p/kg, and mechanically separated meat (MSM) at around 120p/kg would further drive down the unit cost.

Accountable Prof Elliott suggests retailers should be held accountable when they make such demands. His report says: “If a retailer were to secure a foodstuff for a price well below the recognised market price, then it might be inferred that the most obvious way the supply was meeting that price was by committing the offence of fraud by misrepresentation.

“In such a case I suggest that it is for the retailer to be able to produce evidence that they checked that there were no grounds for suspicion of the product being counterfeit or adulterated, because in such a case the counterfeited or adulterated goods would amount to criminal property.”

He said any party that can be shown to have profited from criminal property ‘while knowing or even suspecting that it was such’, would be culpable under the Proceeds of Crime Act 20023, which covers the transfer, acquisition and possession (also known as ‘laundering’) of criminal property.

But in the report’s preface, Prof Elliott says a ‘significant change in culture’ is needed to deal with the threats of fraudulent activity that exist along complex supply chains. “My review to date has identified a worrying lack of knowledge regarding the extent to which we are dealing with criminals infiltrating the food industry. I believe criminal networks have begun to see the potential for huge profits and low risks in this area.”

“The food industry and thus consumers are currently vulnerable. We need a culture within businesses involved in supplying food that focuses on depriving those who seek to deceive consumers.”

“A food supply system which is much more difficult for criminals to operate in is urgently required. Government, and in particular a more robust Food Standards Agency has a major role to play partnering these efforts.”

Defra Secretary Owen Paterson said: “The UK food industry already has robust procedures to ensure they deliver high quality food to consumers and food businesses have a legal duty to uphold the integrity of food they sell. It is rightly highly regarded across the world and we must not let anything undermine this or the confidence of consumers in the integrity of their food.

“We will continue to work closely with the food industry, enforcement agencies and across local and central Government to improve intelligence on food fraud and our response to it"

No he isn't. In fact you're contradicting yourself from your previous post.

Obviously you've never quite got the hand of sarcasm have you?

Blue n white

He really doesn't like the English does he?

btw.... Just as a matter of interest which Madrassa did he go to?

It's about knowing your roots and your heritage and where you come from, and the betrayal of that identity. As I've said before I know Aussies over here who because they have lived in this country for many years support England in all sports except when England are playing Australia - which is the way it should be.

Don't be so bloody grumpy Jim. I bet you know quite a few 'Blackburners' who supported BRFC as kids in the 60's but switched their undying allegiance to MU or Liverpool later in life. Well Dave's only the same as them isn't he.

Stokes gone for 120 clapped of by the Australian players , good to see that , particularly with England's lack of sportsmanship.

Hey! Thats the first time that anybody has seen the words 'Australian' and 'sportsmanship' in the same sentence since WG Grace first picked up a bat.

Guess who tweeted .. Now go 5-0 kean useless inbred t@@ts

###########%#%%#%%

Who?

Tell me what you really think, Kamy.

Where have I taken "such pleasure when England does badly"?

That I have been in Australia for the best part of my life, that my kids were born here, that an upcoming grand child is about to be born here (and that my daughter chose to have her child born here whilst living overseas).

Don't you dare tell me that I haven't an affinity with this country. I've probably spent more of my life in Australia than you have in England.

This is my home, just as (most probably) your parents made England their home.

You should look closer to home, Kamy.

Just check out the crowds when India or Pakistan play in England, see where a good size of the crowd lend their support.

How long do you think tyhe likes of Geoffrey Boycott and Ian Botham would have to live in Australia before they became a turncoat like you Dave? In fact apply the reverse criteria to Shane Warne I think hell would freeze over first!

Nothing like biting the hand that fed you eh?

Yes, I think Cook is the wrong guy to have as captain, but who do you put in his place?

Prior?

Suarez!

I also fear for what is to come after this series, no doubt a plague of locusts, rivers to run red with the blood of children and a pox on all our families.....

Bloody hell, you guys have nothing to come back with because your team is being dominated and you resort to piffle about the state of the game, gutter antics, sledging going over the line.....absolute tosh.

Such poor losers and good too see the arrogance of uncultured convict talk and whinging return from the English, three years of success had dampened your pessimism, so glad to see it back.

Lighten up neekoy. Here I'm sure this selection of male aussie humour which just landed in my inbox will cheer you up..........

A guy gets a call from the police telling him his house was robbed. The offender had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can't believe they keaned my wife after only five cans!”

____________________________________________________

"My missus kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”

____________________________________________________

I was sh***ing this Sheila over her Kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!” Thinking back, I really should have legged it – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

____________________________________________________

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching this bloke at a party.

In my defense ...When you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.

____________________________________________________

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night I sh**ged a Sheila called Penny – spooky or what?

____________________________________________________

The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”

Apparently “Only to stop myself coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.

____________________________________________________

My wife is keaned off with me again.

I crept into the bedroom last night and swapped her tampon for a party popper. She has no sense of humour.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

10 Catholic Priests were killed in a road accident.

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says. If any of you are Paedophiles, you can Kean off down to HELL

Nine of them start to walk away when St Peter calls out.

“And take this deaf kean with you”.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wife said to me last night. “If you turn the bedside lamp off I'll take it up the arse”.

Maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

My mate reckons he always cries after sex. Mind you.... He is in Prison.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wife came out of the bathroom and said: “I have just shaved my puss and you know what that means don't you”?

I said. “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again”!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nearly sh**ged a Ladyboy last night. I Picked him up in a night club. He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman.

But as we arrived back at his apartment, he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement.

That's when I thought. “Hang about” !

*************************

Correct Bryan.... Sir Geoffrey reckons this Aussie team aren't really all that good.

.

Sorry Don, Can't agree with that at all.

Warner wears his heart on his sleeve. He's the sort of "what you see is what you get" player.

Who could blame him for giving Prior a serve after the display that Prior gave (I'd sack Prior after his display today).

The "ugly" Australian approach has been as "ugly" as some of the recent England wins over the past few test series.

Swings and roundabouts Don, swings and roundabouts.

Germany Stralia calling....... Germany Stralia calling.....

If you are eating with your mates then Duk and/or Pond would be Ok I think. Tapas style.

Veet hair remover.... reviews!


http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

I stand corrected then!

As for Gower's comments then they are inaccurate as well as a bit daft. Clearly, a young country like Australia can't match Europe for culture but if he were to sample the laneways of Melbourne he would see that the cafe culture and galleries there match anything in the UK outside of London.

Australia and it's indigenous inhabitants are an ancient country and civilisation which remained unspoiled and uncorrupted for 500 centuries. White settlers have been there for 3 of them.

I've never been to Australia but I do get the feeling that the newbies completely disregard the aborigines and their history and consider them as fitting in somewhere between a kangaroo and a dingo in the native fauna.

The epithet 'convict' doesn't apply to the freely settled colony of South Australia

They will be breeding with them chris. Mark my words that extra Y chromosome will be increasing every generation.

Hope she's OK Rog.

btw Wasn't just a ruse to avoid paying her share of the bill was it? Only asking cos I've considered that option on any number of occasions recently at the Millstones. The Millstone has set the standard around here for a number of years but these days it aint cheap. Through no fault of my own I'm down for the New Years Eve event... at a mind blowing £75 quid a head it's ....

a. ferkin ludicrous.

b. Taking the proverbial and imo an insult to regular customers who dine throughout the year.

c. damned poor value for money. I offered the option to stay in NY Eve and go 3 nights running to the Millstone anytime after Jan the 2nd but er indoors would not hear of it.

Needless to say she is paying!

301-9 now

Good job it was free for folk today as they are going home soon

Those aussies are going to get their wings clipped soon! It's absolutely inevitable. 3 and 4 day test matches must be losing / costing the cricketing authorities / sponsors / advertisers etc etc a bloody fortune! It can't go on. Money rules sport. Cue some rather laid back bowling and a few dollied catches toward our lot for the rest of the series.

Abbey, I've lived here for more than 2/3rds of my life, my kids are Australian.

I wanted to integrate like you want many immigrants to integrate into British society.

I haven't forgotten my heritage (as some would want you believe), but this is now my home.

I ask you, how would England be, if all those immigrants had blended into the society the way the English wanted them to.

Would you feel easier, would the nation feel easier?

There comes a time where something like this has to be done. With me, it was shortly after the birth of my daughter in 1981 when, as it happens, Australia was in the pits (ashes speaking).

This country has been incredibly kind to me. I'm paying it back (taxes notwithstanding and I do pay a lot)

I shall refrain from mentioning William Joyce at this point BUT as somebody suggested previously if you had stayed in Blighty and moved to Cliviger, Barrowford or Harle Syke would you have become a Burnley fan? How about Keighley or Hebden Bridge would you have come to support Yorkshire CCC perhaps?

As Norman Tebbitt once opined which JIM mk2 cannot help but endorse fully ... 'which cricket team do you support'?

Win or lose England supporters are always around. When it's going badly the other side disappear into the undergrowth bush.

is that better?

Wazzing it down out there we may fluke a draw and turn the series around

They may be kicking themselves about not enforcing the follow on

Rearrange this well known phrase Tom

Straws.... grasping..... at

Close was a proper hardcase

That Yorkshire dressing room with Close, Illingworth, Trueman and Boycott must have been something else. No place for any fancy dans and wimps I'd suggest...... and most definietly no place for any black or brown players either. Maybe Clive Lloyds treatment of Close was down to racism by both sides.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/tms

Ouch! No finer sight that Sir Geoffrey on one!

I'm not sure you're right Theno.

Some of the games (both cricket and football) that I've enjoyed have between nations that I've no particular favour for. The Bundeslige teams , when they are on the tv are usually a must for me. Love the way they play the game.

I know where you are coming from but imo it's like food without seasoning dave.

No one particularly I just watch it for enjoyment, just like I do international football.

I don't believe that. It's just not natural. Either you have no affinity with team sports or you are of a minor nationality that doesn't figure prominently at either.

Only saying cos 'Goughie' reckoned it was on Talk Sport a couple of days ago.