[Archived] Funny football stories

[Dreyski]

Not especially on-pitch things, more like:

Jason McAteer applied for a credit card and when asked what position he held within the company he wrote "I'm a central midfielder but the boss is playing me at right wing back"

McAteer was also asked to pass the ketchup by another Liverpool player and he asked "red or brown?"

When Alen Boksic was at Middlesbrough, his strike partner was Noel Whelan. This did not please Alen Boksic.
One Monday after Whelan had a particularly bad game, Boksic marched into the office at Boro and said "How much does Whelan get paid per week"...the secretary told him and Boksic then asked, "how long does he have left on his contract", again the secretary told him and he left.
Boksic walked into the office the next day and handed the secretary a cheque and said "that's Whelan's wages for the rest of his contract, now tell him to kean off".

Bobby Robson was in Waterstones or wherever doing a book signing, and a guy come up to him with his book and asked him to sign it. They had a short chat, and the bloke said something along the lines of "You must be getting bored signing all these books" and Robson replied "Yeah, I've been here all day, I've signed hundreds and hundreds"

The bloke walks away and checks his book and it says "Dear (whoever), Enjoy the book. All the best, Bobby Hundreds"

Add your own...

[Amo]

Not especially on-pitch things, more like:

Jason McAteer applied for a credit card and when asked what position he held within the company he wrote "I'm a central midfielder but the boss is playing me at right wing back"

McAteer was also asked to pass the ketchup by another Liverpool player and he asked "red or brown?"

By far the best McAteer anecdote is when he'd left the keys for his new ride locked inside the car. A policeman came along and asked him to get a coat hanger to try and open the doors. McAteer came back with a wooden one.

[Hanks]

Another one from Jason http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDnI5c-jEVU

[adopted scouser]

Are there some funny ones ?

[Mike E]

I believe there was a similar incident with Lee Trundle once. Apparently locked his keys in his car. He asked a passer-by if he knew how to get them out and promptly had a brick put through the window.