[Archived] Children's Football

[onlyonetugay]

I'm sorry but I think in the midst of an adrenaline fuelled activity it's not unreasonable to swear. I never once walked onto a football pitch and had anything but respect for a referee. But I've used blue language when talking to or with many of them. Even heard it in return!

There's a difference between calling a ref an effing this or that and using swearing in a conversation.

As for the cashier analogy. It doesn't work. Where's the sport and adrenaline in a weekly shop? A trolley dash perhaps!!

I'm not saying I want a free for all. Certainly not. But I could grab a ref by the throat and throttle the poor bloke and never swear once. It's the aggressive actions not the industrial language which is a problem. Yes the two can go hand in hand. But they don't have to and very often don't. As I said, it's common sense.

I was watching highlights of some of the 6 Nations at the weekend and there was plenty of adrenaline fuelled activity in those games . I bet there wasn't one instance of a referee being told to F Off.

We should adopt a policy of zero tolerance. Respect the referee or spend the rest of the game out of sight. The same should apply to parents and spectators

[DaveyB]

I used to ref kids football games as a 17/18 year old, whilst I was doing my A-levels, as an extra source of income (about 20 years or so ago now) and I hated it because of the abuse I used to get. I remember being threatened by a parent wielding an umbrella in my face, having another parent drive slowly alongside me giving me dogs abuse as I walked home in the pouring rain and a team's manager harrassing me by ringing me at home every day for 2 weeks because I'd had the temerity to book one his players meaning he'd picked up a suspension and would miss a crucial game.

I reported all of these incidents to the league and their answer every time was to make sure I wasn't down to ref that team again for the next few weeks. As far as I am aware there was never any punishment or reprimand for the teams involved.

I now stand on the sidelines as a parent watching my son play and sometimes just despair at the behaviour of other parents. Some of the things shouted, both at the refs and the players, and the moaning and groaning are on a par with things I hear from the stands at Ewood - I really do think that, at times, the dads there forget they're watching kids play and treat the game as though it's the final of the Champions League. What makes it even sadder is that, for the most part, the lads playing seem far less bothered about the result than the parents - which really is the way it should be. At that age it should all be about improving technique and enjoyment - when you're an adult no one remembers results of games you played in at age 12!

Just as an aside, on the professional game and the berating of officials, I often wondered just what players like Savage, Dickov and others who were regularly booked for dissent actually said to the referee, since quite often on TV you can clearly see the likes of Rooney et al calling the ref a @#/? or telling him to F off, with no repercussions. I guess it will just remain a mystery!

[onlyonetugay]

I used to ref kids football games as a 17/18 year old, whilst I was doing my A-levels, as an extra source of income (about 20 years or so ago now) and I hated it because of the abuse I used to get. I remember being threatened by a parent wielding an umbrella in my face, having another parent drive slowly alongside me giving me dogs abuse as I walked home in the pouring rain and a team's manager harrassing me by ringing me at home every day for 2 weeks because I'd had the temerity to book one his players meaning he'd picked up a suspension and would miss a crucial game.

I reported all of these incidents to the league and their answer every time was to make sure I wasn't down to ref that team again for the next few weeks. As far as I am aware there was never any punishment or reprimand for the teams involved.

I now stand on the sidelines as a parent watching my son play and sometimes just despair at the behaviour of other parents. Some of the things shouted, both at the refs and the players, and the moaning and groaning are on a par with things I hear from the stands at Ewood - I really do think that, at times, the dads there forget they're watching kids play and treat the game as though it's the final of the Champions League. What makes it even sadder is that, for the most part, the lads playing seem far less bothered about the result than the parents - which really is the way it should be. At that age it should all be about improving technique and enjoyment - when you're an adult no one remembers results of games you played in at age 12!

Just as an aside, on the professional game and the berating of officials, I often wondered just what players like Savage, Dickov and others who were regularly booked for dissent actually said to the referee, since quite often on TV you can clearly see the likes of Rooney et al calling the ref a @#/? or telling him to F off, with no repercussions. I guess it will just remain a mystery!

Great to hear a view from someone who spent time at the "coalface" . Excellent post if rather depressing , especially the bit I've bolded. It's the job of the administrators to back up the referee. In the case of the manager who harrassed you , his team should have had points docked or if the crucial game was a cup match, then thrown out.

[oldjamfan1]

We have a former elite referee on the MB who may be able to answer the question about what the likes of Savage and Dickov actually said to refs.

[Stuart]

I used to ref kids football games as a 17/18 year old, whilst I was doing my A-levels, as an extra source of income (about 20 years or so ago now) and I hated it because of the abuse I used to get. I remember being threatened by a parent wielding an umbrella in my face, having another parent drive slowly alongside me giving me dogs abuse as I walked home in the pouring rain and a team's manager harrassing me by ringing me at home every day for 2 weeks because I'd had the temerity to book one his players meaning he'd picked up a suspension and would miss a crucial game.

I reported all of these incidents to the league and their answer every time was to make sure I wasn't down to ref that team again for the next few weeks. As far as I am aware there was never any punishment or reprimand for the teams involved.

I now stand on the sidelines as a parent watching my son play and sometimes just despair at the behaviour of other parents. Some of the things shouted, both at the refs and the players, and the moaning and groaning are on a par with things I hear from the stands at Ewood - I really do think that, at times, the dads there forget they're watching kids play and treat the game as though it's the final of the Champions League. What makes it even sadder is that, for the most part, the lads playing seem far less bothered about the result than the parents - which really is the way it should be. At that age it should all be about improving technique and enjoyment - when you're an adult no one remembers results of games you played in at age 12!

Just as an aside, on the professional game and the berating of officials, I often wondered just what players like Savage, Dickov and others who were regularly booked for dissent actually said to the referee, since quite often on TV you can clearly see the likes of Rooney et al calling the ref a @#/? or telling him to F off, with no repercussions. I guess it will just remain a mystery!

Good post.

As good as my parents are, I think a total ban on parent spectators would bring about a very different grassroots game. For the better IMHO.

[Steve Kean's Hypnotoad]

Great to hear a view from someone who spent time at the "coalface" . Excellent post if rather depressing , especially the bit I've bolded. It's the job of the administrators to back up the referee. In the case of the manager who harrassed you , his team should have had points docked or if the crucial game was a cup match, then thrown out.

Totally agree. The job of a ref reminds me of the job of a teacher. Teachers have to maintain a measure of control over kids and refs have to maintain a measure of control over kids or adults behaving like kids. All the teachers I know say its absolutely vital that the senior management team at a school backs you up, in terms of detentions handed out to kids or complaints from parents etc. And they also all say they'd quickly leave a school where that wasn't the case. Same thing needs to happen with refs, the league associations should come down like a ton of bricks on any club or player deemed to have seriously harassed or threatened a ref.

Saying don't ref their game again for a while is an absolutely appalling response. No wonder you quit DaveyB.