The chef was sold to cut the wage bill and replaced with a toaster (interest free purchase from comet - with extended 5-year warranty at £700

Does the warranty cover accidental insertion into Professor Reg Holdsworth's bumhole?

"Could I have my toast back please Professor? It was that naughty Alan Smiff that did it! Squeeze your bum cheeks together and see if you can get a round out."

if getting relegated will cost us 20 mill, could we not buy teh Leeds team for 15 mill, ensure they get relegated and make ourselves 5 mill?

Yes, yes, but have they found the kitten!?

I'm getting quite concerned - it could be locked in the trophy room or something!

Oh no, just had a terrible thought.

What with the budget cutbacks, the chef's cooking might have suffered.

Leave the kitten alone Mr Chef!

Latest news from Leeds is that they've lost the remote control for a JVC Home Cinema surround TV Dolby pro-logic system (installed in the canteen), some Krugeraands and a small kitten.

If anyone has a spare remote could they please send it on.

"Garry Flitcroft and 500K for your biscuit tin, that old rumpled suit and the secretary's underwear Professor."

There could also be a case for keeping a vigil underneath their office windows.

Note the BBC report that Leeds' debts are now up at £83m- they have lost another £3m in the last month.

They're so French Connectioned-careless over there, they deserve everything they get.

Prof Reg Holdsworth: "Say Thelma, did you see that 3 million quid I left on the side-board this morning."

Thelma: "Well funny you should say that Reg, because I do remember seeing it this morning, it was sat next to the goldfish. Can you remember where you had it last?"

Prof Reg: "Hmmmm ... I seem to remember having a crap and wiping my butt with a couple of spare fifties, but other than that, I can't think"

Thelma: "You've gone and lost it, haven't you? You French Connection-wit!"

Honestly, it's madness at Elland Road. I dread to think how much of their problem is simply down to mislaying cash.

A simple bit of cash management and it could all have been avoided.

Cor, it's like watching an edition of the Money Programme, this, only more interesting.

Probably - don't ask me!

I may have unintentionally given the impression before that I knew something about finance by putting some trendy words in there.

What Green could hope to get back by sticking some money I wouldn't know. He's so rich maybe it's just a bit of money to play around with.

Do you mean Green was to lend money for someone else to buy the club, and their shares, rather than buying them out directly ?. I admit I have part of me that wants to see them go tits up as well. We might sign a few decent players on the cheap as well.

Yeah, that's more or less it, Green was going to be one of Leighton's backers.

Maybe that Green bloke who ows BHS will come steaming in on Saturday and save the day. It happened just before Chelski were about to collapse.

From what I read, Green wasn't going to put money in as a principle shareholder, but was rather going to lend money to Leighton to leverage his purchase.

From a purely mercenary point of view, I want Leeds to go into administration and get 10 points docked.

Wolves have had it, and in the scenario above Leeds would almost certainly have had it, meaning that there was only one place to play for (or should I say, avoid). Dog eat dog in the current financial climate!

Get the Tea Cake boy in.

He could bring in 25 new signings on tuppence happenny and bring a refreshing windswept haircut into the dressing room. The half-time biscuity jam and marshmellow half-time confections shouldn't be discounted either.

Although the prancing up the touchline to Bonnie Tyler is a different matter.

When is a blip a malaise? Weren't we getting very similar comments on here two years ago before Andy Cole saved our hides?

Just to clarify, Roy's story was that it was a transfer "by committee": him, Jack Walker and John Williams.

But in saying that, when he went on to justify it further, he more or less blamed Jack!

Just a personal view but I feel he'd be good management material, a view apparently shared by Jack Walker who offered him a long term player manager role before he left for Newcastle.

hmm, but possibly only in the 10 minutes before he left for Newcastle, when all else had failed.

I don't have Charles Lambert's book to hand, but I think it was the night before, at either Shearer or Walker's house.

And Jack did (allegedly) persuade him. But KK came calling the day after and his mind was made up.

If I was in his shoes, I would've left as well, to be honest.

Why on earth would you want Shearer to be the manager of Blackburn Rovers?

Just a personal view but I feel he'd be good management material, a view apparently shared by Jack Walker who offered him a long term player manager role before he left for Newcastle.

Hell's bells, are you serious?!

Have you observed his managerial attributes at close hand?

We gave Howard Kendall a job because we were skint. What we need now is not a new manager but a new benefactor.

Anyway, got distracted half way through that so if it doesnt make perfect sense, soory, but basically what I am saying is leave Souness alone, just bring in Mark Hughes as coach!!

And yu could do that over Souness's head, could you?

Poor old Houllie chops!

Tee hee!

it their own fault. they should have been more careful with their money. i think they will be relegated and then the real trouble starts.

That's very deep.

All administration means is that an accountant is sent in to maximise club assets and stop money pi$$ing out of the door. In return, the interests on the debts is frozen.

Once the company comes out of administration hopefully cash management at the club is much better, and the creditors have a chance of getting their dosh back. No debts are written off, that only happens in a bankruptcy I think.

Having said that, whatever stunt Leicester pulled to get out of the cr@p was a good one, because I don't remember any winding-up orders.

I do like Boeuf and Onion flavour.

But I draw the line at ar$ey French Onion & sour grapes flavour.

If you look at all of Houli-hoops quotes in the press in the last couple of seasons, Liverpool must've turned a dozen corners and got over 3 or 4 watersheds.

He's crap. I don't like him.

Not only do the Leeds board come out of this badly, but what the hell were the companies that lent to them thinking of?

I can't see them getting more than 10% of their money back.

If I was lending money and a club came to me saying:

"we have a novice manager who will get us into the Champions' League for X years running. We need big finance to get into the Champs League so that we can get big money, all of which will pay off the big finance. Our repayments are dependent upon our novice manager not screwing up with the 100 million."

I'd tell them to take a running jump.