"Floating Baby Moses Syndrome"

Translate please.

http://www.dagbladet.no/sport/2004/06/11/400261.html

Throw ze chicken up into ze air, zhoot ze chicken wif shotgun. Stew chicken wit ze herring for 72 hours.

Meaningwhile, pop into sauna and thrash yourself with twigs.

Throw chicken out of doors and eat ze herring.

I think that's what it says.

Probably don't need Z, you're right. These eastern Europeans are not all they're cracked up to be.

Looking at the "upside"we now have a very impressive range of potential scapegoats.

I've looked at myself very hard in the mirror, liked what I've seen, thought hard about holiday destinations, and what I should do about that hair growing out of my ear.

And I firmly believe Dickov is to blame. For what I don't know.But there's something going on which I don't like. Perhaps it's other people having more sex than me. Maybe not. But perhaps it is.

Whatever it is, once we found out what it is, I firmly believe that once we've found out who's to blame for whatever it is, that man to blame will be Dickov.

I dunno about next season, certainly gonna be a loooooooooooooooong close season!

"Souness is crapola, we'll get relegated by November for sure, he only buys has-beens, he should buy X, Y and Z, but he doesn't because he's rubbish, and I wish someone would listen to me, but you're all souness-lovers who don't come from Blackburn, unlike me, I don't either!"

"That's rubbish, he's not rubbish, look how far we've come under him, we've signed some good young players."

"No we haven't, look at the players we almost signed but didn't, they're in their early thirties FFS! If he'd signed those then he really would've been rubbish. But he didn't. But he's still rubbish!"

"No he isn't!"

"Yes he is!"

ariston and on and on and on and on ...

Not even halfway through June yet.

With the Pederson deal looking increasingly doubtful (Would he be the answer anyway?)

Why is it looking increasingly doubtful?

You don't sign players in an afternoon you know, it takes a little longer, unless you're Chelsea.

And why do you think he wouldn't be the answer? Have you seen him play then?

Well if it's any consolation, I think we'll have a good season next year.

I'm still dubious of whether Matteo will solve the centre back problem bearing in mind that we lack pace at the back.

However, the midfield should be strong, assuming Thommo and Ferguson are back to full fitness and starting in centre midfield. Emerton will be on the right and hopefully MGP providing the width.

What is it with you and pace? Did we need pace when Short and Berg made us finish 6th?

infact... name me one 'pacey' defender we have had in the past few years, or more importantly, when we needed one really bad.

As far as im concerned the players. Owen scores a lot against us granted, but I cant really remember the last time we were 'ripped' in half by pace, if anything its down the wings we seem to be vunerable to pace. I remember that genius Malbranque ripping us to bits down the right, Diouf down the left so if we can address that part of defence we should be ok.

How many centre backs have had real pace down the years?

Des Walker

Chris Perry

???

Portugal or Sussex?!

Apart from Stead I can't see us doing much better this season than last.

Yes Bazza was coming good but Amo well less said about him the better.

Amo? The bloke who, once fit, helped us to four wins on the spin?

Bleeding 'eck!

Sox, crack open a tinny mate. Make mine a Guinness! :-)

I apologise in advance for my lack of 'enthusiasm' for the next season, but looking at the contract renewals and the signings im feeling VERY apprehensive.

Really?

Biting your nails/ getting no sleep/ breaking out in a cold sweat/ drinking heavily anxious?

Get a grip man, it's football, not real life. Save real anxiety for large credit card bills/ getting assaulted/ getting cancer etc.

In any case, we'll be fine next season, no worries.

If we get Matteo for about 1 mill, I think that means we have about 2 mill for a left-winger?

So perhaps we'll be able to up our Pedersen bid (but will still be half a mill short of Tromso's valuation).

Bred Fridel

Should be "Bread Griddle".

Poor Andy, I can imagine he's feeling a bit low now!

"Sheryl, Orrible Souness didn't mention me when he welcomed Dickov to Ewood! Not fair, not fair!"

"Don't worry love. You look after the kids while I go shopping on your gold card. I'll be back in 6 hours. By the way, you look so cute stomping up and down with your hands on your hips. See ya!"

How should Souness have welcomed Dickov then?

"He'll be a good role model for G & S, but not as good as Andy. He should get a few goals, but of course, not as good as Andy, who'll score more. He's got a good attitude on him, but not as good as Andy of course, whom I've always admired and who I desperately want to stay."

I mean it's laughable.

Perhaps Graeme would be better off pointing Stead and Gallagher in the direction of Andy Cole then? "There you are lads see how he stands about with his hands on his hips like he's totally ****** off" - "there you go lads see how Andy is now reporting me to the PFA" - "there you go lads see how Andy wants more time off from training even though we're in a relegation battle".

It's all been said before Rev but at the end of the day I'd imagine that Souness and Cole will get on because they have to - for the good of the club. I doubt they're ever going to be the best of buddies so it's hardly surprising that Souness hasn't mentioned Andy as a role model.

As for the Cole leaving Ewood story - you did well to conclude that from yesterday's LET. Williams has already said that he'll be here next season. Stranger things have happened of course - but if someone comes in with £3million (when he'll walk away at the end of next season for nothing) what would you do?

How dare you make a perfectly reasonable point in response to Simon's slagging of Souness, I mean how dare you Bob?!

A throwaway remark about a new signing that doesn't mention the Premiership's second highest goalscorer and foremost hands-on-hipster is a clear snub that says: "Andy, there's the door. See if you can hit from from 2 yards. Now try again. Now try opening it."

I knwo you normally live on the ragged edge of existence, doing the undoable, and generally being a maverick in the style of Magnum PI, but Bob, you've gone too far this time!

TDI looks like a hatchet man! Ouch.

We're a club of indeterminate size* who've just signed a small player.

* how do you measure a club? Distance of the chief execs office from the door? Are Citeh "massive" because they have maassive debts?

Ooops. Yeah I realised that afterwards, but couldn't be bothered editing.

I didn't mean that nobody can argue with Souness being given a chance, I meant that nobody can argue that we need to do better this season.

As for Waggy thinking our Graeme should be sacked, tell us something we don't know! :-))

I'm not sure I understand.

You're disagreeing with the idea that we must show an improvement next year?

You actually want us to be worse?!

Souness earned the right to lead us into next season ... but there must be a huge improvement this time round.

I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with that!

I support Scotland whatever.

You a Rovers fan whatever?

A Celtic fan whatever?

A royal pain in the harris whatever!

I think Jan gets a pay-off from Glenn and Ste for making incendiary remarks which generate increased web traffic!

"If my aunt were a man she'd be my uncle" is another fitting one.

Doesn't make sense to me.

"If my Aunt was a man, then my Uncle would be a big bender." is surely more accurate?

I thought it was:

"Bar Rumba Fancy Cocktail Suppers"?

Bob: you're a crazy man!

You are a crazy man man man man!

I'll give you £500 if Danns is good enough to go on to be England captain.

and i'll give you a million if dikov scores 30 goals next season.

Can I have 500K if he scores 15?