He doesn't buy them, not read them. This baseball bat & Alan Green thing. Is there some organised event or is it just a turn up as and when you feel like. Do we need to bring our own baseball bat, or will a stout stick be adequate?

I quite like this one. http://www.atoptics.co.uk/

Ho ho ho ho ho.

Dillo, That link needs to be in English. Colin

It has a sense of humour! Put in "Edson Arantes do Nascimento" and it comes up with the correct answer.

It's very clever isn't it? I really didn't realise what they had done for ages. Pity the postman had to fold the card. Colin Vennegoor of Hesselink

Too true, every one of those yellow cards was deserved. They were either for dangerous and reckless fouls or for doing something that the player should have known would have generated a yellow (ie Deco picking the ball up to delay a Dutch free kick.) No doubt there will be lots and lots of comment about how the ref "lost the game." IMHO he didn't. The players and their managers "lost the game." They know the laws, they should know by now how the refs have been told to interpret the laws. I'm just waiting for the next moron to take his shirt off after scoring a goal.................

Poll certainly made a big balls-up, I for one found it deeply entertaining. However, that player that he booked twice. Why didn't he walk? Just as an experiment I think the third place play-off should be held without a ref or linesmen. That should put a value on the officials. I'd give it about two minutes, before anarchy and chaos arrrived.

Best laugh I've had for days. Thanks Dave

Nice preview. Makes a change from reading about the Middlebrough environment. But what are the pies like?

Carlton Palmer anyone? I quite like Crouch(y.) So many people are all so obsessed with him being a 2m tall bean-pole that they forget that he is a quite reasonable striker. Not the best in the world, but name an English player who could do better at the moment.

Florent Cinema-Pongolle? Perchance mon petit chou?

I was half overhearing a programme on radio 5 tonight which was hosted by a bunch of Jocks. All very lighthearted & quite funny. One (Scottish) caller sent them a message to say that if Ian Wright was knocked over by a car, then he would be the first to write a letter asking for an ambulance. Which seems sympathetic enough to me.

Sign Crouch, bring back Dickov. Just imagine the celebration if they scored.

If my psychiatrist hadn't given me the electro-shock treatment I would bet **zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz** ouch!! good money on Ghana going the distance. They looked really good against the Czech Republic.

I think we are all a little bit overawed by Brazil and this is no doubt re-enforced by the commentary we hear on telly. Motson was cringingly fawning for their previous game and John Champion was similarly crawling for their game against the Aussies. It was a bit like listening to Clive Tylseley commentating on a Red Scum game. If Brazil are so blooming good why have they only beaten Croatia 1-0 & The Aussies 2-0? Hardly word class opposition, just wait until they meet someone decent like Argentina.

Would this be the same Peter Crouch who has scored six goals in his last five games in an England shirt? Sounds like an OK player to me. Just pretend he is under 2metres tall, stop all the stuff about "For a big fellow he's got good feet," I know a few people who are 2m tall who can manage to walk without tripping over every other step. Some of them can even manage to climb stairs without stumbling and having to be rushed to hospital with head wounds. And he's got twinkly little toes too. Anyone else notice his tricks next to the corner flag over the past few games? And as for blaming him for the England team playing the long ball game because he's on the pitch (if anyone did) ..........I don't think that's his fault.

Thanks for the reply Smithy, To be honest I'm not too bothered about Simon Hughes' success in that election. However I do find it interesting that someone such as yourself (and indeed a large number of the population) find it surprising that a gay man would want to hide his sexuality from the electorate. Perhaps it's because they are continually whipped up into a homophobic froth by the media. Then you criticise Hughes for hiding his homosexuality. The poor bloke can't win can he? He either comes out as gay and gets clobbered or doesn't and gets clobbered later. That said, his treatment of Tatchell was pretty disgraceful. As you have already said, that was homophobia. Which somehow leads me to ask why did you bother posting in the first place?

I probably deserved that. But if you are going to be Alistair Campbell to Smithy's Tony Blair you should expect some flak.

I'm not talking to you, I'm asking AESF. I'm afraid.

Smithy, You're not suggesting that people should vote for candidates according to their sexual tendencies are you? It would certainly be a revelation if every candidate at local and general elections had to submit a subsiduary manifesto based on their sexual preferences. Doggy, missionary, leaping off the wardrobe, purchases from Ann Summers that need batteries.......interesting but hardly going to help when you want to know which candidate supports (say) building nuclear power stations. I tend to think that people will vote for candidates based on their policies and politics. Don't you? Anyway, how come you are so interested in Simon Hughes being gay?

Theno & Revidge, I'm not being "anti" or "pro" Lucal Neill. I'm just trying to work out why a simple comment has lead to all this hatred of the guy. Look at the first post in this thread. Then look at the following comments. They just add petrol to a fire that wasn't there in the first place To my mind it's simple hysteria. That's it really.

From which bit of this thread do you (or anyone else) take it that Lucas Neill wants a transfer? I really need an answer.

Here's the best I can do: Arsenal - The Arse , only because the first four letters of their name spell out a rude word for your bum Aston Villa - Nothing special, you'd have to ask their local rivals (see next entry) (Birmingham>>Big Club / authorized) (Bolton >>Notlob /authorized) ... Burnley ... on and on Charlton - I don't think anyone has much to say about Charlton Chelsea - Chelski - mentioned before Coventry - we don't care Derby - we don't care Everton - we don't care apart from the fact that they took 6 points off us this season Grrrr. And their supporters will steal the wheels off your cars. Scoucers. Fulham - we don't care Leeds - we don't care, but they are famous for spending about 10 times more money than they had and getting relegated. Possibly "Yorkshire sheep-shaggers" They have sex with sheep. Leicester - we don't care. Their original nickname is "The Filberts" because the ground was on Filbert Street. A Filbert is a kind of nut. They now play at the Walkers Stadium. Walkers make a fat-laden & salt-laden snack which Gary Lineker is paid to advertise. AESF will probably fill you in on this one. Liverpool - More stealing wheels off cars. Scoucers. They have won 5 European cups though Luton - we don't care, although they are nicknamed "The Hatters" just like Stockport County. Apparantly part of the process of making hats in both towns involved using mercury which affected the brains of the hat workers, hence the "Mad Hatter" from "Alice In Wonderland" Man City: my local club. I wouldn't hear a word said against them, but yes, "Citah" Man Utd: Where do I start? The most hated team in the country for their arrogence and their manager Alex Ferguson who I'm proud to have named the "Rat Faced Whinger" Horrible club, we took 6 points off them this season thanks to Mortan Gamst Pederson. Middlesbrough: "Smoggies" due to the fact that they are situated in an industrial town next to one of ERuropes biggest chemical factory complexes. About six years ago they failed to turn up for a match at Ewood due to illness and were docked three points. They got relegated. Millwall: Famous for "No one likes us we don't care." We don't care at all. Newcastle: Alan Shearer left us to join them because that was where he was born. The @#/?. They have never won anything but thyt attract big support apart from when they are rubbish. Graeme Souness went to manage them. Ha ha ha ah. Portsmouth: Don't care about them Preston: If it wasn't for Burnley we'd not like them as much as we do Goodness this is a bit of an ordeal, still let me press on Reading: don't care Sheff Utd: "The Blades" Neil Warnock is their manager, he is mad. Watch him get sent off lots next season for abusung the referee. Sheff Wed: "The Owls" They play at a stadium in Owlerton Don't care Stoke: Don't care Sunderland: Got promoted with a record number of points last season, got relegated with a record minimum number of points this season. I spent a year living in Sunderland. It is worse than Blackburn. Thet play at "The Stadium Of Light" Tottenham: Now here is the big one. Worthington Cup Final, they just had to turn up on the day and they would win it. They didn't and there was a great big sulk. We've been pointing the finger & laughing ever since Watford: Who? West Brom: Been relegated, West Ham: Ooooh some one else do this.. Wigan: Don't knock them, That's it, I'm knackered, can someone else finish this off Wolverhampton

Can we just go back to LA Rovers original quote? Now can anyone extrapolate that into the witch hunt that has followed? He wants to go to The Barcodes/ he wants to to Spuds???? Then Stephen Reid and David Bentley appear as traitors. Cheeses, some of you lot should have been alive when Alive Nutter & Co were carted off to Lancaster & hanged. You would have been wonderful. Although I've heard it on good authority that Lucas keeps a number of wombats in a shed behind his house. He plans to release them to exterminate the indiginous badger & otter population. Cripes!