Times today Jeremy Wisten’s mum messages me when I score — I get survivor’s guilt’ Blackburn’s Tyrhys Dolan, who was best friends with former Manchester City youngster who took his own life, on coping with loss and the perils of academy system For young footballers, rejection can bite hard. Tyrhys Dolan, a gifted winger at Blackburn Rovers, discovered that when he was released by Manchester City at 15. It was removing the club’s name from his social media accounts. Being at school with the other academy players, at St Bede’s College in Whalley Range, only to be left behind when they went off to training. Dolan landed at Preston North End and a year later his best friend turned up there too. Jeremy Wisten was in the year below Dolan at City but eventually he was confronted by the same crushing disappointment, with the coaching staff informing him that he too would not be receiving a professional scholarship. He could continue his education at fee-paying St Bede’s, as part of the commitment City made to all their youngsters. But he would have to play football elsewhere. Preston offered Wisten a trial, and in a training session that represented his one opportunity to make an impression he found himself directly up against Dolan. Wisten was at right back, Dolan on the left flank. Dolan liked Wisten from the moment he started chatting to him in the players’ canteen at City’s academy. Then aged 13, Wisten was warm and funny, and the pair shared a passion for fashion and music. They also both lived on the south side of Manchester and it was not long before Wisten’s mum was regularly dropping him at Dolan’s family home in Broadheath. They were inseparable, hanging out together on Dolan’s estate or jumping on the tram into the city centre. When it came to that trial at Preston, nobody wanted Wisten to succeed more than Dolan. “I looked out for him like a big brother,” Dolan says. “I said to him, ‘Show me the left side and I’m going to go to the right, and you can take me down.’ He was easily good enough to play at Preston but I wanted him to impress the coaches, even if it meant making myself look shit.” Did he nail the tackle? “Oh yeah, he did me,” Dolan says with a smile. Sadly, it was not enough. Preston passed on Wisten and so did the other clubs that looked at him. “I think he went to Swansea after that but he struggled after being let go by City,” Dolan says. “It really knocked his confidence. Wisten instead took a job in a sports shop at the Trafford Centre but he and Dolan remained the closest of mates. “I was on £125 a week at Preston and sometimes I couldn’t afford to put petrol in my car,” he says. “Jeremy would end up giving me money.” On the surface, at least, Wisten remained in good spirits. They organised a night out for Wisten’s 18th birthday at a smart Italian restaurant in the village of Hale Barns. Wisten, Dolan and two other friends. “He wanted to go to a nightclub but it was in Covid time so we were limited as to what we could do,” Dolan says. “But we had a great time. It got to midnight and the other two wanted to go home. Jeremy was like, ‘Nah, Ty, we need to stay out.’ We ended up booking a hotel so we could have a couple more drinks and enjoy ourselves. “He seemed really happy. He was always the life and soul of any party. He made everyone laugh. Everyone loved it when he turned up because he had this good energy.” Yet two weeks later Wisten was dead. An inquest determined that the teenager had taken his own life. Dolan starts to shake as he recalls the message he received from Wisten’s sister; then the telephone conversation he had with Wisten’s mother. “I remember that morning so clearly,” he says. “I’d signed for Blackburn [three months earlier] by then and my mum was making a cup of tea before I left for training. I was looking at the weather out the window. I said it’s going to be a lovely day. And then I got the message to call his mum … she was trying to be strong and thanked me for being his best mate.” Even now, almost five years on, Dolan struggles to process what happened. “He just seemed like he was OK, which is scary because it just shows how good he was at masking it,” he says. “But clearly behind closed doors he was really hurting; he was broken. “For me it’s tough because you then start to question yourself. You think, ‘Well, if I was a good friend I should have seen that.’ But you also don’t want to beat yourself up. I didn’t see it. His own family didn’t expect it either. I try to be thankful for his friendship.” We are in a café not far from St George’s Church in Altrincham, where Wisten’s funeral was held. Dolan was among the pallbearers. “I also wrote a poem but I honestly can’t remember reading it during the service,” he says. “I don’t really remember carrying the coffin either. “It’s weird but it’s like the trauma has just made me forget it. I’m still close to all his friends. I still drop in and see his mum for a cup of tea. But at the time I really struggled with anxiety. “Everywhere I went, I felt like everyone was looking at me because they knew I was closest to him. I felt it at the funeral too.” Dolan dealt with his grief by trying to do something positive. He became an ambassador for Go Again, a mental health sports charity for children and adults. Part of that involves making himself available for counselling, and talking not just about his dear friend but also about the challenges he has faced on his own journey through football. “I’ve spoken to a few players, giving advice to lads who have been released by clubs,” he says. “I do think football could do more to give players a better understanding of how hard it really is. And it could maybe do more to help players who are released. The PFA does this really good thing with its summer camps for out-of-contract players. I wonder whether there could be something like that for younger players too.” He reflects on his departure from City. “It was tough because you’re proud to be a City player,” he says. “Everyone knew me around the area as that. And coming from Manchester, it’s massive. “So it was obviously hard to then tell people that you don’t play for City any more. Taking Man City out of my social media stuff, that was upsetting. I’ve got friends who no longer play football, who left ‘footballer’ on their social media stuff for ages because it was so hard to take it down.” Dolan was in a talented year group that included Cole Palmer. “I’ve always had quite a good mindset,” he says. “I can bounce back from things. But it was difficult at school too. “Again, you’re no longer one of the City players. You’re seeing the boys go to training, just watching them leave. You’re embarrassed.” Preston represented a significant change. “I went from being at the CFA [City Football Academy], the best facilities in the world, to training at the University of Lancashire, with people walking their dogs and the academy manager having to chase kids off the pitch,” he says. “But at least I was enjoying my football. At City I hadn’t been playing much and that was the only thing that mattered. I don’t really need glitz and glamour.” He spent three years at Preston but ran into another roadblock at 18. With no under-21 set-up at the club at that time, he either had to be deemed ready for first-team action or he was out. Preston let him go. Scouts in the region were nevertheless aware of Dolan’s talent as a quick, skilful, attacking winger who could score goals and possessed impressive levels of endurance, a product of his commitment to extra running training under the guidance of his dad, Matt. Covid added a further complication but a door finally opened at Blackburn, and in July 2020 Dolan signed his first professional contract, worth £325 a week. A training session involving a mixture of first-team players and youngsters proved a turning point. “Tony Mowbray was the manager and he said, ‘Who’s that over there,’ and the academy manager told him they’d just signed me,” Dolan says. “He said, ‘I’ll bring him up with us and see how he does,’ and I never looked back. Some of the older players said they couldn’t believe I’d been released by Preston.” Dolan made 37 appearances in the Championship during that 2020-21 season, and has been a first-team regular at Ewood Park ever since. In the most recent campaign he made 44 appearances, scoring seven goals. Along the way he also secured two caps for England Under-20, which included a goal against Germany. This, however, is stuff he often struggles to talk about. “If I score a goal Jeremy’s mum will message me straight away,” he says. “And the mates I have who are no longer footballers, who are now doing normal jobs, will come to watch me play. Jeremy was buzzing for me when I made my first-team debut for Blackburn. He was the first to message me. He was so happy for me that I’d made it. “But sometimes I get that survivor’s guilt; where you’ve made it but you really want your best friends to have made it with you. They’re watching you living your dream but it was their dream too. They love to support me, and I really appreciate that. But sometimes I don’t even like speaking about it, as sad as that is, because I don’t want to glorify it too much. I just know how much it would have meant to them to be a footballer too.” Dolan has now arrived at another crossroads in his career. A new deal is on offer at Blackburn but he has allowed his present contract to lapse in the hope of securing a move to a Premier League club this summer. “I’m very grateful to Blackburn,” he says. “I’ve been through some of the worst as well as the best times in my life while being there. The club means so much to me. I made my professional debut for them and they helped me so much when Jeremy died. “But it’s a short career and I’ve always wanted to play at the top level, and at this point I’m a free agent with the belief in myself to perform anywhere.” He owes it to himself to at least try, knowing that nobody would have encouraged him more than the one very special person with whom he once shared a dream.

Is there a ratio (or is it a constant) between the number of pages of this thread, the number of names mentioned and the players actually signed? 🙂

No love for City but under Pep Premier League x5, Carabao x4, FA cup x2, Champions League x1, EUFA super league x1, Club World Cup x1.

That's an image I'm never gong to get out of my head 😉

Classic management term in textbooks 😉

Ah, the violence on the terraces, those were the days.....

Good stuff glen. Hope your unexpected surgery went OK.

Calling Jim....:-)

Memory issues come to us all -can't remember what scores were a week ago but can remember stuff from 50 years ago. As to walking into a room and then forgetting why I am there.....;-)

No offence intended at all 47er but I can't find a record of that game. https://www.11v11.com/teams/blackburn-rovers/tab/opposingTeams/opposition/Manchester City/

Tease. 😉

As per the last 15 years, the football and performance on the pitch is subordinate if not irrelevant in relation to a core of non-footballing self-interested agencies and personnel more interested in maintaining power, control and personal profit.

Let attempted control of the narrative continue and deepen. JE’s fault; Pears fault; refs fault; nobody expected us to be 7th; nearly made it but we’ll rebuild (how many times now?) again in the summer; new project underway; new manager to take us forward… …meanwhile internecine warfare behind the scenes, budgets cut, contracts not sorted… We all know the real score here and it wasn’t just what happened on the pitch today. …good luck glen. Frankly, you are a hero.

Been away so only just seen this. What on earth are you going on about? I said I was pleased that it remained in place. I wasn't pouring cold water on anything. I wasn't making anything up. I did not say the club were all over it (I consistently say the club is a dysfuntional nightmare). I'll put it down to a misreading.

Surprised (and pleased) that remained in place for so long. All fans, women and kids bags etc being searched on entry.