Tyrone Shoelaces

I was playing and watching when your dad was swimming around in his dad's left testicle. I think that entitles me to have an opinion on players. It's my opinion, that's all. If you don't like it put me on ignore.

The thing is Tormund stats don't tell the whole story. Sometimes you have to see the player close up. What I did like about him was that he had a good attitude, he was a trier and he'd run around to the best of his ability. He was good in the six yard box, he had a cool head in front of goal and two good feet. What let him down was a lack of real speed and strength. He was only average pace wise and was easily brushed off the ball , he rarely won the ball in a one on one challenge although he always tried to get involved. As you say - he did his level best but he didn't impose himself enough. I wish the lad well and hope he stars for Malmo. He may thrive in a more technical and less frenetic league.

I want every player who pulls on that blue and white shirt do well. That is a given. That's why we support the club. That doesn't mean to say that I'm prepared to disbelieve what my eyes are telling me. The lad wasn't good enough last season and he certainly won't be good enough for us this season. You think differently, you weren't watching the same player as me. He was ineffectual lots of the time because he lacked real pace and physical strength. This isn't just my view, lots of fans who saw him in the flesh week in week out would agree with me. It didn't take Leeds long to work him out either.

How many man of the match performances did he put in ? I must have missed that one.

No doubt he'll set the Comp on fire with his Bellamy like pace and Sheareresque power play.

How many singing his praises now would be jumping up and down if he came back ? He's gone back to Malmo because he wasn't fast enough or strong enough for this level of football. Leeds had seen enough. No other British club was interested obviously. You can get away with not being strong up front if you're quick and you can get away with not being quick if you're strong but you need one of those attributes at least.

Apart from his goals Antonnson contributed very little.

Yeah, no point us looking at that Messi bloke at Barca, he's never played in the Championship either.

If we can only have one striker I wouldn't go for either of those two We need someone with a bit of size and presence.

Or if Dack gets injured again, of course we have Gladwin to fill in for him though.

" Netto " were building a small super market near me. It was about a fortnight off opening, staff were being employed, then they changed their minds and pulled out ! Who does that remind you of ? It's an " Iceland "now. We're shopping in " Poundland " at the moment. Next step - the food bank.

I'm on holiday in Spain with a keen Sunderland fan who lives in the Midlands. He watches them now and again but his brother is a die hard and has a season ticket there. I asked him about Fletcher earlier. He looked puzzled and said " He didn't do much for us ".

Do they play at home every week ? No wonder they're doing well.

If he's the lad I think he is he looked very promising on the occasion I saw him play on TV.

Now that's what I call a shirt.

If I wasn't out in Spain I'd have walked over to the game and see what he's like again.

He's not nasty enough for me either. You've got to fight fire with fire up front. It's part of what's known as " presence ".

He's not good at winning " challenged" headers against brick outhouse centre halves.

What way do we play ? This season's pattern of play has yet to be revealed.

It would depend on what is written down in black and white. The Chokers aren't smart enough to put in a clause that encompassed every transfer a certain player was involved in. They'd just be grateful to grab the readies.

We wouldn't see any of it even if we were entitled to some dosh.

Mrs Shoelaces has a saying - " All your taste must be in your mouth ".

Chicken feed !

He made our midfield look very ordinary in the game at Boundary Park last season.

Didn't Byrne come here with an equally big reputation ? I seem to recall " The next Roy Keane " being mentioned. Where they got that from I don't know, he's nothing like him in playing style even allowing for the gulf in class.