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Question: How Many Steve Keans does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to say that it is in fact a positive that the light bulb blew.

1 to defend how well the light bulb had done in the first 30 minutes before it blew.

1 to explain how only 1% of people believe the light bulb to have blown so it can’t have done.

1 to say how he didn’t see the lightbulb blow so therefore it can’t have done.

1 to exclaim that there was absolutely no chance of the light bulb blowing.

1 to announce that the blown light bulb will be signing a new contract within the next 48 hours.

1 to say that he in fact ‘forfeited’ the light bulb so that we could concentrate on some new light bulbs.

1 to proclaim that the dark days are behind us even though he’s stood there in the dark.

1 to say that he has signed a host of new foreign light bulbs, but will have to store them away in the shed until they adjust to the pace of English electricity.

1 to explain that the light emitted from a light bulb is not the only way to measure its success.

1 to defend that the shape and ambition of the light bulb was fine despite the fact it failed to emit a single photon of light on or off target in 90 minutes.

1 to put the light bulb in the wrong way and stand back whilst it blows the entire fusebox.

1 to explain that he will sit down with the broken light bulb’s owners and discuss budgets for some cheap replacements.

1 to explain that before he does anything with regards replacing the light bulb he must run it past his agent, Jerome Anderson and his lawyers.

1 to explain how growing up on the rough streets of Glasgow taught him how to change the light bulb.

1 to claim that the light bulb cannot light up due to contractual issues.

1 to claim that the light bulb is injured and will not light up again this season, before everybody sees it light up in a different house just days later.

1 to claim that we will conclude all light bulb buying early in the transfer window and buy experienced light bulbs that will come in and shine straight away.

1 to claim that the light bulb exceeded its capacity because its drink was spiked.

1 to say the electric company are fully behind him despite cutting off the power six months ago.

1 to claim the light bulb was not in the right frame of mind to light up despite the light bulb insisting otherwise.

1 to announce that the light bulb is going nowhere before selling it to the Russians.

1 to claim that he will attend to the light bulb after he has waded through the hundreds of letters of support for his work.

1 to state that the light bulb worked perfectly well at Old Trafford and Anfield so what’s the problem?

1 to explain that the light bulb is a late developer, but will shine brightly in the near future.

1 to insist that the new light bulb is the next best thing since sliced bread, then never use said light bulb.

1 to say that despite being broken, these are exciting times for the light bulb.

1 to take the broken light bulb to Dubai to increase its vitamin D levels.

1 to purchase a light bulb multi-pack, aiming to highlight their ‘togetherness’

1 to claim that the electrician who installed the light bulb is a ‘f***ing crook’, so he should fit the new light bulb.

1 to say that the broken light bulb has taken a step backwards to take two steps forwards.

1 to claim that it was he who had spotted the light bulb’s potential and was responsible for getting it fitted in the first place.

1 to claim that the owners of the broken light bulb are in fact very knowledgeable about light bulb maintenance despite the fact they have no idea what to do.

1 to claim that there had been a foul in the run-up to the light bulb blowing so therefore we were unlucky that it did.

1 to rather than put in a like-for-like replacement light bulb, attempt to install a light bulb which doesn’t fit the socket just because he had fallen out with the first.

1 to do absolutely nothing about changing the light bulb. No substitutions allowed.

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Love it - black humour to match dark times. So you're the one responsible for all these 'dark forces' that were supposed to be abound at Park, Yoda!

I wish,

The dark forces are still there, apparently :wacko:

I can only take the credit for posting it, it came from elswhere


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1 to say this light bulb will sign for us within next 24hrs and off to canada to see manufacturer

1 to say if only we can try switching on the light bulb 10 more times, we won't be in the situation we are in(absolute drakness)

1 to say ther's NO WAY this light bulb will blow,we not even thinking of it( we're relegated)

ohh ya and the best of the lot ...

i don't know what the fuk is a light bulb , but if i stay positve ...people will think its shining

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