The link is in this interview with JW from the LET. We had the 8th highest wage bill last season. Surely once Ostenstad went that would have reduced it to the 16th highest though...?

It would be a stark contrast to Souness. Imagine if a referreeing decision went against us. Instead of Souey remonstrating, swearing and waving his arms about we'd have "Hey ref! .... C'm 'ere"

Maybe he gets his Left and Right mixed up...? Someone comes along with a right-sided midfielder for sale and Souey says "Oooh! I don't think I have one of those, I'll take it!" only to get back to Ewood and find he already has three.

Funnily enough my dad has been saying that all season (about getting Wilcox back). Still, he's insane and wears clown pants to home games so what does he know! I thought you wrote that Wilcox wears Clown pants when I first read this . Wilcox will be cheap, but I'm not sure he'll be any good. He can't even get into the Leeds team !. I'm pretty sure Wilcox does wear clown pants to home games which is why doesn't get in the Leeds team! Wilcox is apparently one of the best players in training but he turns up to the home games with clown pants, red nose and enormous shoes. He used to go the whole hog and have clown hair too but Ivan Campo nicked it.

I'm one of the minority of people (in fact there may only be me) that liked Wilcox. He laid on a lot of goals for Shearer and he was a competent finisher himself. I'm not sure he's the answer now though. He may not be worse than what we've had on the left this season but I'm not sure he'd be any better either - and he'd have the crowd on his back before he'd kicked a ball.

He has to be up early in the morning for training in Blackburn. Stopping up 'til all hours in London (or wherever) is just going to leave him tired and irritable... ...and it's his work that will suffer.

I normally find the best thing to do if something "feels like a kick in the @#/?" is double-up on the floor howling in pain with a contorted, anguished expression on my face (in fact quite similar to a Yorkie smile). That soon sorts it out.

Does the warranty cover accidental insertion into Professor Reg Holdsworth's bumhole? "Could I have my toast back please Professor? It was that naughty Alan Smiff that did it! Squeeze your bum cheeks together and see if you can get a round out." *Boing*............ "Ah, chocolate spread too!" Do you ever wish a thought hadn't lodged itself in your brain?! Have we wandered off thread?

Oh no, just had a terrible thought. What with the budget cutbacks, the chef's cooking might have suffered. Leave the kitten alone Mr Chef! The chef was sold to cut the wage bill and replaced with a toaster (interest free purchase from comet - with extended 5-year warranty at £700). Players are expected to bring their own bread of course. Alan Smith was no doubt holding the kitten and third Krugeraand twin to ransom to ensure he gets the deferred 30% of his wage back. Sneaky that! If anyone is to be sold from Leeds, I'd expect it will be Paul Robinson and we don't really need him because all our wheeling and dealing in the transfer market this month has already yielded the following players:- 1. Peter Enckelman - Goalkeeper

Yes, yes, but have they found the kitten!? I'm getting quite concerned - it could be locked in the trophy room or something! Any link to the wage deferral news Alan? The PFA were holding talks with the players last I saw...

I think I saw Risdale with a remote control. Is the TV permanently tuned to the Shopping Channel now?

They're so French Connectioned-careless over there, they deserve everything they get. Prof Reg Holdsworth: "Say Thelma, did you see that 3 million quid I left on the side-board this morning." Thelma: "Well funny you should say that Reg, because I do remember seeing it this morning, it was sat next to the goldfish. Can you remember where you had it last?" Prof Reg: "Hmmmm ... I seem to remember having a crap and wiping my butt with a couple of spare fifties, but other than that, I can't think" Thelma: "You've gone and lost it, haven't you? You French Connection-wit!" Honestly, it's madness at Elland Road. I dread to think how much of their problem is simply down to mislaying cash. A simple bit of cash management and it could all have been avoided. I wonder if they've checked down the back of the sofa? That's the first place I look if I've lost some money. It's easily done. You put the £3M in your pocket ready to take it to the bank and think "I'll just have a quick coffee before I go out". Plonk yourself down on the sofa with your coffee and... wooop! ...£3M slips out of your pocket straight down the back of the sofa. If we can't afford to make a bid for Smith or Viduka. I say way make a sneaky loan move for the sofa.

As far as I was aware, the 10 point deduction only applies to clubs in the Nationwide that go into administration - so Leeds would be spared that if they go into administration before they are relegated. If they manage to sort out the short term to avoid administration and are still relegated, administration would surely follow with a 10 point deduction that could see them drop into the 2nd division. Quite a big risk. So Scotty's option 2 would seem the only way for them to avoid administration on Monday.

A BBC radio report last night said that the American companies had had the foresight to make the loans "guaranteed" so £60M of the £80M debt would remain even if they went into and subsequently emerged from administration.

I prefer "BANG, BANG, BANG, Geddintoum"

Not quite as good as Dave Birch's joke on page 8 I'm afraid.

Oh yes. But they are now extinct in Rugby as someone kept nicking the eggs.

I think you'll find that it was a game of footy and some southern toff picked the ball up in a blatant disregard of the handball rule and ran the full length of the field with it. It was at Rugby school, thus inventing rugby. No, no, no. It's from British Bulldogs:- British Bulldogs is a game where two teams line up facing each other and take turns to crash through the opponent’s line. It was hugely popular in English public schools where smaller boys would be forced to take part against their will allowing the bigger boys to beat them up under the watchful gaze of the schoolmasters. One such small boy, William Webb Ellis, decided to get his own back one day having found a cluster of ostrich eggs in the playing fields of Rugby school. With the egg tucked firmly under his arm he ran fearlessly at the school bully intending to smash it in his face. Unfortunately Ellis tripped at the vital moment as he TRYed to retrieve the egg from under his arm. He fell to the ground and his teammates tripped over him. The line of bigger boys then piled in, jumping on top, kicking and punching. The egg rolled loose and was picked up by the slowest and weediest of the smaller boys (little Johnny W). Fearing the big boys would notice and go after him he dropped it and kicked it over the school wall in one swift movement… …and rugby was born

I presume this is the answer to Blueboy's question on page 3 and not to the question "Which was your favourite toy as a child?"

wishful a little eh? Yeah, come on Nelly. Be realistic! "Cheer the lads on to a valiant score draw after we have wiped the floor with the aussies" you mean.

IT'S NOT "FOOTBALL" !!! If it's not a "form of football", what would you say it is then Tris? (too open a question I know. I'm wincing in anticipation) It's a form of British Bulldogs.