That's it then. We've no chance now. Not if his mum wants to sign him. Souey should have got in there earlier!

I was wondering that. It's not as if Souey will have to speak Norwegian in order to sign the guy!! ...He can just shout "I'LL....HAVE....ONE....OF....THOSE....PLEASE!" and point at Pedersen. That tactic has never let me down... oh except when I wanted a pint of lager in Portugal and got a very greasy omelette. That was disappointing.

...so we don't bother.

He's rowing on the Tyne!? At his age!?

Yes Sir Flemming you are quite right. I awoke early one Sunday morning to see it on Trans World Sport - I thought I was dreaming BobF drinking was on Trans World Sport!!? It's about time drinking got some recognition as a competitive sport. Well done BobF!

No. I wasn't thinking quite that tall. He was stood next to BobF for a while just after the emergency evacuation prank.

A very enjoyable night. Great to meet Tom, Den, Paul, Rev, BobF (I expected him to be younger and have more hair), that tall bloke with the glasses (who was that!?) and many others. It was a very good day - just a shame that that ridiculous football match got in the way. My headache's nearly gone now too.

Rovers 2 - 1 Brum (Morisson, Cole, Airy Kewell(pen)) Probably concede an early goal in keeping with tradition this season and go in trailing 1-0 at half time. In the second half Emerton beats three players in quick succession down the right flank before playing a beautiful cross into the box for Cole to power an unstoppable headed equalizer. In injury time, Rovers are awarded a controversial penalty as an inflatable kangaroo goes down in the box. Bambi is sent off for stamping on him. Our regular penalty taker, whoever that is - possibly the inflatable kangaroo, converts the spot-kick and everyone troops off happily to the Blues Bar... ...to meet up with us Riversiders who are already on our third pint.

For the record, Scotty looks exactly like his avatar Hey! I was keeping that quiet!! The place will be definitely not be swarming with attractive young women now - I'll be able to get to the bar!!

Hey! I was keeping that quiet!! The place will be swarming with attractive young women now - I'll not be able to get to the bar!!

Sounds like Molly Malone... She wheeled her wheelbarrow, Through Streets broad and narrow, Singing "Cockles and Mussels alive alive-O"

Unless they get that guy with the Tron costume.... ....SuperStella was it?.... ....I reckon he could do a job in football management - and he could design them a snazzy kit too.

Jordan, what colour is your sword?

Is that an inflatable pink sword in your pocket.... (Can't believe you missed that one out Sox) Yes, well, I didn't know what colour it was! I haven't seen it.

Could be a lot of explaining for Jordan to do if he gets frisked... Is that an inflatable pink guitar in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Is that an inflatable caveman's club in your pocket or....? Is that an inflatable pink pig in your pocket or...? It will be half-time before he gets in.

I can't go to Spurs but I don't want to be left out of the whole inflatables thing. So I've arranged for a hi-tec inflatable Scotty, with authentic hangover noises, to be put on the 08:47 from Manchester Piccadilly. Can someone please wake it up in London and put a beer in front of it? You'll be amazed at what happens.

You're thinking of the "Red Light District" I think...

Oh quality stuff indeed! The Authentic Blue Boy Strip is lovely, would rather we kept to Blue and white halves but I suppose the matching boots more than make up for it. Come on folks lets get buying HERE Excellent. With 5 Elephant shaped latex balloons, you won't look quite so camp if you're the only one dressed as "Effin Christmas in Florida" Bob.

hmmm. So there would be a sort of continuous ripple effect front to back? A variation on the Mexican Wave. We can call it the Fleming Bob...?

I think the bouncy castle is a non starter. Someone's going to have to blow it up for a start. Then everytime you bounce, you're sure to block someone's view. **Boing** "SIT DOWN!" **Boing** "SIT DOWN!!" **Boing** "SIT DOWN!!!"

Eat the chocolate first though... Then carefully put the wrapper back into shape. Then throw it at a steward... Then apologise to the bloke three seats away from you when it blows back and hits him in the eye. Or what about taking inflatables?

And double their wages!!? Are you mad!?

I have to say I'm not sure Rivaldo will set the Premiership alight next season but it makes for exciting times at the Reebok and might persuade some of the supporters, who vowed never to go again following the cup final ticket fiasco, to reconsider. I feel a tinge of jealousy about the whole thing. I can't for the life of me see what Barry Fry's fly-away harido has got to do with it though Billy!!

Looking at that schedule, it's unfair on the Tiger. Firstly it has an away match against the lion and then almost straight after it's at home against the Grizzly Bear!!