bob fleming

It wouldn't surprise me.

Sox - I'm not being funny but that isn't a real shark. It's very clever, I'll give you that, and I nearly missed it myself but if you look closely you can see that that shark is actually suspended in an office building. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's been painted as well. You've been conned mate. I'm going to need more and better evidence than that if you want me to move the Tigershark from bottom of the Hard Animal List. Tom - I don't give two hoots about your coot. I'm sticking with the Mallard as it's also a train - and they're dead hard (Unless it's called Ivor - in which case it's softer than the office dwelling, lady boy, "animal" that is the Tigershark).

Good - because I'm going mad with all these different animal combinations and it's far too complex for my head to compute. I thought I had it sorted and then The Blunderer has to mention a Bear and Bull kick off from The Colleseum in Little Harwood. Tom - I need the answers. As things stand I'd probably say that the following are the hardest - hardest appearing first: Shark (Great White, hungry) Sharktiger (?) The Duck (Well hard Mallard flavour) Bear (Grizzly/cuddly) Tiger (Stripey) Bull (Horned) Swan (Vesta) Goose (Mad) Tigershark (Soggy, dead soft and a bit pathetic) But I may be wrong. All we need now is for rover6 or someone to come on here and say that all 9 of them are dead soft but Paul Sturrock would toughen them up a bit and then set them on Souness, whose fault it is for this whole thread anyway. Probably.

I think we've established that Geese are harder than Swans (sorry Morph) but since yesterday I've been thinking about this big style. What if these animals joined forces to create their own animal "super firm"? Who'd come out on top between a Goose, Tiger & Tigershark vs Swan, Shark, Sharktiger & Duck fight? No weapons or owt - just a normal pre arranged kick off at a local boozer near the town centre. I tell you, I'm not one for violence but this would be something else. And please don't tell me that the Swan, Shark, Sharktiger & Duck combo would win, because of numbers, because by all accounts the duck spends most of its time going to the toliet when brought indoors, and that's of little help when you've a 20 foot Tigershark going mental in the Red Lion (nowt to do with you this Lee - don't worry).

I'm up for that Tom - I know some would call it cruel but to be honest I have little time for either of the white feathered scum. I think we'd have to buy some different coloured vests or something though so we knew who was winning. Maybe we could use The Blues Bar? I'm sure they wouldn't mind. As for the tiger / shark thing. It's a tough one. Obviously you've got the problem of the shark not being right good in the jungle and the tiger being pretty poor in deep water. I'd be tempted to go with the shark though because of it's cool fin and big fists.

That's a great question LD Rover. I've never had a run in with any swans but when I was a lad I did get chased by a bunch of dead hard geese. I foolishly strayed onto their patch by mistake and before I knew what was happening four or five of the rascals took offence and started running at me, tooled up with feathers and stuff. Well even then I wasn't one for running and stood my ground. Sod that for a game of soldiers - beaks everywhere - and there stupid wings going ten to the dozen. I legged it before any of the blighters broke my arms, 'cos they're like that as well. I'm not joking it really was really quite frightening. So if you ask me, and I know we can't prove any of this, I'd have to say swans.

That Stuckenhead's Wilcox mate - he'll try anything for a game these days. Actually is that Wilcox sat on "Tiny"'s lap?

Looks like a good enterprising idea. I can only see it causing trouble though.... The closing stages of Leeds last home game of the season against Charlton needing a win to stay up. It's 0-0. A huge clearance by Robinson is flicked on by Viduka neatly into the path of Alan Smith. A perfect first touch takes him clear of the defence. Surely only Dean Kiely can stop him now. This is it, Leeds are saved! Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Smith is tackled by Beryl Higginbottam (86) of Lowfields Road, Leeds - making her way home across the pitch with her shopping trolley filled with a loaf of bread, two pints of milk and a box of Complan. During the ensuing melee, the final whistle blows. Leeds are relegated. Smith is later charged by police after the box of Complan he threw explodes on impact with a teenage girls head causing severe matting of her hair. David Batty needs hospital treatment for abrasions consistent with walking-stick prodding and Mrs Higginbottam wins a 4 year contract to play in central defence. Nice one Sox However, what the new plan of Elland Road, as posted by Glenn, doesn't show, is that they'll be a subway built under the pitch. Beryl with have no need to walk on the pitch - or maybe she will? Within two weeks of the new ground being finished the subway becomes inhabited by buskers, glue sniffers, tramps and quite frankly begins to smell like a toilet. (A bit like Turf Moor now come to think of it). So maybe "Tiny" Higginbottam will be turning out for the "Bloodless Rose" next year - aged 87. And good luck to her too I say.

Nice one philipl (again). He swore!! It wouldn't happen on here.

Sorry it's this LSD.

Scotty - I agree a Davies and Cole partnership would be ideal - that's why I'm disappointed with the McBride thing - he sounded ideal. Cole & Yorke together, for me, is a complete nightmare. You know what you're going to get - and it ain't much variety. "Ball into feet please" or "Ball just behind the defence please thank you please" - otherwise they ain't bothered. They're better when they they don't play together - if you see what I mean. I'd be more than happy if Yorke (or Cole, believe it or not) was to leave in this window and we could replace with a "worker" of a CF.

hmm, agree up to a point, although obviously replacing Duff is a non-starter. And if Rovers ever do employ another player to beat the opposing right back and get a cross in, Souness would do well never to play him for more than 45 minutes at Ewood - the 45 we attack the Blackburn End. The first time on his debut he doesn't produce what Duff used to the Riverside will be awash with murmours of discontent, the second time they'll want the poor guy slung out of the club. Ah yes! - But it didn't stop Wilcox though did it? (Although they did try). All you need is someone who is as stubborn as a mule (i.e. a "handbag") or as thick as pig **** or someone with immense skill. My money's on one of the first two. Agree with FLB (can't agree with rover6 - doesn't feel right) we should at least try and get a left winger in. You know, stretch the game a bit, make the defence work, create space, add balance, and get crosses in, that sort of thing. Who knows the "wingers" (sorry, I know we don't say that word anymore) may even drop back in and provide cover for the defence. How bizarre.

I was one of those who thought GS should reduce his Sky commitments whilst we were struggling and to be fair I was recently thinking it's quite noticeable he has done so. (Unless I've missed him every time he's been on.) To be honest I don't think it matters. At least he gets to see other teams in a scouting capacity, which can't do us any harm whatsoever. He'll also be able to decide which players we should be looking to sign and then, subsequently, miss out on. Oooohh - get her!!

Good grief no!! They'd have him carted away...

Just out of interest what do they do in training?

We all have low periods at work and know what helps us get through them. I was just thinking how on earth do you gee yourself up as a football manager? Why you just have a look at your Paycheck, smile and say gee up I'm on a doddle here. You could also say to yourself - "Well they could always sack me - but they'd have to pay my contract up - and then I could go and work for Sky full time - I'd be quids in" - if you really wanted, that might cheer some managers up, but maybe not Souness.

They've found the kitten. Alan Smith had it. They've also found the third Krugeraand twin. Which is nice. As Rev has said - hopefully someone will buy half of Leeds team in the next week or so - thus more or less condemning them to relegation. Harsh but ultimately necessary in our current predicament.

He's just being nosey. Typical of the man. Keep away Graham, it's none of your business.

rover6 - I really do get the impression that you're enjoying all this. I noticed that you've also changed the messages at the bottom of you posts - a really nice touch. Blackburn Rovers are really struggling this season, please try and show that you care because at the moment you appear to be drawing more satisfaction from our predicament than your average burnley fan.

Now that would be something! Get them down KGH!! Currently listening to popular rock group Ash. Their Intergalactic Sonic 7's CD. Picked it up for £6.99 from HMV. You could do a lot worse you know.

Couldn't agree more. George Best and Bizarro were quality and Anyone Can Make A Mistake is one of my favourite all time songs. Went to see them 10 times in the late 80's and they were 1 hour of pure energy and noise, mixed with David Gedge's unique humour. No encores and off home. When asked why he didn't do encores he used to say, 'if Fanny Craddock made a beautiful tasting cake would you ask her to make you another?'. Totally profound. The Wedding Present were, in my own humble opinion, one of this countries finest and most underrated bands. Despite their bad press I bought every album and love them all. George Best and Bizarro are their finest moments though I have to agree. Only saw them the once - in Carlisle of all places. Tremendous stuff. Wonder where Dave Gedge is these days?

I know that The Fernhurst is - but that's not the same really. That might help you though.

I blame Souness.

He doesn't even play the guitar Maybe that's where it's all going wrong - if Souness and Co. are sat round creating riffs and having a jamming session then it's no wonder we're in this sorry state. Less Jimmy Page and more Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink please otherwise we're on the highway to hell.

I don't want to tread on anybody's toes but how's about a poll on whether we should have a poll?