Get real. A despised enemy has been defeated. Today was better than VE Day.

Victory parade in Trafalgar Square at the moment. Wonderful sight.

Fantastic, nervous last day at the Oval, a real privilege to be there. "Warney's dropped the Ashes" was the best chant but "Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio" to the departing sheep worriers was sweet. Hope they had a miserable journey home. The baritone singing Rule Britannia, Land of Hope and Glory and Jerusalem at the tea interval was very moving. Made one proud to be English. This young England team is nowhere near the finished article and will get better. The fast bowlers are the best quartet since the West Indies of the 1980s and although Ian Bell has struggled he's a class batsman and will be better for the experience. Ed Joyce of Middlesex is the next batter earmarked for promotion. 2-1 did not reflect England's superiority over a fading, ageing team. England will win the next Ashes series 4-0.

Poor decision by Bowden: Giles took a big stride and was clearly not out. Why is an Antipodean umpiring anyway ? they're all thick as thieves (literally in most cases).

Weather will be OK for the weekend. It never rains when England need it !

Tut, tut Scotty. Get back in your box.

I didn't say Marsh hadn't achieved anything but by general consensus Fletcher has been the catalyst for England's resurgence. Don't know what Lillee has got to with anything apart from being a boor.

The man who has turned around the fortunes of the England team over the past five years is Duncan Fletcher. Marsh's contract is ending soon and many are glad to see the back of him. The umpiring in the series has been very good. A few decisions have gone England's way but that makes a very rare change.

On that evidence, Eriksson has "lost" the dressing room. The players obviously do not want to play for him. Forget the World Cup: England have a lame duck manager.

Idiotic. Recognised by whom ? Not anyone in this country, who generally regard Australians as boors. And what is the highest level ? Government ? The bloke upstairs ? The greatest team in all sports ? Odd then that you're crap at football, THE world game. You are good at two things though: whingeing and losing badly. Masters of the art in fact.

This is marvellous. Very pleasing to see after some time away that the tone of the board has been raised by the presence of a "university" graduate. There is nothing more stimulating than a good intellectual debate.

1981 was better than this year because of the heroics of one Ian Botham, the best white cricketer I have seen. Neither are as good as the 1953 series though.

Football sickness - too much on television.

In my opinion, the over-exposure of football (the Champions League in particular) is on television, which (unless it is Rovers) I cannot be bothered to watch any more.

Williams admitted a few years ago that he had no idea how to reverse the decline in attendances (which sadly seems to be accelerating) so do not expect any initiatives now. Rather than be castigated, stay-away Rovers supporters should be congratulated for their judgment. The country is sick and tired of an over-hyped, over-exposed sport played by grossly overpaid average players.

No.

Oh dear. Nothing trivial for Lee one hopes. These Australian chaps aren't very durable are they ?

Excellent ploy by England to give the convicts a glimpse of victory and then snatch it away from them. No doubt Vaughan planned it all along. Very funny to see the faces of Kasprowicz and Lee at the end. Most amusing television moment since the head rock cruncher handed over the rugby World Cup to England.

Good weather forecast for tomorrow. Another rubbish batting performance by England today. The light-fingered brigade will spend dig in for two and a half days and quietly compile 600 plus, leaving England to try to survive four sessions. Trescothick should have made a big hundred and Vaughan and Strauss should be sent to the Tower for the shots they got out to. The only hope for England is that the soft pitch deteriorates (groundsman Steve Rouse says it is already pitted after the soaking it received last week and expects it to misbehave as the game progresses). The good news is that McGrath is injured. Nothing trivial hopefully. Couldn't have happened to a nicer chap.

Are you sure ? There were a reported 42,000 on Ewood for the Manchester City FA Cup replay in 1969 and the ground was full to bursting .... frighteningly so on the Riverside where the crowd swayed back and forth because of the crush of spectators. I dread to think what would have happened if one of the barriers had given way.

With the enemy at the door, now is the time to rally the troops, as Wellington might have said. Tomorrow morning, ten minutes before the start of battle, I shall be leading a sing-song at Oakside Nursing Home with a witty ditty written and produced by the glorious Barmy Army. I shall even wear my best set for the occasion. It is entitled Convict Colony, and should be sung to the tune of the Beatles' "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine". In the town where I was born, there lived a man who was a thief, And who told me of his life, stealing bread and shagging sheep, So they put him in the nick, and then a magistrate he went to see, Who said ’Put him on the ship to the convict colony.’ Chorus: You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony; you all alive in a convict colony, a convict colony...... repeat As an alternative, there is a tribute to the philandering drug addict, Shane Warne, which should be sung to the tune of Tony Christie’s "Amarillo". Show me the way to Shane Warne’s villa, He’s got his pills under his pilla, A dodgy bookie from Manila, Nurse is on her mobile phone. Happy days.

Good spot. Cole's 37 goals over two and a half years at Ewood cost about £263,000 each, still a princely sum. The salary figures are all correct.

I would like to have seen Andrew Cole in a Rovers shirt again but perhaps he has taken enough money out of the club. In his three and a half years at Ewood, Cole earned a whopping £73,000 a week and scored 37 goals, making each goal worth roughly a staggering £366,000. In his 12 months at Fulham, Cole earned £40,000 a week and scored 13 goals, at a cost of about £160,000 per goal. Manchester City are paying Cole £25,000 a week. I hope they get better value out of him than we did.

Correct, unfortunately. The stupid ECB, in its quest to make as much money as possible with a grossly overloaded fixture list and meaningless one-day tournaments, have played right into the hands of the enemy.

Titus Bramble broke an elbow in training today, putting him out for three months and leaving Newcastle desperately short of centre halves after the sale of O'Brien and Hughes. Souness admires Amoruso, so here's Rovers chance to offload the overweight tub of lard on our hapless former manager.