Eddie Johnson did look more than useful. Oneywo also looked impressive too, especially in the air. Does he always play with that expression of boredom/mild irritation on his face?! We used to hear a lot about Damarcus Beasley but even his move to Holland doesn't seem to have improved him much - or was that game a bad reflection of his talents? His positional play was awful.

Okay, I promise to not moan about the coverage again. However, I would just like to whizz you into the future. (AND yes, I know, sarcasm is truly the lowest form of wit)! MOTD's World Cup montage springs into action. As the intro runs, the stylized depiction of an extremely rare sight shocks the audience into silence - Steven Gerrard actually looking menacing in an England jersey. Having been momentarily shaken by this extraordinary concept, the eager viewers are reassured by an earnest looking Gary Linekar. Ian Wright, Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer are poised for action in their chairs. Gary: The knock-out stages are here and England's time has come. England face the surprise package from Group A, South Americans, Ecuador. Before the match we'll gauge the mood of the England camp with some mind-numbingly dull interviews with David Beckham, Joe Cole and Owen Hargreaves -. Wrighty: Awwww. Not Hargreaves. The bloke's having it on with Sven between training sessions. Gary: Er, ah, erm, yeah, so we'll hear how the England boys are getting on and Garth Crooks has been to speak to the Ecuador manager about all things Ecuadorian. Hansen: Ha ha ha. Gary: Why are you laughing? Hansen: Doesn't everyone laught at Garth Crooks? Gary: Oh yeah! Ha ha ha. Alan, I hear you have been suffering from a stiff back, may I massage it for you? (Alan decides that after the show might be a more pragmatic time, Gary returns to the football.) Gary: So will this be a cake-walk for England, Alan Shearer? Shearer: No. International games are never cake-walks. Apart from when you win 7-0, or when you play Saudi Arabia or the Solomon Islands when they have their star play suspended. You've got to take his goal as it comes. No complacency. Show the opposition respect but that doesn't mean you can't elbow them. At the end of the day, let bygones be bygones and too many cooks spoil the broth and you can't win it if you're not in. England are in it and we have world class players like Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard - world class players. Gary: Wrighty, our resident Ecuador expert (titters in the studio) can England overcome the South Americans? Wrighty: Ecuador are like minnows. England are like sharks. Sometimes the minnows eat the sharks - that's life. But it don't happen often - in fact we know England are gonna win cos we're just too strong. COME ON ENGLAND. COME ON RIO AND BECKS AND THE REST. Gary: (Suppressing a patronising grin) And Ecuador - no chance? Wrighty: Well we know Fidel Castro will expect nothing but a win from his boys. But not many teams from Africa do well in the World Cup. COME ON ENGLAND. COME ON BECKS. SVEN IS A NOB BUT WE LUV ENGLAND. Hansen: Wrighty's such a typical impartial pundit. (more exuberant titters). I think England are too strong, especially with Rooney back in the team. Rooney will be running again. Magnificent pace, power, acceleration, exposition, delivery, durability, accessibility, municipality. The Ecuadorians have that hardy spirit. You know, being reared in poverty with drug barons having pot shots at you every other minutes - they're bound to have strength, mental strength, physical strength, determination. But England will be too strong, by far. By the way Alan, (Hansen turns to Shearer) I thought what you said was absolutely fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Fantastically absolute. Shearer: (surprised) Thanks! Hansen: May I stroke your hair? (Shearer suggests a later date and a dispute arises as to how Gary can massage Alan's stiff back when Hansen is fondling Shearer's hair. But professionalism personified, Gary Linekar, pulls things together.) Gary: Yesterday, I visited Baden Baden to have a chat with England captain Dav - Wrighty: Hey Gary, I just realised something. Now we know why you got divorced. Gary: (Grins cheesily), because I keep visiting bad'uns? (Sycophantic titters). Wrighty: No, cos you like men, especially Alan Hansen. Gary: (Those jug-ears noticeably redder). Here's my interview with David Beckham. THE END.

As usual, your arrogance is making you blinkered. The only reason I've heard of Balague is because I used to listen to a fantastic talksport programme (those three words don't go together very often) called Talksport in Europe, in which Durham, Marcotti, Balague and others discussed European football in a very entertaining and informed way. Anyone else who listened to that show, which sadly fell by the way-side after a season, will agree with me. I totally agree with you that Marcel Desailly brightened up the show in the Ghana match coverage. Linekar and Hansen were forced to put their silly mirth to one side and actually discuss a game of football because Desailly was so opinionated. And Martin O'Neill was good value, as usual. Now imagine if Marcel Desailly (or for that matter, Leonardo) was actually more fluent in English. (He did a damn good job regardless). Just imagine what you'd have. You'd have a genuinely engrossing debate in a MOTD studio. I'm breaking out in a sweat at the thought. People like Balague, Marcotti etc (I keep mentioning them but they're the only ones I can think of at the moment) can speak good English AND are opinionated and knowledgeable on matters pertaining to foreign football, especially continental. You're apparent idea that all journalists are publicity-seeking is ridiculous and not worthy of a retort. And besides, I'd rather listen to an informed publicity-seeking joker than a Scottish joker who revels in stating the axiomatic in grandiloquent terms. I was so angry when I watched the coverage for the opening game, Germany v Costa Rica, when it became apparent that none of the pundits knew much about the German or Costa Rican teams and cared even less. Just disgraceful.

I did miss Leonardo but people like Hansen just get on my nerves. Next time he's on, think about every comment he makes and consider whether what he's going on about is self-evident or cliched. His one talent is to spout the obvious with a few vehemently spoken adjectives thrown in. 'Abysmal defending,' 'diabolical defending' blah blah blah. (Shearer does the same but minus the vehemence and the adjectives and uttered in a drone that surely spells the end for insomnia). If anyone's heard Gabrielle Marcotti or Adrian Durham (a shame they work for talksport) or Guillem Balague, you will know what a real pundit is - even if you don't agree with them all the time.

Unlucky Lathund. I dipped in and out of the match and in the snippets I saw, I couldn't work out Iran's formation. Karimi seemed to be playing to deep to do anything worthwile.

If you've been totally underwhelmed by the MOTD World Cup coverage, you might want to complain here.

I have been moaning about the BBC coverage in the World Cup forum and totally agree with Murray92. The very fact I am sitting down to watch a non-England game means I have some interest in teams other than England. Therefore, it would be more than helpful if some of the pundits knew something about the other teams - other than the basic stuff they've been spoon-fed by the BBC research team. I don't want to see smug, myopic, England supporting dunderheads making vague and desultory remarks on other nations before going on endlessly about their beloved nation. If anyone's listened to the FiveLive coverage, they are making a FAR BETTER fist of it. But that's not exactly hard. THe BBC should've hired articulate foreign journalists (fluent in English obviously) to provide some of the analysis, especially for non-England games.

Passing the ball around with something like conviction would be a nice start. I get the feeling that this gloriously talented midfield duo of Lampard and Gerrard will never work. I would kick out Lampard and bring in Carrick and hope that Gerrard starts putting in some Liverpool performances, with the shackles having been released.

Exactly. Those words from Hansen, Motson and Co were bordering insane. The England first half was reasonable against a dire Paraguay showing. However, how many slick passing moves were there? Most of the joy came from long balls to Crouch who was good both halves. The England neat build up was non-existent. But for Hansen to suggest that England were 'outstanding' in the first half was so ridiculous it was almost untrue. He just made that crap up to support his criticism of Sven's substitutions. England were average, first half, woeful second. It's day two and these so-called pundits are doing my head in with their nonsensical ramblings. BTW HOW damn awful was Gary Neville (even in that 'outstanding' first half). I'd guess that nearly 90% of his forward passes were misdirected. Just crap. And when will the 'Axis of Confusion' aka Lampard - Gerrard actually start working?

Don't want to take this moaning too far - but it's not hard is it? Just get some decent pundits in.

I wish the Beeb would get some entertaining pundits who know EUROPEAN football, rather than just British football. The BBC line-up was Hansen, O'Neill and Shearer. Hansen revelled in going into the gory details of dreadful defending, as usual, but is otherwise dreary. Shearer is as mundane a pundit as he was prolific a goalscorer. Martin O'Neill knew his stuff imo. There are entertaining pundits out there with good knowledge. If Talksport can get people like Gab Marcotti (dogmatic but knowledgeable), Guillem Balague (also on Sky), Xavier Revoire etc why can't the BBC get similar people with that kind of holistic knowledge?. If they are covering a game like Germany v Costa Rica, is it too much to ask for for ONE pundit to know the German team in some kind of detail? Do they really believe that the audience want to see and hear familiar faces/voices over genuinely articulate and intelligent comments? I don't know how many people agree with me but it is so annoying when the punditry insults the intelligence of its audience. Alan Shearer, after the match, had a feeble attempt at analysing Germany's attacking performance - "Schneider and some others were good." WTE. His most perceptive comment on the match was that the new ball makes things a lot harder for the goalkeepers - and Hansen wasn't much better. WHY? .....Grrrrrrrrr..

But their legacies will never die...! Will update my sig as a belated celebration.

Must have been too daunting a prospect for Mr Souness. Jordan is expecting instant success from his new boss despite having just sold their star player.

I still haven't tired of these gimmicks - yet!

Sure, they weren't performing but the set of players weren't shockingly bad compared to the team that Sam Allardyce worked with to get Bolton up that same year. Souey and Tigana had money for transfers and wages.

I can only imagine how horrible it must feel happening on the verge of such an important moment in any footballer's career. It might even affect the move that he was apparently set to make back to France. Cisse had some harsh words for Rovers fans but wouldn't it be nice if Rovers supporters could show them what we're really made off and send him a letter of support.

Nils Eric Johansson didn't make it into the squad? What a disgrace..... he could've solved any right back problem - albeit very badly, I wouldn't dismiss Trinidad and Tobago so easily. Ive seen a few interviews with their Dutch coach and he sounds like a man who knows what he's doing - and he did know what he was doing to help them qualify. Still thinking Sweden will win, though.

Excellent preview Bobby. I'm sure I read somewhere that the country almost ground to a halt because people were engrossed by Euro 2004 (okay that report might've been a slight exaggeration), so the interest for the World Cups must be just massive.

Of course not, why would Bruce want to leave that sleeping giant of a club? And sleeping might become comatose before long. Apparently, it's Zaccheroni that Palace are speaking to.

I don't bet, Rev, but I'll just have a go here for the fun of it. Poland V Ecuador 2/1 09/06 WIN POLAND Holland 8/11 v Serbia and Montenegro 7/2 11/06 DRAW Australia 5/4 v Japan 7/4 12/06 WIN AUS Czech Rep 4/5 v USA 3/1 12/06 WIN CZECH Korea 10/11 v Togo 12/5 13/06 WIN KOREA France 8/11 v Switzerland 4/1 13/06 DRAW Get those first 6 right to win at least 20 quid Spain 4/5 v Ukraine 3/1 14/06 WIN SPAIN Tunisia 10/11 v Saudi Arabia 5/2 14/06 WIN TUNISIA Ecuador 11/10 v Costa Rica 2/1 15/06 WIN ECAUDOR Sweden 4/5 v Paraguay 3/1 15/06 WIN SWEDEN Holland 4/6 v Ivory Coast 7/2 16/06 WIN IVORY COAST Czech Rep 4/6 v Ghana 12/5 17/06 WIN CZECH Get those first 12 right to win at least 1000 quid Croatia 8/11 v Japan 10/3 18/06 WIN CROATIA Poland 4/5 v Costa Rica 11/4 20/06 DRAW England 5/6 v Sweden 11/4 20/06 DRAW Iran 5/4 v Angola 7/4 21/06 WIN ANGOLA Portugal 11/10 v Mexico 2/1 21/06 WIN PORTUGAl Ivory Coast 5/4 v Serbia 6/4 21/06 WIN S&M Get those first 18 right to win at least 20,000 quid Argentina 5/4 v Holland 15/8 21/06 WIN ARGIES USA 11/10 v Ghana 2/1 22/06 WIN USA Italy 11/10 v Czech Republic 2/1 22/06 DRAW Croatia 5/6 v Australia 11/4 22/06 WIN AUSSIES Ukraine 8/11 v Tunisia 3/1 23/06 WIN UKRAINE Switzerland v Korea 9/4 23/06 DRAW

this thread should be re-named Insult Dictionary...

The theory I've heard is that because Crouch has always been so much taller than his peers, he has never really had to jump to win headers, therefore his back muscles have not developed. I've been very impressed. Technically, he has always been good but he has definitely improved at Benitez and he has scored more headers. He's high on confidence, which can only be good for England. He has been mocked by all and sundry but just think how much of an improvement he is on Emile Heskey.

Spuds - Tottenham Hotspurs - also see: deluded

My personal view is that a player like Duff would've emerged as a great talent regardless of the manager. However, it's all hypothetical. I think it'd be good to see Souey at Palace, so that this debate of whether he is a good manager can finally put to bed. Having not impressed at Liverpool, Southampton (brief spell), Benfica, under-performed at Gala despite winning a cup and overseen things go horribly pear-shaped at Rovers, I'm surprised there is still a debate. There is no doubt that he did many good things for us and was successful at Rangers but I am surprised that any chairman would still see Souness as a manager that can take them places long-term. You can imagine him going into Palace, a team of low-profile players and winning their respect immediately simply by virtue of his reputation and profile. It didn't work with Newcastle because their famous players were hardly going to awed by Graeme Souness. However, whether a Souey-driven Palace make an impressive start, it will surely all end in tears. (That's the fans tears, not Souness who will be financially ready for retirement because one more managerial cock-up and even his name won't seduce chairmen).

BillC, I must correct you there. Lady Luck (láydi luk) n. :- A condition which causes the brain to believe that the absence of a female member of the aristocracy was the sole cause of a failure. Sufferers often repeat the phrase "Lady Luck was not with us." Notlob (not lob) n. : - The hugely offensive written nickname for local rivals Bolton Wanderers FC. Rarely spoken.