I wouldn't have thought you were adverse to a bit of out of wedlock breeding down in t'valley.

you dont have the brain power to humiliate me fool. You haven't been on here long have you?

Deary me that sounds desperate.

In yesterday's Observer Bob Nicholson from Frodsham, Cheshire wrote: Now that last bit is absolute comedic gold. Better though was the fantastic letter above this: David Ainslie, Blackburn.

Our version of that type of place is The Limelight. It's a really excellent club that plays proper music, none of this pop, R'n'B, punk sh*te. Attached is a great bar called Katy Daly's. Unfortunately a new section was opened. Converted from the next door garage, the Spring and Airbrake is a big barn of a place that plays a mixture of ironic, novelty and middle of the road rubbish. I haven't bought it at all. The prices have gone up due to this horrendous new addition. The place does though attract the best looking women/female students in the city (IMHO) instead of the slappers you'll find at the various stripey collars, drain-pipe jeans clubs dotted around Belfast.

Did anyone see the sniffy Dingle letter on the back page of yesterday's Observer? I'll copy it out when I get home, it really is an absolute cracker.

Wrong thread.

Liverpool are winning 2-0. Garcia, Riise Right. Well my crystal ball must be broken. Or your anti-English stance backfired? It's hardly an 'anti-English stance'. I don't understand people who support English teams in Europe for the sake of it. I'd like to see Arsenal do well, but they're consistently rubbish in the big European games. Liverpool are have a terrible season, it's a reasonable assumption to make. Chelsea did lose to a very good Barca team and much to my joy, United went down to a goalkeeping blunder. Three out of four doesn't exactly constitute a back-firing in my predictions.

Alex Ferguson Roy Keane Fernando Ricksen Steve Bruce Neil Warnock

Liverpool are winning 2-0. Garcia, Riise Right. Well my crystal ball must be broken.

Milan may be missing Shevchenko (for the first game at least) but they are a superior side to their criminally overrated United counterparts. Arsenal will lose as always, Chelsea will go out to the eventual winners and Liverpool are so bad at the moment that Leverkusen will have little difficulty disposing of them.

I didn't quote a post immediately above my own.

Fantastic. How true it is I don't know, but it's f***in' hilarious. Mods, put this in Messageboard Gold. Please.

could have been worse I guess - he could have been throwing coins. Somehow I doubt it.

Burnley really had us under the cosh. Thank God one of their fans decided to break up the momentum. Typical. At least now we'll be able to play them on a proper pitch.

The state of the pitch is shocking. I don't imagine there are many connoisseurs of the beautiful game in Burnley.

In the story about the game in today's Observer, the sports editor of the Burnley Express (appropriate name) claims that we have adopted United as our local rivals: "as if anyone in Manchester gives a toss about Blackburn." What a [edited]. I hope we give them a hammering.

You might want to restructure that sentence if you want it to be taken seriously/understood... Anyway, let's not have this spiral off into a raging Old Firm debate. Please. I could talk all day about the subject but that's not what the topic relates to. Right Flopsy?

At least they've got their priorities straight...

Much like groups such as J5 and Dilated Peoples.

'The Sash.' It's a tune performed here on the 12th of July. It's mainly played by tattoed, skin-headed, 'kick the Pope' bands, many of whom have the word 'Rangers' incorporated into the name of their little group. As for the religious thing, that is particular to the Glasgow derby. Politics, class and sheer sporting rivalry all play a part in places like Buenos Aires, Rome and Liverpool

I agree with you on that. We must not lose. It's that simple.

I disagree. Surely the intensity (the central point of any derby game) is the thing that makes it so special? Yes the football may not be up to scratch, and certain reasons for the rivalry are distasteful, but the occasion and historical significance are second to none. These are the things that make derbies the games the are. The claim that Sunday's cup tie (hardly a clash between footballing contemporaries) is bigger than the Old Firm game is slightly misguided.

Pete McCarthy was a classmate and friend of my mum's at Leicester Uni (he was Robinson then) back in the, erm...whenever my mum went to university. Unfortunately he died a couple of months ago. It came as a great shock, apparently he had been ill for a long time. It was reported in the Guardian's obituaries if I remember correctly. I agree, both of his books are hilarious reads. The lurching from bizarre episode to the next was probably embellished, yet it's damn funny.

Barca v Real isn't a derby you nin whit. Actually in a sense it is, at least in France you can have such a thing. You can have a local derby ie Blackburn Burnley Then you can also have a derby that is simply a match with a lot of tradition and history behind it where the clubs have become intense rivals ie Arsenal Manchester United I don't know if in English you can have the same thing, this is odd as I'm a native English speaker, just expressing an opinion really. What about the Breton derby (although Nantes isn't technically in Brittany any more)?