Does the warranty cover accidental insertion into Professor Reg Holdsworth's bumhole? "Could I have my toast back please Professor? It was that naughty Alan Smiff that did it! Squeeze your bum cheeks together and see if you can get a round out."

if getting relegated will cost us 20 mill, could we not buy teh Leeds team for 15 mill, ensure they get relegated and make ourselves 5 mill?

Oh no, just had a terrible thought. What with the budget cutbacks, the chef's cooking might have suffered. Leave the kitten alone Mr Chef!

Latest news from Leeds is that they've lost the remote control for a JVC Home Cinema surround TV Dolby pro-logic system (installed in the canteen), some Krugeraands and a small kitten. If anyone has a spare remote could they please send it on.

"Garry Flitcroft and 500K for your biscuit tin, that old rumpled suit and the secretary's underwear Professor." There could also be a case for keeping a vigil underneath their office windows.

They're so French Connectioned-careless over there, they deserve everything they get. Prof Reg Holdsworth: "Say Thelma, did you see that 3 million quid I left on the side-board this morning." Thelma: "Well funny you should say that Reg, because I do remember seeing it this morning, it was sat next to the goldfish. Can you remember where you had it last?" Prof Reg: "Hmmmm ... I seem to remember having a crap and wiping my butt with a couple of spare fifties, but other than that, I can't think" Thelma: "You've gone and lost it, haven't you? You French Connection-wit!" Honestly, it's madness at Elland Road. I dread to think how much of their problem is simply down to mislaying cash. A simple bit of cash management and it could all have been avoided.

Wokka wokka!

Cor, it's like watching an edition of the Money Programme, this, only more interesting.

Yeah, leave well alone Hughesy, you'd more likely than not be kissing your dosh goodbye.

City would never have paid the 4 mill Leeds are allegedly looking for. They have money problems of their own.

Probably - don't ask me! I may have unintentionally given the impression before that I knew something about finance by putting some trendy words in there. What Green could hope to get back by sticking some money I wouldn't know. He's so rich maybe it's just a bit of money to play around with.

Yeah, that's more or less it, Green was going to be one of Leighton's backers.

From what I read, Green wasn't going to put money in as a principle shareholder, but was rather going to lend money to Leighton to leverage his purchase. From a purely mercenary point of view, I want Leeds to go into administration and get 10 points docked. Wolves have had it, and in the scenario above Leeds would almost certainly have had it, meaning that there was only one place to play for (or should I say, avoid). Dog eat dog in the current financial climate!

Get the Tea Cake boy in. He could bring in 25 new signings on tuppence happenny and bring a refreshing windswept haircut into the dressing room. The half-time biscuity jam and marshmellow half-time confections shouldn't be discounted either. Although the prancing up the touchline to Bonnie Tyler is a different matter. When is a blip a malaise? Weren't we getting very similar comments on here two years ago before Andy Cole saved our hides?

Just to clarify, Roy's story was that it was a transfer "by committee": him, Jack Walker and John Williams. But in saying that, when he went on to justify it further, he more or less blamed Jack!

hmm, but possibly only in the 10 minutes before he left for Newcastle, when all else had failed. I don't have Charles Lambert's book to hand, but I think it was the night before, at either Shearer or Walker's house. And Jack did (allegedly) persuade him. But KK came calling the day after and his mind was made up. If I was in his shoes, I would've left as well, to be honest.

Just a personal view but I feel he'd be good management material, a view apparently shared by Jack Walker who offered him a long term player manager role before he left for Newcastle. Hell's bells, are you serious?! Have you observed his managerial attributes at close hand? We gave Howard Kendall a job because we were skint. What we need now is not a new manager but a new benefactor.

And yu could do that over Souness's head, could you?

Poor old Houllie chops! Tee hee!

That's very deep.

All administration means is that an accountant is sent in to maximise club assets and stop money pi$$ing out of the door. In return, the interests on the debts is frozen. Once the company comes out of administration hopefully cash management at the club is much better, and the creditors have a chance of getting their dosh back. No debts are written off, that only happens in a bankruptcy I think. Having said that, whatever stunt Leicester pulled to get out of the cr@p was a good one, because I don't remember any winding-up orders.

I do like Boeuf and Onion flavour. But I draw the line at ar$ey French Onion & sour grapes flavour.

If you look at all of Houli-hoops quotes in the press in the last couple of seasons, Liverpool must've turned a dozen corners and got over 3 or 4 watersheds. He's crap. I don't like him.

Not only do the Leeds board come out of this badly, but what the hell were the companies that lent to them thinking of? I can't see them getting more than 10% of their money back. If I was lending money and a club came to me saying: "we have a novice manager who will get us into the Champions' League for X years running. We need big finance to get into the Champs League so that we can get big money, all of which will pay off the big finance. Our repayments are dependent upon our novice manager not screwing up with the 100 million." I'd tell them to take a running jump.

They'll probably "do a Leicester" and go bust then start up again with a clean slate and get promoted back to the Prem. Which is bad.