Should be "Bread Griddle".

Poor Andy, I can imagine he's feeling a bit low now! "Sheryl, Orrible Souness didn't mention me when he welcomed Dickov to Ewood! Not fair, not fair!" "Don't worry love. You look after the kids while I go shopping on your gold card. I'll be back in 6 hours. By the way, you look so cute stomping up and down with your hands on your hips. See ya!"

How should Souness have welcomed Dickov then? "He'll be a good role model for G & S, but not as good as Andy. He should get a few goals, but of course, not as good as Andy, who'll score more. He's got a good attitude on him, but not as good as Andy of course, whom I've always admired and who I desperately want to stay." I mean it's laughable.

How dare you make a perfectly reasonable point in response to Simon's slagging of Souness, I mean how dare you Bob?! A throwaway remark about a new signing that doesn't mention the Premiership's second highest goalscorer and foremost hands-on-hipster is a clear snub that says: "Andy, there's the door. See if you can hit from from 2 yards. Now try again. Now try opening it." I knwo you normally live on the ragged edge of existence, doing the undoable, and generally being a maverick in the style of Magnum PI, but Bob, you've gone too far this time!

TDI looks like a hatchet man! Ouch.

We're a club of indeterminate size* who've just signed a small player. * how do you measure a club? Distance of the chief execs office from the door? Are Citeh "massive" because they have maassive debts?

Ooops. Yeah I realised that afterwards, but couldn't be bothered editing. I didn't mean that nobody can argue with Souness being given a chance, I meant that nobody can argue that we need to do better this season. As for Waggy thinking our Graeme should be sacked, tell us something we don't know! :-))

I'm not sure I understand. You're disagreeing with the idea that we must show an improvement next year? You actually want us to be worse?!

I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with that!

You a Rovers fan whatever? A Celtic fan whatever? A royal pain in the harris whatever!

I think Jan gets a pay-off from Glenn and Ste for making incendiary remarks which generate increased web traffic!

Doesn't make sense to me. "If my Aunt was a man, then my Uncle would be a big bender." is surely more accurate?

I thought it was: "Bar Rumba Fancy Cocktail Suppers"?

Bob: you're a crazy man! You are a crazy man man man man!

and i'll give you a million if dikov scores 30 goals next season. Can I have 500K if he scores 15?

There's a name to get people queueing up at the turnstiles! So on the assumption that Yorke is going that would leave Jansen (short of confidence), Cole (still class, experienced), Gallagher (still young and learning), Stead (had a great first season, can he repeat?) and then Ashton. I'm assuming Ashton is young and inexperienced ... would that leave our forward line woefully short of experience?

Oh come on, when are you going to give this up! We can't afford to carry passengers. Who had the better season last year, Yorke or Dickov? And no, it's not about playing to the crowd by chasing lost causes, it's about having some god damn application, rather than living off past glories. Were you moaning when we got Brad on a free that it harked back to the Ashley Ward days? Sheesh.

The close-season is just days old, and already the snipers are out! Welcome to Ewood, Paul! After being held in a Spanish jail, keeping the bar-room critics off your back should be a breeze!

They were hinting in the Mail that Duff will struggle to get in the team once Mourinho brings his targets in.

I really don't think Beckham will be in a Chelsea shirt any time soon. He's staying in Madrid as far as I know. Definition of profligacy - 5 goalies in your squad - good grief!

Well, they've sacked him now. Nice to see they listened to the fans! I think Ranieiri is in line for a 6 mill pay-off (he was contracted until 07).

We all know how that feels, don't we boys and girls? Although there's not the same antipathy at Ewood for Chelski as there is at Elland Road for United.

Tell me you're kidding? If you thought Grabbi was bad, then that's nothing on the shower of crud that Hoolahoop has bought. He can stay at Liverpool as far as I'm concerned!

Highly-strung, n'est pas?

Maybe I was mistaken about Dunny being an overweight porker ... turns out it's that degree in footballology again, I really need to take it because it's showing me up! Cheers for being a good sport Dunn.