Advocaat Smirnoff Midori

Maybe Stroppy meant Hang Gliders?

Reminds me of that African Pesident Canaan Banana. It was a capital offence to laugh at the mention of his name. He was "having relations" with his bodyguard, who became known as "Mrs Banana". Straight up.

Ah yes, the man renowned for delivering results under a tight budget and absolutely not getting teh hump when the purse strings are tightened, Kenny; along with that renowned assistant manager Tim Sherwood. The only sensible suggestion there is Alan Irvine. Do people actually give their suggestions serious thought or do they just plump for favourite ex-players and managers. Gordon Bennett. That Houllier hitlist Percy posted earlier was scary. Houllier could genuinely knacker this club. I'd rather have Peter Reid and that is saying something.

Now compare that to the way Newcastle went about hiring Souness. I think it's clear which club is better run, by a massive distance. Cheyrou - ouch! Any more for any more?

Reasons not to sign Houli-hoop: - Jimmy Traore - Letting Brad go on a free then hiring a string of no-hopers as 'keepers. - Igor Pisscan - Salif Diao - Baros - Diouf ... there must be loads more 'cos he signed a string of right donkeys!

Well, I'm glad you agree about Shearer. Re: Newell, he has no pedigree as a coach, none whatsoever. He's only ever been a manager. Sooooo ... a) How do you now he'll happily become someone's number 2, watching them make the decisions, when he'd wanted that job all along? How do you know that he'd be a good coach of players? He's never coached before, presumably he delegated those responsibilities at Hartlepool and when he moved to Luton? Edit: Toogs can go on the tannoy and tell his invisible friend to get off the pitch!

Why the hell will Newell be a good assistant? or indeed, Shearer? Do any of the people putting them forward have first-hand experience of their coaching abilities? Have they been given a glowing testimonial as to the abilities of such people by mysterious third-parties? No, they bleeding well haven't! It's the new parlour game, pluck a name out of the hat, "Whaddya get, Granny?"; "I got Ronnie Hildersley as Technical Director, Father Ted as Manager, and Alan Shearer in charge of making the teas!"; "Cool, I'll just pump that into Championship Manager - 'for those with too much free time' and see what happens!" It's balls, absolute twads. Shearer doen't even have any managerial experience, he's not finished playing yet! Does he even have a badge (apart from Cub Scouts Boxing)? I'm going for Stephen Hawking as Manager and Sir Alf Ramsey as Assistant. Stephen has zilch experience but will be good with formations, and Sir Alf can wipe his bum. Sorted.

Well, apparently he's been stripped of it. Maybe they took his number away from him in a Voodoo ceremonial ritual?

According to the Sun, Garry Flipflop is to be given a squad number by TP and will start against Newcastle. Hurry up JW and get someone in!

AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh, NO! No, no, and again no. Thrice no with a garnishing of negatories, neins and niets. No in a slinky metallic mini-skirt! Jay Dubya, what in the hell's cotton-picking name are ya doin, SONNN?!

How do you know who's applied?

We've only just got rid of a big pair of t*ts up front.

Who wrote that article in the LET: "You could do worse than Kenny" Summary of article: - Kenny is who we need, tried and tested, would get respect from players, but he screwed up since he left, and wouldn't really get that much respect. And I don't think we'll hire him, but he's just what we need. - George Graham is a discipliniarian with a great track record. We could do a lot worse than him. - But my number one choice is someone with no track record - Hughes. I think the bottom line is everyone who's immediately available either has top-flight experience (but is tarnished in some way), or is rated highly (but has no top-flight experience) - whether this high-rating is the subject of media tittle-tattle or what I dunno. Of course you could get someone in from abroad who has top-level epxerience, but that might be seen as an added gamble. Worth bearing in mind that Wenger was managing Grampus Eight when Arsenal came in. There's no one safe option in my mind.

I suspect, having just finished his autobiography, that the author of this post is actually Lorenzo Amoruso!!! And as far as suggestions about Harry Redknapp go - NO! People might start receiving their wages in brown paper bags. Hard-won financial stability is not to be thrown away. If you're going to suggest Redknapp, you might as well suggest Kinnear.

No you're right, Advocaat was a complete disaster at Rangers, and I wouldn't want him within a country mile of the job!

What's all this rubbish about Dalglish? The man threw a strop because Jack wouldn't give him any more money to indulge himself, why would he be happy to manage within our current constraints? Both his jobs since he left Rovers have been unmitigated failures. It's all this emotive "homecoming" crap again isn't it? Let's get someone in who won't quit just because things are difficult. Leave Kenny in the studio and stop all this prodigal son twaddle with Newell, Shearer and KD.

How can anyone eat chips and gravy - it's so grim. It's like pie and peas - never has anything caused me to trumpet voluntary so often.

Peter Taylor absolutely ruined Leicester, bought a load of old crap, used appalling tactics and watched them sink out of sight! No way!

Hughes is quoted on the Beeb site, sounding very unenthusiastic about the job, and he says he doesn't expect a call from us. Sounds like it's Strachan then! Or perhaps Wally Smith according to the Beeb.

Misleading news item of the year goes to Alan75. News headline: Rovers Name New Manager! ... the word "Caretaker" was omitted!

Hughes ... in the news ... for the Blues!

I'm honestly struggling to plump for anyone else. Strachan worries me a little because he didn't set the Premiership on fire (but are we looking for someone who has?!), the only other one would be Dowie, he transformed Palace so fast it's hard to ignore, he seems to have this je ne sais crois about him that indicates a manager who could be successful in the Prem. I just hope that the board have the sense not to appoint Houllier.

The best without Premiership credentials. He does have credentials in that he's turned Wales round to an extent (although the result against Azebijan was a little worrying!) For those with Premiership credentials, none of them inspires. They're all has-beens or never-were's.

I want Hughes, there's no-one out there with good Premiership credentials, so he's the best there is without credentials.