5 million I heard.

I can see it now - a set of tombstone gnashers looming out of the gloaming, a fair-skinned English rose on her bike, the panic as Yorke flips about and trips over the bike, almost letting the girl get away, before using his clever "It's looks like I'm not closing down but actually I am" technique, and shagging the grunny out of the bike ... before making his way off on the cycle.

So where has the little git gone - Celtic or Brum? I'm sure it's a puzzler for him = Birmingham, where he can renew his special relationship with the fans or Celtic where it gets a bit nippy and some of the grounds are poor. Not that I care - he's off and I'm so relieved.

Why? They won't even be at the ground. Opposition fans will wonder why we're more concerned with little Burnley (not even in our division) than with them. Weird obsession.

Please not the Burnley banner, for Ethels sakes'. So embarrassing.

You've got some brass neck. Sturrock for PM!

I have absolutely nothing against Newcastle as a place, their fans (apart from the violent gits) or the team, but I really hope the whole thing goes nips up for them now. Freddie Sheppard (think I've got the right Freddie there) really is an odious little s0d. I think the whole premise (spend far too much money for starters) has got the whiff of disaster about it. And I think Bobby is well off out of it. The way he's been treated is nothing short of disgraceful.

Better than being involved in a scooter launch ...

Right, this is good news. All we need now is a new right-back, a couple of central defenders, a right-winger until Thompson comes back, a central midfielder who can put tehir foot in, and a decent all-round striker! No worries.

Do you have a sense of humour, Janice. Good grief. First you take my jibe about women knowing nothing about football seriously (and Flopsy jumps on the bandwagon to make a pathetic little jibe - natch), now this! I guess accountants aren't renowned for their hilarity, but this is taking the biscuit. "For those WITH a brain ..." oooh, get you!

Probably not. He was probably just trying to keep you happy and stop ragging him.

Are we thinking of teh same game? 1-0 up at half-time, through Windy Wilcox?

Remember losing 4-1 to Wimbledon, that was bad!

Yep - this Norwegian crud is really starting to get on my knockers. Big time. Jog trotting Emerton was a fantastic dribbler (when you dribble, you spill!) when he came from Feyenoord, with two fungal feet. But now he struggles to find a melon in a cart, and has been a right poof this year. Anyone else want to translate?

Because he was virtually picking the team in his last year. Didn't want to play with Sutton, wanted to partner Newell instead, who wouldn't steal the glory, but who would tee up Shearer instead. Anyway, why should we be his testing ground? He could make all his mistakes here then go to Newcastle and be a good manager for them 2/3 years down the line ...

Hughes - yet to manage in Premiership. Dowie - wouldn't leave Palace for a club in a similar position Shearer - would not be a good manager, would pick his favourites rather than in-form players Strachan - doesn't want to come back into football yet Newell - has no pedigree, just ask Hartlepool fans!

Eh?! He only gets his suit dry-cleaned when he's up for teh caretaker interview? What a smelly gipper!

Is it physically possible to "get over yourself"? Sounds like a yoga position. If Souness was headed for the chop, he wouldn't have been given the money to sign Pedersen and Coridon.

Please stop posting links to foreign language websites, 99.99% of people here cannot read fricking Norwegian!

If the stories of him falling out with Gallagher are true, then it's a real blow, we could do with him down the right. Shame we didn't get Finnan on loan, either. Last season the problems were not scoring and conceding too many. So far we have scored three times (only one goal being notched by a striker), and conceded seven. Plus ca change! The team needs shaking up, and people need to be played in their proper positions, otherwise we won't be discussing this topic in a month, Souness will already have gone.

Was the second one the header? Because if it was it was Matteo's fault, because he didn't jump high enough, he could've easily cut it out.

Not even an extra tin of sausages and beans? And don't try to fob them off with skanky Happy Shopper rubbish relabelled, they might be foreign, but they're not totally stoopid!

It's a bl00dy soap opera, it really is! Never known such fuss over a transfer. Either us or them are really mucking about. Why don't we chuck a catering size tin of beans in there to help seal the deal?

He's a full-time plonk! Although that term is interchangeable with bank manager. I guess it's a natural progression from banker to ref. In both positions you get the chance to wield an excessive influence over people's happiness. And in some cases you get the chance to ruin a person's livelihood - great!

I can't reveal them, sorry. I've probably said too much already. Apple source Brown source Tomahhhh-ta source Soy source Worcester source Daddy's source Mint source Chilli source Chutney source (Apologies to R Barker).