broadsword

What if edinho III had a son and calls him edinho? Would he be number four or just three junior?

Or Eddie Latheron? Fergie Suter? Hargreaves, Brown, Roscamp, Healess, Briggs? This club has so much to cherish, it's so much more than stinking rotten moronic untrustwortrhy parasitic Venky's and their stinking chums.

Main thing is to finish as high as possible in championship

But poor Gary has barely had any time and he's not been able to bring in any players and morale has been rock bottom and he's stabilised us and and and .... I want my teddy!

No rush, the season's only six games old. Can't have the owners caving in to the modern generation of fickle fan who wants change at the drop of the hat when times get tough. It takes time to create something worthwhile, Gary must be given time to put his plans in place. Three years of chopping and changing is not enough time to realise the vision.

Gotta shotgun them spesh or you're a big girl's blouse.

Yes, the first 6 games have been about building a tactical platform. Sacrificing points to fine-tune our strategy, ready to be unveiled tomorrow night. I feel sorry for QPR, I really do. They won't know whether it's Christmas Day or Easter Monday come kick-off time. We'll have our foots on their collective throat ... or is feet, or collective foot on their throats, anyway, we'll mangle them with a display of manly macho aggressive in-your-face-slag bullying football that their puny team won't be able to withstand. Very much in the image of Gary "Raw Meat" Bowyer. It's cruel, but it's survival of the fittest.

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I just hope I can still draw breath when they do. If I outlive the @#/?s, I swear to God I'll buy a ticket to India and dance on their graves.

I think tomorrow will be a defining game. Fulham were in the bottom 3 themselves last month, possibly they've just had a slow start. Hope springs eternal, if we can keep them out, we may nick one through Rhodes. A win and we can relax a bit, a draw and ... well, we stagger on. A loss and we're right in it. It's going to be unbearable viewing. My concern is that we'll ship one early doors, let them get on the front doot and never get back into it. Just hope I'm wrong, because I don't think the leadership at the club is strong enough to get us out of a hole. The best we can hope for this season is survival, I guess it's just a waiting game. But tomorrow I think will tell us a lot. We're in the bottom three again, can Bowyer get a response out of whatever 11 he picks?

Would be interesting to see a plot of he moving average of points per game.

Oh that's a relief, he doesn't lose three on the bounce! Why didn't you say so earlier, could've saved me needlessly worrying about relegation. And what's all this about him being experienced? you make him sound like trapatoni! As if the last three years of deckchair manoeuvring has somehow magically transformed him into a great manager!

Carfidd currently winning at Forest. You know, that thing where you score more than the other side?

Specifically, Fulham winning for one. That'll give them a boost just before they go into the break, their next game being against us at the Cottage ...

He's done ever so well. Magnificent, in fact.

I think the first 2 or 3 months may be more critical for us than for other teams. If we can get a few lucky wins, scrape a few draws, we could build some momentum for mid-table. But if we carry on shipping goals and not scoring any, have a bad Aug/Sept, we'll be bang in trouble because I don't think we've got the fight to get out of it. I don't think the players would be up for it enough. Teams like Rotherham are used to it, dare I say, we've got too many rubber dinghy men.

What are the reasons for us not going down? - Too much quality in the squad? Which players represent quality then? - Tighten up the defence? Can't see that - Koita and Brown to score the goals that Gestede and Rhodes scored? Maybe Koita could knock a few in, but he can't score 40 on his own. - Bowyer has a tactical epiphany? - We suddenly become the fittest team in the division, with morale to match? I think the only reason we'd stay up is that they'd be 3 teams even more hopeless than us.

Stevie Finn, Stevie Finn; The Aussies he's just thumped Stevie Finn, Stevie Finn; He took the skipper's stumps Feared by the crooks, he's loved by Cap'n Cook Stevie Finn, Stevie Finn, Stevie Finn

Great result for Lancs today, doing Glam by an innings and ~150 runs. It's only really Glam who can stop us going up, so this result, which sees us going about 60 points ahead of them having played a game more, could be pivotal. My only concern is that at some point England could poach Giles. I'll be at Lancs next game, the 50 over fixture with Sussex. Really looking forward to that/

The England selectors have had a shocker. If I was Kevin I'd be telling them to get bent

Can't imagine Cook ripping a wet paper bag.

Things won't improve until the captain changes. I suspect the next three tests will be one way traffic

It's a shame KP isn't playing any more. Oh.

Good old Ian Austin, I remember him! Back in the good old days of Lancs being one day kings. Akram, De Freitas, Fairbrother, Mendis, Graeme Fowler, Paul Allott. The good old days. Austin was a quality bowler and a handy lower order batsman, but I don't think he'd ever get on the cover of Men's Health. I once met Wasim Akram after a day at an England test at the Oval. He was extremely polite, which must have been an effort because I was just so incredibly drunk. That might have been the time I drank 18 cans of 1664 and fell down an Underground escalator. The memory is a little hazy. Who remembers this?

Lancs are playing down the road from me in the 50 over competition, just booked my ticket now, looking forward to it