sloth_frattelli Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS: Man City have sold Shaun Wright-Phillips to Madonna. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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adopted scouser Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS: Man City have sold Shaun Wright-Phillips to Madonna. Very Good, but we should just link this thread with Sickipedia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herbergeehh Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I'm glad I don't understand morse code, because tap dancers would make me absolutely crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 What's the difference between Alan Shearer & Newcastle United? Alan Shearer will be appearing on "Match Of The Day" next season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABBEY Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 BLOODY HELL COL that was in the mirror two weeks ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead while I give these two a lift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 BLOODY HELL COL that was in the mirror two weeks ago Apologies. I only heard it today. (Colin hides head in shame) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adopted scouser Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presty On Tour Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 RFW misses the bus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Dingle-Brigade Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 That is brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I rang the help-line regarding Swine Flu. I couldn't get through; it was a bad line. All I got was a lot of CRACKLING. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddiewac Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 Try some oinkment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JC4LAB Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 Caught bird Flu...Now I keep thinking about relationships, cant park the car,and like crap music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 A Jewish guy applied to immigration to live in Burnley, however he was refused entry because he had been circumcised. You have to be a complete prick to live in Burnley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 As the two friend wandered home through the snow on their way home, Piglet grinned to himself, how lucky he was to have a best friend like Pooh............................... ................................. Pooh thought to himself: " If the pig sneezes he's dead" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JC4LAB Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 A Jewish guy applied to immigration to live in Burnley, however he was refused entry because he had been circumcised. You have to be a complete prick to live in Burnley. Or perhaps he found where the bits they throw away end up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adopted scouser Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Just bought a Ricky Hatton toaster - it's crap Won't do two rounds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b12_simon Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Or perhaps he found where the bits they throw away end up... here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave birch Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Stevie Wonder vs Tiger Woods Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now.' Stevie says, 'I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right.' Tiger says, 'You play GOLF?' Stevie says, 'Yes, I've been playing for years'. Tiger says, 'But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?' Stevie Wonder replies, 'Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice.' 'But, how do you putt?' asks Tiger 'Well', says Stevie, 'I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice.' Tiger asks, 'What's your handicap?' Stevie says, 'Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer.' Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, 'We've got to play a round sometime.' Stevie replies, 'Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. That a problem?' Woods thinks about it and says, ' I can afford that, OK, I'm game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?' Stevie Wonder says, 'Pick a night' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Castell Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Greater Manchester Police have foiled an Al Quiada plot to infitrate the Heinz plant in Wigan and plant bombs in cans of alphabetti spaghetti. A police spokesman said that if the plot had been successful it might have spelt disaster. ****** What's green & smells? Kermit's arse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mc Love Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Button injured in fatal F1 smash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Apparantly the Burnley players are suffering from a rare cross virus of Swine and Bird flu which could prevent their race for the premiership. Its called 'pigs might f**king fly flu'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presty On Tour Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 So Katie and Peter are splitting up.. bet Harvey didn't see that coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthAussieRover Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure..' The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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