Newcastle, having been turned down by both Steve McClaren and Steve Bruce today, have switched their sights to Sam Allardyce!

Because we need a player who is going to save us from relegation. If this is the solution to our problems, then I'm a cantankerous old so-and-so.

So the knight in shining armour came galloping over the hill to the rescue of the Rovers in the shape of a Coventry reject. Wonderful. Souness's much-acclaimed Italian scouts strike again.

Three hours 45 minutes to transfer deadline, or we're stuck the present load of stiffs until January.

Dear Mr Clayton Left Boot, I've just noticed your signature. Was Sir Ronnie playing centre half in that game? And what happened to Frank Lord? Yours in sport jim

1 SOCCER Celtic Nightlead YORKE IN CELTIC TALKS Celtic have confirmed they are in talks with Blackburn Rovers striker Dwight Yorke over a possible move to Parkhead. The Bank of Scotland Premier League club are looking to take the former Manchester United man to Glasgow for the remainder of his contract with Rovers. But the Hoops dismissed suggestions that the 32-year-old had already agreed a three-year deal. A Celtic statement read: “The club would like to confirm that they have been given permission to speak to the player with a view to taking over the remainder of his contract.” more to follow

The first is too old, the second is too young, the third is finished and the fourth is injured. Marvellous.

Press Association confirmation 1 SOCCER Celtic Snap Celtic confirm they are in talks with Blackburn Rovers striker Dwight Yorke over a possible move to Parkhead.

Word is that Geordie lad Steve Bruce is Newcastle's preferred choice as manager and has already been sounded out by the club.

They may not be pleasant characters but Shepherd, like Rupert Lowe at Southampton, should be applauded for taking swift action for poor results by removing underperforming managers. The Rovers board may be happy to start the season with a "haul" of two points from 12 but at most other clubs Souness would have walked the plank by now. With one day to go before the transfer window closes until January, I find it hard to believe that Souness thinks that the present squad is good enough to keep Rovers in the Premiership. I notice that West Brom, who have made some very astute buys this summer, strengthened their squad further today by signing the excellent Robert Earnshaw from Cardiff. After their traumatic season two years ago, West Brom look much stronger this time around and I expect them to stay up with ease. Palace and Norwich have weak squads, but of the rest, I would say ours is the worst. The league table does not lie: Souness got lucky last season when he pulled a rabbit called Stead out of the hat who saved us from relegation. I doubt if he can pull off the trick a second time.

Managerless teams always play well - null points at St James's next weekend means we will have gleaned a magnificent two points out of 15. Looking on the bright side, however, Souness must be a candidate for the Newcastle job because Shepherd is daft enough to appoint him, and with the Rangers post possibly on offer as well with the impending departure of McLeish, Souness could be out of Ewood before the end of September. There is hope for Rovers yet.

We had a top quality forward - name of Andrew Cole - but Souness showed him the door.

Now that Souness is being exposed for the fraud that he is, perhaps the board will now follow Southampton's example and terminate his contract forthwith. Sacking him in October when we are rock bottom with one point to our name will be far too late.

Has he gone yet?

Nothing new there then. One thing I was hoping for this season was a better attitude from the players but the first three games have demonstrated that little has changed from last term. I was mildly optimistic before the start of the season but it is obvious even at this early stage that we are facing another relegation battle. One point out of possible nine and a buoyant ManU to come. Lady Luck certainly isn't on our side, is it Graeme?

Just back from my annual two weeks in Morecambe. Marvellous time. It may have been mentioned elsewhere but I notice Souness was blaming "Lady Luck" for our demise against Southampton. You would have thought he could have dreamt up a new excuse in the close season.

Bring this back to the top. Mustn't let our dear manager think he is never far away from our thoughts. Hope you sleep well Graeme, because wondering who is going to score goals for us this season is giving me nightmares.

Some of Rovers' performances last season veered between tragi-comedy and pantomime but their preparations for the new season are becoming nothing short of farcical. The lead role in all this is, of course, is being played by the grand dame Souness, whose transfer policy (if he has one) continues to defy logic and gives the appearance of a struggling manager who has lost the plot and is making it up as he goes along. In the past week we have had the curious bid for Moore, reported interest in yet another defender, Finnan, and the continuing on/off, is he staying/is he going saga involving Dwight Yorke. All three raise questions about Souness’s stewardship of the club and the prospects for next season. Why, for instance, would Souness want to sign Moore when we already have nine (!) senior defenders, including four centre backs, on the books? And why would he wish to sign Finnan, a right back, when the position is already held by Neill, reputedly one of Souness’s favourite players? Why, also, the about-turn that has seen Yorke, seemingly so out in the cold that he was left out of the pre-season tour, return to favour with hints that he may even be offered a new contract? Yorke did not look remotely interested in playing for the club for most of last season and Souness repeatedly criticised his attitude and lifestyle, so what has changed? Nothing, I would suggest, except that Souness has been ordered to make peace with Yorke by the board because the club cannot get rid of the player and has to continue paying his exorbitant wages. Last season, Souness increasingly gave the impression of a man who did not know what he was doing. His antics as the big kick-off approaches merely reinforces that view in my opinion.

Svengate has claimed its first victim. Mark Palios has resigned as chief executive of the FA.

That Coventry match at Ewood in the 1966-67 season represented something of a watershed for Rovers. If we had won it, we would almost certainly have returned to the old First Division at the first attempt. Unfortunately, Coventry triumphed, won promotion and stayed in the top flight for the next 30-odd years while Rovers slowly sunk farther and farther into oblivion. I remember the Ferguson dismissal well and also another sending-off when he gave the dirty midfielder, Trevor Hockey, of Birmingham, an elbow in the face right under the ref's nose. Not the most intelligent act but Ferguson was a real crowd pleaser who was adored by the Rovers faithful. I particularly remember a goal at Aston Villa circa 1965 (?) when he dribbled round the entire defence and sat on the ball on the goal-line before tapping it in. At least that's how I recall it, but it was a long time ago.

If only the FA had appointed Brian Clough at the peak of his powers c1973-76 instead of Revie/Uncle Ron Greenwood. The press mounted a vigorous campaign for Cloughie but they were ignored as usual. Cloughie was certainly at his most controversial at that time but weren't his "peak years" 1978-79 when Nottingham Forest won the European Cup in successive seasons?

Since when did the press exist to serve English football? Or are they supposed only to print the "nice" stories and ignore the ones that might harm the game? Newspapers did not report Royal scandals in days gone by but the world has moved on since then. Newspapers compete against each other for customers (the same as drinks companies) and the smell of a good story (which this most certainly is) has the houndogs from from the red tops salivating. And who would not admit to lapping up every word of the Eriksson affair as the story unfolds? Had he won either the 2002 World Cup or Euro 2004, Eriksson could shag away for England and he would probably have received a knighthood for it. As is it, both tournaments exposed his inadequacies. At £4 million a year the FA are obviously wondering if they are getting value for money from a man of limited ability who will never be able to deliver the success that the country craves and who clearly has so much spare time on his hands that he is chasing every bit of skirt around the office desks. Eriksson should be consigned to the scrapheap now, following Keegan, Hoddle, Venables, Taylor, Robson, Greenwood and Revie in the Hall of Dishonour for England Managers Who Weren't Up To The Job.

If in doubt, blame the press. What nonsense. The reality is that if any of past managers had been up to the job, England would have won a major trophy. Eriksson is just the latest in a long line of overpromoted ninnies who have failed to deliver results through their own incompetance. The real culprits for England's poor performances over the past 40 years are the dunderheads at the FA who have consistently appointed the wrong men for the job. They even sacked Alf Ramsey, the man who delivered England the World Cup.

Bryan Douglas Mike Ferguson Tony Field All the rest are pygmies by comparison.

Important to keep this thread on the backburner ready for the defeat by West Brom. Souness out.