broadsword

Or even a flat cap salary?

It's too boring - there needs to be some naked women in the mix.

Did he bang along to it? (Out of time.)

From teh statements he's made on teh BBC website, I'd say he's dropped Beckham for good. Good, it shows he's got some nuts, unlike the Swedish bed-hopping nepotic turnip. Beckham's had it, his legs have gone and he is only good for free-kicks now.

Kiddies toy drums? Giving each drummer a paint brush instead of a drumstick? Only giving them half a drum? giving them a drum and drum stick but only after they've taken a heavy dosage of valium?

Couldn't they be given silent drums instead? I'd be most upset if one of these geezers tried to sit near me.

Two nightmares, one of them is being lost in a railway station with so many platforms it's not true, all of the trains are steam engines. The other one is being aboard a ship which is going to sink, I faff around trying to find the best strategy to survive then just stay on the top deck. The ship goes over and I keep on going down decks until I get to the bottom and enter an umbilical cord to an underwater world which I run around until I duel with someone I hated at school. not had either nightmare for a while.

Has anyone ever been sat right in front or behind him? I'd imagine that that was a bit painful?

Did he actually take the day off then? Or was he told not to train that day? I don't think your analogy is a valid one. Footballers are spoon-fed, it's their duty to carry their skills onto the field, the conditioning and training is the responsibility of the manager. What would training be like if everyone suddenly announced they were off to do their own thing? "Oh boss, I won't do the five-a-side, personally I feel I'd benefit more from a long run, so see ya later". "Boss these cones have been laid out wrong, can I change them?" "Boss, I've over-trained thanks to you, I am taking today over to allow my muscles to super-compensate" "Boss, these bleep tests aren't stretching me, I'm using my own heart-rate monitor and I'm not above 85% of my heart-rate yet" "Boss, I find these training routines mentally-unstimulating, either let's do soemthing different or I'll go home" Yes, it all sounds very feasible to me. You can't take your own work-place analogy and then suddenly apply it to football.

Why do clubs hire sports scientists and fitness coaches then? They shouldn't need them, the players know it all! You might as well have the players washing the kit, making the teas and giving the half-time talk. Did the players give themselves days off? No, the Swedish Turnip did. It's not so much scapegoating as laying blame where it's rightfully due.

I think anyone would be amazed if they ever saw a game there. Farcical.

So, Lampard wasn't fit enough because he was moaning about being tired, and the amount of games he played wasn't as many as that played by Arsenal in 1979/80. So, what you are saying is that Arsenal players in 1979/80 were fitter than Frank Lampard Juinor is now? Do you realise how ridiculous that statement sounds? You may have noticed that the game is played at a slightly higher tempo these days. Who knows whether Lampard complained to Eriksson about the training, or how tired he felt. If he did, it didn't actually have any effect, did it? The manager makes the decisions and is ultimately responsible for everything that happens on the pitch - period. He is responsible for switching the training round if it isn't working, he is responsible for tactics and selection NOT the players. Players can speak their minds but won't necessarily get their own way, and if they don't and the results don't come then they are entitled to speak out. One thing that I do remember is that Klinsman's training methods re-invigorated his team after a long season because he was prepared to accept new ideas. We needed something new to get the players going again. As it is, Lampard was clearly out-of-sorts and needed dropping. I never agreed with messing the FA Cup schedule up just to have more time off at teh end of teh season. It certainly didn't help us did it?

What?! So he was responsible for picking and choosing what club games he played in? I mean, what are you saying that he did, that he shouldn't have done? Was he bingeing on pot noodles every day? Come on, what did he do wrong? An extra week off isn't going to make any difference. Lampard was knackered after a long and hard season, and should've been dropped. That was the manager's fault. Good one with Rooney visiting the prostitute, keep the moral indignation coming! You start off by saying that Lampard will make a packet out of his autobiography, then conclude by saying you hope the public boycott it. But I agree that it must have been disappointing for fans to pay so much money to watch a load of bilge, for this, blame the manager. Other than that, this part is a "footballers are in it for the money" diatribe, well blow me down, what a shocker! Try to look beyond the World Cup and see that he is a World class player who's played well for us in the past. But I don't think he should be captain either. Are you a sports scientist now or something?! It's down to the manager to get the players fit. It really is as simple as that. Players can voice their opinions, but at the end of the day, the manager's decision is final, otherwise the players are running the show and the manager is an on-looker. I've got half a mind to think this is sexual jealousy on your part. Reacting when a camera was on them? Like no-one else in the crowd does that! Does that make all fans publicity-seeking trollops?! How do you know that they were burning holes in the player's credit cards? Probably a lot of tehm were, but ("vacuous bimbo") Cheryl Tweedy was actually quoted in the press as saying she's never go shopping with her boyfriend's cards, and had her own credit cards. But I'd agree with the general point about player's wives staying away from the players. To summarise your post then: - Players are responsible for their own fitness, and should be telling the manager what training they should do. I would say that they are responsible for making sure that they don't do anything stupid like getting drunk or eating junk, and they should voice their opinions about training (how do you know that they didn't?) but other than that it's down to the manager. - Players are money-grabbing bar stools - so what else is new? - More stuff on players being responsible for their own fitness - see above - A load of Mary Whitehouse Victorian-throwback stuff, which I do actually agree with despite the way it's written. Now get back to the cellar Bob Cratchett and get on with filling out the ledger!

I don't know what experience you have of the working world, rover6, but I think you'll find that it is sometimes difficult to do a good job if your manager is useless. Why the hell are you comparing the player voted second-best in the World with some Norwegian geezer who has vanished from sight? I think the opinions of teh former carry just a little more weight. Bottom line: Lampard is entitled to his views and I can't disagree with anything he's said. The fact that he has had a bad tournament doesn't in any way invalidate what he's said.

Don't be a lemon all your life. You're telling me seriously that Lampard can't criticise the Ikea Egghead because he was a regular under him? That's like saying I can't criticise the company I work for as they keeping paying my wages. You've got some very funny ideas.

We'll get him back when he's 32 and his legs have gone.

Where did I say Newcastle were going to "do a Leeds"? The niceties of corporate finance are lost on me I admit, but I'm pretty much certain that if you weren't up to your necks in debt then the Intertonto wouldn't be necessary. Perhaps they're desperate to keep the income up in order just to service the debt? "How's Bellamy going?" - goodness, a little bit childish, eh?

Blimey, Keith Treacy played?! Maybe he will get a run out for us at the end of the season. I've liked the reports I've read of him, will watch out for his name.

Nice result in the intertoto mate. Prestigious competition that. of course being about £90m in debt, any prize money would be welcome, eh? Let's compare notes at the end of the season eh?

Maybe they'll sign other players and push themselves 9 figures into the red. Oh deary me, how the mighty have fallen ... I will be stunned if Newcastle do better than us this season. I'm quite pleased in a smug sort of way I know footballers want to play every week, but that's desperate. They only appointed Roeder because they were skint.

Superman is a Christian allegory, no it's not, it's about a Jew fleeing his homeland, oh no it isn't it's about a wolly woofter in tights being out-and-proud, but remaining defiantly non-scene when he puts his glasses on. Or is it just about a geezer who knocks ten bells out of the bad boys?

Is Deliverance some sort of allegory about Vietnam? Can't stand the appearance of the new Superman, looks way too camp to me. So he can go take his super-ass elsewhere. Rover6, when are you going to lighten up? You must be beating the birds off with a pooey stick. "Hey Rover6 bay-bee, tell me more of your scientific dissection of Blackburn Rovers in the nineteen nineties. It just makes me sooooooooooooooooo hot hot hot hot hot hot!"

He gets bored with winning everything and decides to take up swordfish wrestling instead? His wife insists he spends more time at home doing the washing up, and he can't juggle the demands of top-flight management with being up to his arms in fairy liquid? Someone throws a half-eaten wham bar at his head it gets stuck in his coiffure and he takes a 12-month sabbatical to get it surgically removed and get treated for PTSD?

Pig-sitter?

Playing the "blame game" is better than playing teh race card.