Can you remember where you picked that up from AS? I've frustratingly been elsewhere when that programme has been on but I adore the Fall and, whilst I know a little bit about his eccentric antics, I'm sure there's plenty in it which I don't. As for the review, excellent Bob, it's extremely rare that I raise a smile to something I've read at the computer, let alone laugh out loud. In a parrallel universe I'm pretty sure you'll be picking up a journalist award somewhere. Possibly also the same place where Lucas is playing for Barcelona. And where Kuqi cleans the buses.

About the lowest form of name dropping you'll get here Fife, but my Dad's qualified to the level below Unibond, although I don't know what that is (roughly wherever FC United find themselves nowadays). Anyway, that's the reason I've been using these definitons, I don't have an unhealthy obsession with the tedious side of the game or anything, it just happens to get thrust at me around the dinner table and such like. I could have a slightly scewed version of it in truth as, as you can imagine, I don't really pay a lot of attention, so don't take it as gospel just yet.

Edde I agree that it's absolutely not clear, I'm not denying that, the offside law is a shambles. It should be returned to the old 'if you're offside you're offside' law, everyone would know where they stand (literally). With there only being one pass seperating McCarthy's offside position and him putting the ball in the back of the net, however, I'm certain it should still be considered the same phase of play. I think the close proximity within which both McCarthy and Robert were positioned at the time of McCarthy being offside also contributes towards it. In a strange way it feels nice to have won with a slightly dodgy goal, although I'm not too sure why.

To stop that argument created by Van Nistelrooy of standing offside then tapping the ball home ten seconds later the FA introdced a guideline suggesting 'phases' of play. Although McCarthy wasn't doing it intentionally, I'm sure his goal fits quite snuggly into it.

McCarthy was offside because, under the 'new' definition of the offside law, the point at which he put the ball in the net would still be considered the same phase of play in which he was offside. Having said that, I don't actually care, we have our fair share of bad luck so we deserve the odd break. No doubt people on here will forget this slice of fortune next time we're hard done to though.

I agree that they're not entirely the same and I admit to being a little superficial in the comparison, but that's because my main point was about the goal threat coming from wide players cutting in whilst the full backs overlap, meaning the central area isn't relied upon to score goals. The intricate make-up of the central area wasn't really pivotal to my argument so I didn't feel the need to go into detail. Having said that, I don't think I could possibly go into as much detail as you did anyway, so it's probably a lucky coincidence I didn't need to. One main point I would disagree with, however; I think you're severely understating the work Vieira went through at Arsenal. If we're working with two basic categories of a holding player and a box-to-box player then he would firmly fit into the latter in my opinion, in fact his relatively poor form with Juventus and France was attributed by many people to the fact that he was asked to hold the midfield as opposed to playing box-to-box. I certainly wouldn't say Savage plays a more advanced role than what was asked of Vieira in his Arsenal days. Incidently I'd also throw Sissoko into that category, but I don't feel Liverpool's midfield has relevance to what I was trying to say so I won't go into that any more. Also, whilst I don't disagree with your assessment of Tugay's contribution to the team, I think this is more due to the attributes Tugay possesses, I don't think he could play that position any other way. I'm almost positive that, if Hughes had the choice, he would sacrifice a considerable amount of Tugay's creativeness for an equal amount of Mokoena's bite in the tackle. Of course that is hypothetical at present, but I'm guessing it could be proved right when the eventual replacement is brought in.

That's a very generic and almost dated view of how a midfield system works, ours is not one that is set up to provide a goal threat from the centre of the park. Our midfield system reminds me of how Arsenal's used to work; Vieira (Savage) will run box-to-box, impose himself phsyically but never really be involved in the attacking side of things. Alongside him, Petit/Gilberto (Tugay) will sit deep, keep the ball moving and try to start attacks, ensuring that their partner is able to go about imposing themselves all over the pitch without fear of being caught short in the middle. The goal-threat from midfield comes from two wide players whom would not normally be considered 'wingers', Ljungberg and Pires (Bentley and Pedersen). Both will rarely beat a man on the outside and put in a cross, instead choosing to make central runs into the area to support the front men. To ensure width is not lacking, athletic full-backs in the shape of Cole and Lauren (Emerton and Neill) are deployed with the instructions of supporting attacks at all times, working up a good relationship with their midfield counterpart. Ok, Arsenal had far more success with theirs but they were operating it with a far higher calibre of player, but the basic model remains the same. I've been saying for some time now that it is Tugay who enables us to play a fluid 4-4-2 system because he's the only one who can sit deep and create from there, Mokoena is better defensively but is terrible in possession and usually puts us straight back under pressure again after winning the ball. Edit: That isn't to say Tugay's success in the role isn't diminishing with age, I also believe it is. My point is that he is still needed in the majority of games to make our midfield work and his presence isn't what's holding Savage back from scoring more, it's the way the tactics are designed to get goals from wide areas as opposed to central ones. Dunn can never replace Tugay, in fact it's unlikely there will be a place for him in any central midfield in modern football, players of his style are pushed out wide or behind a front man...even Ronaldinho and Zidane have/had to deal with it. Although Bentley has seemingly found his position on the right, he does have the makings of a potential Tugay replacement, should he be willing to sacrifice the glory of scoring goals for creating from deep. His passing and awareness are excellent and he's not afraid to fly into a tackle. Ok, he'll never be Roy Keane, but players like Carrick have shown you don't have to be to play that position effectively...a disciplined positional attitude can be just as effective. It's difficult to see where an external replacement would come from...it would most likely be abroad as players of that kind are still quite rare in this country, the only realistic option would have been Pedro Mendes but Portsmouth's masses of cash will probably see him out of our reach now.

I remember one Premiership chairman (Bolton's or Middlesbrough's I believe) stating that, since the competition was revamped, qualification into the group stages can be worth £5 million...bearing in mind that this was the debut season for the competition with a group-stage round, so it would have been a rough guess at best. Even if the estimate was fairly accurate for the club involved, I doubt the figure would be as high for ourselves given our relatively low attendences and the apparent lack of television interest in our fixtures. A big name in our group could go a long way to maximising the money we could make though.

There is absolutely no need to spend money on virus-protection software for a home computer, you'll just be wasting your money. Install AVG Free Edition, it will do everything you need and is easy to use. Every other product is a rip-off unless you are protecting a network or EXTREMELY valuable information.

He hasn't been in a job that's worth judging him in since 1996; less than a year in the positions and at clubs that were either unstable or on the slide anyway. Many ex England/Barcelona/Tottenham players have said that he is the best manager they have worked under. They mention his man-management skills and outstanding tactical knowledge as the thing which makes him stand out from the others. Billy...I'm fairly sure he's regarded as being responsible for keeping Boro up the season he joined. Ok, he did it by making them defensive and scraping results. So what? Did you criticise Hughes in his first season here?

Terry Venables is a good manager...

We desperately need to take Ooijer out of defence. We've basically bought ourselves another Amoruso, just with a better CV. He'll leave on a free transfer in a couple of years after playing the majority of his Rovers career in the reserves. Anyway, back on topic, personally I'd go with a team of... Friedel Emerton Neill Todd Gray Reid Tugay Savage Pedersen Nonda McCarthy Although I'd maybe consider playing Reid and Savage together in the middle as Boro tend to play with quite athletic central players, Tugay might find it hard to get into this one. Nonda should be ready for a start though, even if he doesn't last the whole game. Edit: That is, of course, if Reid is fit. Bentley to fill in otherwise.

I'd prefer him in defence to Ooijer.

Wouldn't it be Fat Sam taking a bung...

Has anyone read any of Mark Steel's books? I'm very fond of his pieces in The Independent and he's always come across as an intelligent and witty person on television...but I'm generally not a fan of (semi-) autobiographical books, as these appear to be from reviews I've read. Any opinions would be welcomed greatly.

If it were false then Neill would have lambasted his agent and stated so. "he just feels it is time for a change." - that sounds pretty final. I'm pretty sure Liverpool will still be interested in a player they were willing to pay £2 million for when he's available for nothing.

Stuwilky is right, it's not illegal to provide links to other sites which may host such content, that's why websites can get away with providing links to places download episodes of television programmes etc etc.

"he is not going to be signing a new contract at Blackburn," said Neill's agent Peter Harrison. How's that?

But he isn't that important, we should only be making a special effort for key players...I'm not sure we have anyone good enough to qualify for special treatment at the moment, possibly Nelsen having seen how we cope without him. Making Neill captain and letting him take penalties when he's clearly not capable will only serve to upset other senior players. Also...when it comes to other first teamers needing their contracts renewed they might wonder whether we value them highly or not if we don't repeat the behavior offered to Neill. I think the handling of this situation is Hughes' first big mistake. We should have snapped Liverpool's hand off for £2 million, bought ourselves a decent left back (or taken Warnock as part of the deal) and given Emerton an extended run at right back. We'd have ourselves an equally capable back line, except they'd all be happy to be at the club. And no-one would be getting special treatment.

Could someone please PM me the details of how to connect to the Rovers game? Pretty please?

Does anyone have any experiences (either first or second hand) of Sky Broadband? I've checked on their website and it appears it's available in my area, the £10 a month deal for unlimited 16meg connection seems a little too good to be true. Is it? Edit: Also, in addition to this, does anyone know what the cheapest line available through BT (or other company) is that can support broadband? Their website is very vague when it comes to phone lines now, everything seems to be about broadband packages...and I don't fully trust them to give me the cheapest over the phone.

That couldn't be further from the truth...Jeffers is one of the best examples you'll see of a traditional striker in the modern game. His entire game is about putting the ball in the back of the net...or being a 'fox in the box' as Wenger liked to call him. Being a link player and laying goals on for others never was and never will be part of his game.

He had numerous caps for the USA, was involved in the World Cup squad and had played in Europe for both Brondby and (more significantly) Galatasaray. Hardly inexperienced. If I remember rightly, Friedel was missing from the majority if Liverpool squads on match days because they already had 3 more important none-EU players in the sixteen...a ruling which has since been abolished.

Bring Beckham back? Lampard hasn't been great but he's been out-performing Beckham on the national stage for years now...although that's not saying much, almost every England player has out-performed Beckham recently. We need to give this new midfield system time, with Lampard included. There's definite potential in the Hargreaves/Lampard partnership plus a free-roaming Gerrard from the right, I can't believe people are wanting to ditch it after just three games. Lennon is an excellent prospect for the future and a great impact player from the bench but there still isn't enough to his game to warrant a starting place.