Yep, if memory serves I think Colin has the copyright on that one. Other interpretations welcome though.

And 'Asylum seeker' (copyright waggy)

Phil Dowd. Doesn't spring to mind as especially good or bad

Wondered what was happening down the Darwen End last night. At kick off, the Hudds fans were probably filling three quarters of the lower tier. Wasn't taking notes (it was quite entertaining footie you see) but when I noticed at kick off for the 2nd half, the lower tier was full and half the upper tier was pretty full. I sit in in the BBE side of the JW but me and everyone around was wondering what the hell was going on with the linesman in the other half. And Dickov's booking was a joke - fair enough if someone has time to notice what's going on before knocking it past the keeper but as far as I could see, he didn't. Just got played the ball, took a touch, then whacked it. A view on a few performances : Dickov did his usual running around but looked poor (maybe that was a reflection on having Bellamy alongside?), Bert was his usual hesitant self and just to go against the pro-Bentley bandwagon, I thought there were a few Bert-like traits to his play - there were a few times when a counter attack was crying out for a quick pass, but Bentley seems keen to take a couple of touches and slow things down. Hope it's down to management instruction. Gray looks a bit dodgy defensively, good getting forward though - nothing new there. And as we hoped, Bellamy's a bit nippy. (Flameproof suit on) I was hoping we'd start with Kuqi and Bellamy - even if the flying Finn isn't blessed with silky skils, I still think the more physical side to his game will give Bellamy more than playing with Dickov/Jansen/no-one. Looks like MH agrees with most on here though. Hey ho.

This could be popular - Kuqi vs Espanyol?

Would that be done via the ISA?

Stu, I understand what you're getting at, but I would be pretty sure there is a fixed amount built into the price of admission that goes to cover the price of 'issuing a ticket' (cost of ticket office wages, phones etc etc). I would say there are 2 ways how the club could charge for that - either (say) £2 per ticket or (say) £40k per game. If you've got a variable like attendance then the 'uplift' would vary game-by-game per ticket, so that's why I'd reckon the club would go for the fixed-charge-per-ticket option. Hence a charge of a few quid per ticket for the schools scheme. I'm sure there are other little extra costs that have to be covered - perhaps the parking for a minibus. Anyway, is anyone really arguing that a charge of £0 or £3 will be the critical deciding factor in whether a schoolkid attends or not? Marky, have you been paying attention this season? One player on your list is now at Charlton, one's out on loan till at least Jan, one has only played a couple of games as sub, and you seriously reckon Emerton's quick? And I seem to remember Reid scored one or two late last season and in pre-season.

How much we paid Kidd etc - bit different argument to attendances I feel. If Mum and Dad won't pay a fiver - two of which goes towards the school little Johnny is at - for half a day out for the nipper, maybe they need to re-assess where they spend their family budget. Another issue - it's pretty well known in marketing/advertising circles that people appreciate something more if they pay for it rather than it being free. I know it's not free, but Stella has been 'reassuringly expensive' for quite a while. Just seen your post stu, I'd doubt the club is making much if anything on the (net) £3 they charge.

Waggy, I understand what you're saying but five quid for a kid, then Rovers refund £2 of that to the school! How much do you pay in travel to take your lad to his junior games? What about his match fees? How much do parents spend on non-essentials for the kids - if it's less than a fiver a week (on average) I'd be amazed. Maybe you'd like Rovers to pay kids for attending? I don't think Rovers are a registered charity yet but it seems like some people reckon the Club should be. You're right that maybe the club could be a bit more 'proactive' (I hate that word) in promoting these sort of things though. There's only so many player visits possible and maybe other club staff could be encouraged to show their faces around some schools though.

You heard it here first. We're going to win! Maybe even a striker score, or is that pushing it a bit far?

Waggy, the idea sounds great, IN THEORY. Unfortunately, I'm willing to bet it would be a nightmare PRACTICALLY. Hope not, we need to fill some seats at whatever cost, but there are people better qualified on this sort of thing (Hannah?) who could comment better....... how many adults would be needed for a group of (say) 50 schoolkids, would they happily give up their time on a (say) Sat aft, do you bus the kids to Ewood and if so where do they park (if it's on the official car parks, it'll be at the expense of whoever usually uses those spaces).......... I hope it could be done but it won't happen for months if at all.

Hopeless optimist here. Got to agree with lots of Scotty and DMTP's summaries. Thought apart from the striking dept, we shaded the game (until late on anyway). The difference was Newc had Shearer and Owen - who didn't do a great deal apart from score. Wish we had forwards with that habit though. If - yes, I know, it didn't happen - we'd have got 3 points, folk would be saying that the likes of Nelsen had an excellent game. Oh and one stat you can guarantee won't be headlines in the media : Bad ole Rovers one yellow card, saintly Toon five yellows and a red. At least it looks like we'll have some competition in the bad boys league. EDIT - and just seen your thoughts paddyk. Fair enough. Agree on the Kuqi/Bellamy point, and cos we don't have decent enough midfielders, I don't know how to make it work unless we get an exemption to allow us to play with 12

That's pretty much how I remember the Nelsen story, Exiled. Did he have a week of 'trials' though or longer? Either way, bit of a contrast to how things were done with good old Ciccio. As to Axe, I can't say I follow world football, but hadn't (and doesn't he now) play exclusively at centre back for S Africa? Was it the same for Genk so a change to midfield for us was the first time he'd played there? Anyway, the point of all this (that's probably been made before) - it's good to see that MH is not willing to splash the cash (even if it's 'only' wages) on someone he hasn't had chance to run the rule over. Let's hope this is all true for Savage and the 3 mill turns out to be well spent

Time for Private Fraser............. SAR, if we score 4, I might have to join Bryan in Woolworth's window (some folk haven't forgotten that Bryan, though I can't remember what it was about!). On the other hand, maybe it was ironic . Will Bellamy be fit to start? I doubt it, might be better if he doesn't - remember West Ham - on the bench will do for me. Kuqi to start and 4-5-1 with Bentley looking to join Kuqi as much as poss. We're doomed you know, all doomed PS Couple of years ago I wasn't looking forward to Rovers v Newc - we won 5-2. Fingers crossed.

Fair enough, but there's always that nasty option, learning.

Eddie, as our man on the inside (Lee) said on this thread,

Odds at the time of writing : Aus 7/1 Draw 1/10 Eng 14/1 Yep it should be a draw, but there's going to be pretty much a full day's play today (Mon) so I really don't think Aus are totally out of this. If we don't bat until about tea, the cons have a decent chance. Got to be worth a fiver at 7/1. Neekoy, glad to see you've finally seen the light , those umpire's decisions have pretty much evened themselves out you know - Collingwood, Langer in the first innings of this one for example.

Thanks Waggy. Am I allowed a very un-PC chuckle? Enter Theno

Maybe this should go in that schaudenfreude thread............ Australia humbled by Essex. The lad who got a double hundred is 19 I think. McGrath not playing cos his elbow's still not up to it. There'll be dancing in the streets of Chelmsford tonight. Of SE11 next weekend?

If the Mags have the whole Darwen End (like last year, and for commercial reasons can't see why they won't) it'll be 7500 .

Wise words

Rosie, you want Festive 50s ? Here you go with a site I stumbled across a while ago.

Bloody hell, Lawrenson's changed his tune from last season

Too right USA, and there's every chance he'll be suspended for the odd game too. Some folk said this before he signed........

2 down, Fred strikes. Keep up the good work philipl, can you predict an Aus win just before lunch