It's based on a bit of a satirical post of mine on the transfer thread: https://www.brfcs.com/forums/topic/36690-that-was-the-january-window/?do=findComment&comment=2563308

😅👏. If I could 'like' this twice I would've.

Don't know where to start really! Ok firstly, thanks @glen9mullan for sharing the info that you have. We fucked up so embarassingly last year, that this is unforgiveable & all, & I mean ALL (apart from the poor admin girl,for the purposes of dramatisation we'll call her Amy) have to go now - go on! Off u fuck!! Last year it was a meal in Manchester, this year a curry, what next year? Domino's? A kebab? Tesco meal deal?! Sorry, but I'm not buying it. Everyone who has any 'info' on the inside is complicit & being bought! After last year's debacle, even a simple conversation would've done, unfortunately it probably went like this: Amy: ok, what u having Steve? SW : Chicken Korma (u know I'm right!!) Amy: Mike? MC - Lamb bhuna please Amy- Gregg? GB- Just one sec, Ian? U get confirmation back on the McGuire deal? IS - Chicken Jalfrezi please GB- Ian?! The McGuire deal? IS - Erm, keema rice & a plain naan GB- Ian!? The McGui...., Fuck it, special mixed bhiriani please Amy, but can I get that with a madras sauce instead of the veg curry.. SW- Ooh Greggy, madras! Not messing with u eh bad boy, eh eh? GB- Fuck off Steve! Soft cunt with your coconut casserole! Oh, Amy, a peshwari naan & well please love. SW - Amy? That over £40 yet? Not paying for delivery & we get free samosas if it is. IS - we do get poppadoms & chutney with that don't we? All - YES IAN! (Group laughter) 2 hrs later.... SW - well that was bloody lovely! A great job, well done all! Amy - Ian, there's a message flashing up on your PC - do you want to save changes? ALL - MCGUIRE!!!! (No fucking laughter) You have been watching........

Wow! Yeah that's the problem. The 'club' doesn't stop at the touchline you know?

Been at the pub quiz tonight ; aside from one team calling themselves "Gone Dahl Tomasson" (I did laugh,but yeah, fuck off!) I had a good chat with a couple of lads. One a Rover, the other a Nobber. TBF, the Nobber started off by taking the piss about send & save, but once I broke it down (2 years running, only xfers involving significant fees, secretary never fucked up in god knows how many years prior etc) he actually started to listen & went "fuck me mate, that's so fucked up, it's corrupt!" Fortunately, the Rover was one who listens, digs etc , & just isn't a duracell bunny clapping merrily at the green grassy bit every fortnight. We had a proper conversation. We both agreed that it doesn't matter who is the manager, who the leading goal scorer is, who plays the '10' role, it'll always be immaterial until the Wankies are gone. Anyone got a few shitty zinc chlorides for the bunnies?

😅. Yeah, I'd definitely need a non-return valve!

I would! As soon as I learn how to piss petrol!!

Thought that the chants on Sat were perfect. Maggot & Wankies getting it in equal measure. He's here, sat there & feels the heat. Illustrated by today's goings on, he's going through pampers at a fair old rate of knots! But also, we're not letting the Knuts in India think we've forgotten where the problems really lie.

Finally, sombody saw it! Just catching up & trawling through trying to make sure I don't say something which has been said before. A lot calling out the players, no! They are employees saying what they've been told to say. I've had to do it myself on occasion, but have always said I will not leave myself open to anything liable. That kind of question will always be skirted around, with "I'm not sure / I'll have to check" etc Sammie looks positively embarrassed, the rest are going through the motions. Waggot & Venkys are the enemy, never ever forget that!

👏 That proper made me laugh!

Think someone might need to proof-read that post - did someone from the club do it?

Why are we even bothering appealing? The EFL must be pissing themselves laughing - "oh, you again! Didn't learn then eh? Knobheads!"

Not sure who it was, but somebody definitely posted a throwaway comment on here prior to his 'signing' that they hoped they'd put McGuire & not Maguire on the paperwork - many a true word & all that! Edit: found it - looks like @Tugayisgod had a 6th sense!

Nearly chinned the bloke behind me in the BBE on sat - I joined in with the Venky's out chant & he said "we'd be in a hell of a mess without 'em!" This is a guy around my age, sat behind me for years who I thought would know better! Trying my best to be reasonable I just said " well it can't get much fucking worse! Do your homework!"

Only numbers left in the club shop! They actually had to re-heat Adam's shirts to remove the previous numbers - expect Dunc's shirt to be a snug fit!

No body else seem to think it's quite funny that everything now seems to be 'back on' with McGuire since shortly after that Orlando City guy posted a brief history of Venky's reign? Venky's being shamed across the US, that won't have gone down too well I imagine. I thought it was brilliant, but we need to make sure that, even if the transfer is completed, all that stuff just doesn't disappear.

Not unless we go our own way

Was thinking exactly the same myself! 😆

This is @Kamy, formerly of this parish, who doesn't spread shit. I hope to gid this is false otherwise I think i'm done!! fuck off u chicken murdering bastards!!

I'm 48, closing in rapidly on 49 & can still do a better job than Whalstedt!

FFS! Have u ever played football? The minute your defenders start losing confidence in the keeper, they start making mistakes. They start trying to 'protect ' him, leading to mis-timed tackles, going for headers that the keeper should collect, etc etc. Defence starts with the keeper, end of! (I used to be one, I know! If I lost form, the guys in front of me did daft things!)

Anyway, it's that time of night:

I'd take Sam Quek or Quentin Tarentino tbh! On Gally, don't we have a 12mth option btw?

Interestingly, I've just noticed that Bobby Mimms is actively looking for work on his LinkedIn. States "Open to new opportunities". Even at 60, surely he's still got a hell of a lot to offer our goalkeeping dept? Not that I expect anything like like that to even cross the minds of the cockwombles in charge at Ewood.