Sorry Jim.

Hello and welcome to preview. After a two week absense Rovers take on Middlesbrough (or Migglespru if your from Bolton) on Saturday 16th. Except the players on international duty that is. And the manager. Three league games and one cup game into his reign, King Sparky has had a mixed start. The honeymoon period is over, indeed the sex life is but a distant memory and he can`t even remember what colour her eyes are. (Tip - right it down on a piece of paper and store it in the battery compartment of the telly remote) A first game win against Portsmouth, a calamitous penalty defeat against Bournemouth, and well you know what else has happened. At the time of writing, the internationals had not yet been played so his mood may be sour; but this game against the Smoggies must be approached with optimism and positivity. Form men for Rovers include Barold F Ferguson, RoBrett Emerton and Paul Dickov, all likely to feature in the current round of internationals, so fingers crossed they all come back in a maximum of two pieces. For Middlesbrough they now have a team full of Big Fee Men. Recent signings read like a who`s who of the top threes cast off list. Ray Parlour Junior(Of Ghostbusters fame), Jimmy Floyd Piggybank, Mark Vidontcare, Gazza Minder(thought that was 5 bellies) and Bowlingalley Zenden to name but, err 5 of them. Throw in young prodigy Downing, and the top Aussie keeper you really have an outfit that demands respect. History is on Rovers side in this fixture. Hopefully he will have a great game, maybe even win us a penalty off Lady Luck, whos reffing the match. My memory of recent games at Ewood seems to be a lot of draws. Mostly nil-nils and last years belting two-two (Remember Markus Babbells brace) . The only home defeat was when Alen Boksic scored at the Darwen End off about seven deflections. This year is the first time in three that the game is being played outside a bank holiday. The most remembered game is the one that never was! The no-show in 97 by an injury and illness ravaged Boro outfit eventually leading to the relegation.(more later) So, I anticipate an even game, perhaps even a good game with both teams desperate for three points. Two points to consider. Will either of Rovers long running sequences end in this match?(penalty/0-0) Secondly, how many Rovers fans will turn up? Will the tide turn and wash a couple of thousand new/old Rovers fans to cheer on the team to new glorys and an new era of success under Super Sparkys Blue and White army? Time will tell. I pass you over now to Rob from FlyMeToTheMoon fanzine( www.fmttm.com ) to answer a few questions I made up during the advert break during last nights episode of SpongeBobSquarepants. How do you see Boros and Rovers status and role in English football? I suppose we are similar in many ways. Two provincial clubs that punch well above their weight. Rovers have a proud tradition and an incredible history. We can’t claim the trophy haul and Victorian records but we also have our own heritage and former big name players. We both rebuilt recently, not just stadia but as clubs and local entrepreneurs have put us both on the map. We both copped a lot of flack, totally unjustified for apparently buying success. Yet instead I think both our clubs our living proof that you can still aspire and indeed achieve outside of the big cities but only when everyone pulls together and a local benefactor certainly helps. How did you manage to get so much interest in the recent UEFA cup match against Banik? Rovers forays into Europe have been low key to say the least.(Bar Celtic) It’s a dream come true getting into Europe. It’s something none of us really thought we’d ever see. And now in the words of a Lancashire comic “we’re living the dream.” We were very disappointed not to sell out that 1st leg but I’m sure we’ll achieve that v Lazio and Partizan Belgrade. The vast vast majority of our support comes from Middlesbrough and Teesside area and believe me the whole place is buzzing at the moment. This is a golden time to be a Boro fan. With both clubs, the stadiums have, like most, undergone massive changes over the last 12 years. Which do you prefer? Comfortable covered toilets, beer and balti pies, etc? or crumbling atmospheric death traps, and £2.50 to get in? I used to like the brick maze toilet block at old Ewood away end. I used to take a ball of string to ensure I could find my way out. Also liked the potato meat and more potato pies that would glue your mouth together and sit so heavily on your stomach that it would totally take your mind off Simon Garner sticking one past Stephen Pears. The new stadia are fantastic in so many ways, wonderful views and at Ewood top tier there’s always the added bonus of a possible hospital visit from exposure. They look exciting architecturally and are so much more comfortable. Yet I do miss so many aspects of old style football. I’m sure night matches were better under proper floodlight pylons. Our old grounds were falling to bits in reality. But maybe I’ve got a vested interest if it wasn’t for the redevelopment I’d be out on the street, I live on the site of Ayresome Park. What I do miss is old style prices! Memories of previous matches between Rovers and Boro? Favourite match? My worst was the 5-1 defeat at Ayresome – the Noel Brotherston match. You always had to wingers – one the tricky Brotherston type fella and the other a greyhound. With Simon Garner a pocket Supermac thundering through the centre. Another low that I’ll always recall is the eventual re-arranged “3 points lost” game in 96/97. If only we had gone for you and not sat back for a 0-0 maybe we wouldn’t have been relegated. Oh and I haven’t forgiven you for ruining Christmas last year with that last second equaliser. Keep in your own box this year Brad Friedel. But they are all bad memories. Good ones. There was Alan Kernaghan’s unlikely hat trick v you at Ewood. Last season will be treasured for (still much missed) Juninho’s fantastic goal. We had 2 storming games against you in Middlesbrough. At the Riverside on Match of the Day Robbie Mustoe exploded into the challenges and the midget gems Barmby and Hignett weaved their magic up front as we defeated you, the Champions 2-0. Going back a few years to another BBC Match of the Day we defeated you at Ayresome Park in the first Premier season. You’d bought Stu Ripley but on that day he was put firmly in the shade by John Hendrie – “you’ve bought the wrong f***ing winger” we sang. Whos the current Boro crowd favourite? Juninho was before his exit. Now the position is probably up for grabs between Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink and Mark Viduka though homegrown winger Stewart Downing is a firm homegrown favourite. Stewart might play on the left but the comparisons with that other great winger Stuart Ripley, you remember him? We even sing the same song “we’ve got Stewy Downing/Ripley on the wing.” That is when Zenden’s not playing there. Whos the current Boro scapegoat? Looks like Doriva is this week’s favourite scapegoat. Why must there always be one? Former Brazilian international midfielder was players player of the year last year but now he has been widely pronounced not got enough for the Premiership or just plain cr*p. Any goal we give away was obviously the flat topped battlers fault. Even if he wasn’t on the field at the time. “Doriva you’re sh*te man.” Bryan Robson or Graeme Souness? Graeme Souness, born is the King of Ayresome Park. As we sang once long ago. Was voted in 1997 the Boro players greatest ever Boro player. An elegant midfielder who became a born again assassin after an over the top lunge from Dirty Yorath. He was the business and he looked like Yossa Hughes. Robson was one helluva player though wasn’t he. He transformed Middlesbrough from also rans to a so nearly team. Brought in international star quality that took the Premiership up a notch. Shall always be glad we got Robson and not Souness as manager. Soey was the hot favourite. Which Rovers player would you swap for which Boro player? Difficult one as you appear to be a team in transition. Brad Friedel is surely the best top flight keeper but Mark Schwarzer would be only just behind him. I’d swap Brett Emerton at his Feyenoord best for .. hang on no you’re not getting Mendieta or Zenden. I’m struggling as I think we have good players in the same places as your top players. Perhaps Barry Ferguson for Ray Parlour – though purely an age thing. Where will Boro and Rovers finish this season in the league? We’re really gunning for a high finish. It will be disappointing if we don’t get into the top 8. Seventh will equal our highest finish since the old king died. Rovers are really struggling, you don’t need me to tell you that. I wonder if you’ll eventually fid the fire power to blast up into midtable mediocrity. That would do for starters for Sparky. Who was balder, Brotherston or Armstrong? Brotherston was fantastically tonsured. Old school fuzzy zeller and bald pate. Spike Armstrong was bald as a very bald thing by the time he was 21. Credit where credit’s due for avoiding shampoo from such a tender age. How come you get McClaren and we got Kidd? More speed less haste. Question of timing and maybe doing as much homework as McClaren does about all coaching matters. Unlucky I think. Real Madrid were asking a similar question this summer. What did you make of the recent Souness V Cole, Yorke, Dunn sagas at Rovers? You can trace it all back to that over the top tackle from Terry Yorath. Soey enjoys a bit of rough house stuff. Very disruptive though and ultimately golden Graham had to go because he had “lost the dressing room.” Careless that. But you get some awful fogs coming down from the Pennines don’t you? Souness is old school and has little time for the modern playboy footballers. You should see pictures of him at Boro, adverts for gentleman’s tailors, flared trousers, lapels and big hair and luxuriant tache. Off to the Club Fiesta for a night of top entertainment with the Bachelors and Spinners. It’s a double bill. Freddy Starr is doing the warm up. Two or three pints of Cleveland Strongarm and then back to Alan Foggon’s place for a steak and kidney pie supper. The body is a temple and they knew how to look after it in those days.. kids of today, I don’t know… Stuart Ripley should have won more England caps:Discuss Without a doubt. Phenomenal winger. So so dangerous. How many of Shearer’s goals were from Ripley centres? So unlucky to make his England debut in that fateful game v San Marino. He really paid for that. And then just one more cap. Still he did “enjoy” the privilege of being the only player ever stretchered off from Wembley on a wheel barrow. If it wasn’t for the old hamstrings. Ripley’s Achilles heel. Or is that mixing metaphors with the meta-physical? Finally, how many will Boro win by on Saturday? Ewood has often been an unhappy hunting ground for us but we really need the win not a draw on Saturday. We’ve shown at Old Trafford that we can cause opponents problems even without our big three Hasselbaink, Viduka and Parlour – that should give everyone confidence. I’m going for a 2-1 win. That’ll do nicely with the required amount of nail biting at the end. Please no, not another last minute equaliser like last Christmas. Many, many thanks to Rob for his time, some great responses there. Theres a promise of more later I`m told. Me, I reckon it will be 0-0 and we will get, and miss a penalty. Two for the price of one. Thank you, and goodnight.

Not my fault-waiting for reply from Boro fan!

This Saturday sees Englands third attempt to lose to a smaller footballing nation in pursuit of another quarter final exit in a major championship. I know its not BRFC related as such, but with our manager being in charge of the visitors to OT, I thought I would run something up the flagpole, see if anyone salutes. That and the fact that my Boro preview is behind schedule and I felt I ought to put something out. On the face of it England should be mega favourites to win. Rooney back and scoring, Campbell and Rio back in place of the awful Terry and King and Michael Owen being injured all add upto a walloping for Taffs. But England being England, and Wales being Wales, you can be sure it wont go to plan. In Hartson, Giggs, Bellamy and errr, Lee Trundle they have got Champions league level players and under the guidance of Mark `The Leek` Hughes I fancy the home side (England) will have a proper scrap on their hands. It takes me back to the Good Old Days of the Home Internationals when thousands of British football fans would take each other on at dart throwing, goalpost smashing and general hand to hand combat set against a backdrop of 90 minutes pointless football. For England, there is no real Rovers interest, aside from the boss who nearly left Rome for Rossendale but changed his mind after some one told him the ski slope wasn`t real. The last Rovers player to play for England was David `£5.5M? You`ve Been` Dunn, as a sub in some useless friendly or other. After that your talking Sutton, Ripley, Le Saux etc. And Shearer. Flowers as well. Oh yeh and Batty. And Sherwood .Anyway nobody from recent times. Mike England played for Wales. The Welsh team has obviously got the same boss as us, that`s a big interest. How will he be able to stop thinking about his problems at Rovers for long enough to work out his plans for the English? Does he need any help? Will Jansen get a game for the Welsh? At right back? Recent Rovers interest in the Welsh side include Nathan Blake, erm Chris `Coalman Hair`Coleman, and the other one. Always an honourable and proud man, no doubt Hughes will be going all out for victory, with the game being played at his old stomping ground(literally). I wonder if Wales win the two games he has left, wether the WFA will perform volte face and ask him to carry on in both jobs? Personally speaking, I would like to see a narrow England win, with Hughes showing some brilliant tactical awareness and first rate man-management skills along the way. And no shenanagins on the building site that Old Trafford is i.e. crowd trouble. I fear there is a real chance there may be. So national pride overcomes personal pride and the desire for reflected glory that the Welsh win would bring. 2-1 Rovers. I mean England. Boro preview along shortly..

Like Pompey two weeks ago, we came out better in the second half. Emerton has finally signed for Rovers, Dickov was ace, defending at set pieces was laughable. No fans either, I even managed to get a pint at half time!

Derek Fazackerly.

One-one win for Rovers. Hope Gally can a get a game, Think he`s the future.

Anyone watching in the Chorley area, I`m meeting up with myself in Sams Bar for the game...

Do they accept Paypal?

First half was absolutely Phil Babb, but I enjoyed the second half. Jay Bothroyd I thought was ace, he looks classier than the rest of them. Freidels push on Fuller by the way was a stonewall penalty, the fact it was not given was worth more than getting one given to us. A change of luck at last for Rovers.

Just been thinking about Yakubu, Fuller and Berger against Amo, Short and Matteo, and I seem to have had a nose bleed. What`s happened to Todorov, is he still injured? or alive?

I was at the 1985 game, one of the ugliest atmospheres I have ever come across watching Rovers. Tension, fear, the malevolent feeling of violence in every challenge on the pitch and ever song sung off it, and yes Jimmy Hill lost the plot completely on MOTD. The game after on the bank holiday at Bramall Lane was better, The Mighty Quinn scoring a second half hat-trick to take it the final game against Wolves. Great times. I also went to the away game at Pompey earlier in the season, a seven hour journey, only to be ejected from the ground after 15 minutes for swearing at the Portsmouth player(Channon?)

I`ve got my 33 year old son to keep me calm when I go home...My glass of red wine will taste even better tonight...I going to have bath in pound coins later on with Mr and Mrs Lady Luck...And then give them a punch on the nose, but it`s how they react to that...

I posed the following conumdrum in a now locked thread earlier, (sorry I`m only 6 years old-I don`t understand things) What`s in the Souness exit interview, not that I have seen it of course, or that one actually exists, but I would be extremely interested to see the contents of it. His views on the fans, the facilities, the running of the club, the chairman and board, the plans for the future of the club, on the players he has left behind, and so on. What do you think he would put in it?

RIKKO He will have Given in the hole, and Kluivert in goal. And the canteen serving toad in the hole. And little Craigy Bellamy, and big bad Shoal La Ameobi selling Dover Sole.

I saw Gary Megson shopping in Selfridges in Manchester last week. He was looking at the Duffer clothing range. Could this be a clue?? Ginger miser/ Paddy Winger double coup for Rovers??

Did you know that Jay Bothroyd translates from Italian to English as `James Bond`? Not a lot of people know that. Oh, thats Marti Caine isn`t it. Sorry. Is he any relation to Betty?

Hope Jay (if that is his real name) brings back some nice Italian cheese with him, (il formaggio), Peccorino or Parmagiana . He will be a god in my eyes if he does.

Well GS has certainly split up the Cole/Yorke axis comprehensively. Cole south of the Thames. Yorke South of the Clyde. Yorke deserves worse than this after Saturdays joke of an effort. The useless twonk.

You`ve seen light Bob, praise be. The futures bright. The futures is Edam shaped. I Camembert leave it.

Would be better with 11 keepers on Wednesday. Please Cheese let us win.

Wonder if the `Mancunian` visitors will be as pleasant as last April, when they started a little renovation round town. Please god let us win. A know there is no god, but it sounds daft saying`please Alan` or `please cheese` let us win. Ozz is back in his lucky BBE seat for this one, as my DE seat will be in use with a Manc stood on it for 90 minutes, without any fear of admonishment from a steward or bobby. Actually, I like the sound of `please Cheese let us win`. Yes, yes I do. I want everyone to say it in their previews and posts. Except the religous members, they can use God. Or whichever religous figurehead they choose to follow. Unless their religon is some kind of homage to a great Cheese god figure , in which case either will do.

Forget footballers, we need Auf Weidersehn Pet to build a brick wall across the goalline to have a chance of a draw. Seriously though, we do. A brick wall on the goal line is our only hope. Anyone know a brickie? Otherwise £33 plus expenses will be good goals per pound value. About a quid a goal I expect. Hey ho.

From someone else who works in the hole in the ground that is Preston, take care this afternoon. The locals are revolting!

Yes, I have. However, I personally believe Andy Cole wouldn`t sulk and deliberately seek to get his revenge on Souness by playing badly. Is all.