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[Archived] Blackburn Rovers v Stoke City Preview


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With Rovers (and indeed all of us whether we like it or not) entering into a new year, what better time for our season to begin than with the visit of Stoke City and Game 20. With a top half finish still very much on the cards we can go into the new year full of positive positivity.

At the time of submitting this preview Steve Kean and Rovers are on a high having battled away to a massive point away at Liverpool. Manchester United may well be a different prospect and I’ll stick my neck out and predict that we’ll lose, after all we’re missing ten players. We can all take solace from the fact that Sir Alex has been in touch with Kean to tell him he's doing a good job.

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Ferguson: Very concerned

However with Kean in charge surely our luck is just about to change. Results for the previous 12 months haven’t been the best for some reason or other but you know, its best not to dwell on it, they’re obviously not important in the grand scheme of things.

Whatever that grand scheme actually is, well that’s anyone’s guess. However it would appear to my uneducated eyes that it doesn’t actually include Champions League football after all. What a shocker.

The players will have done more work in training, possibly on defending, possibly on just eating pies and cakes, the videos will have been watched over and over and lessons will have been learnt, Kean will have taken some more phone calls from other premier league managers telling him what a great job he’s doing.

Rovers fans for their part will be a tad confused of course, on one hand here’s a team that has won 4 times in 32 league games. Or once in 13 league games. Take your pick. On the face of it, to the mere fan, the uneducated man in the street, that’s an absolutely terrible record.

But no, slow down, hold your horses a second.

Let’s try and forget those statistics, you, me, everyone, 99% of the fans, we’ve all got it wrong. Kean is a human being after all, apparently. The fact he lies to the fans and to journalists is also by the by. No, what we need to consider are the words of Ferguson, Kedknapp, Moyes, that bloke from Norwich, some more people from Glasgow, the Bishop of Blackburn, Alan bleeding Pardew, “Jim” off Sky (Blackburn fans are “idiots”) - all of whom are telling us that we’ve got it all wrong.

Well what a turn up eh? How daft are we?

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Redknapp: “Keano is an absolute diamond, a proper stand up geezer! I’ll have him round our Joanna for a sing song any day of the week.

Can I have my 3 points now please?”

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Moyes: had seen and heard enough at the Bolton game and left at half time. You can hardly blame him. It’s happened a lot this season. If the owners can’t bear to watch an entire game at Wigan then you can’t really be too critical of the Everton manager for not sticking around.

Admittedly, as mentioned above, Kean’s team has been struggling with injuries over the last 3 or 4 games 12 months. With Salgado having been given a few days off for no known apparent reason, events really have conspired against the neck scratching, lip licking, loon. If only Kean hadn’t given one of our senior players time off. Still what can you do, I’m no manager.

Of course, in all fairness, any team that loses first choice players such as Dann, Givet, Nelsen, Olsson and Robinson (Robinson cruelly ruled out after he waved at some fans) is going to struggle. A shame then that Myles “Chris Smalling” Anderson and Bruno “Dennis Irwin” Ribeiro, signed by Kean, don’t get a chance. I mean that’s what I’d be looking to do if I signed two defenders, play them. Especially when there’s a defensive injury crisis. Otherwise why sign them in the first place? Then again, that’s just me. I know. Daft aren’t I?

Anyway, back to why I'm here. The Stoke game. Stoke are similar to Rovers in that they like to get the ball down and play some good stuff. No doubt Tony Pulis will be able to “see what we are trying to do here” as Kean puts it. In all fairness it does take time to change a team's playing style. Asking Robinson to kick from the half way line and stick it on Sambas head and then hopefully someone will get the bits is as far removed from the days of Allardyce as we can possibly get.

Kean should be applauded for turning us into “the entertainers” and I’m sure he will continue to be by the opposition fans.

Stoke City likely line up, possibly: Begovic, Wilkinson, Shawcross, Huth, Wilson, Pennant, Whelan, Delap, Etherington, Walters, Jones

Dangermen: Begovic, Wilkinson, Shawcross, Huth, Wilson, Pennant, Whelan, Delap, Etherington, Walters, Jones

Manager: Tony Pulis. Pulis has established Stoke in the Premier League and has done a great job very quietly. Formed in 1863 they are the oldest Premier League club.

Predictions? We may lose, but the law of averages surely suggest we’re due for another win. Either way Kean will speak to the owners, who again won’t be able to attend, after all it’s quite a long journey for them and the football is crap after all. He’ll retain their “100% backing” and we’ll be asked to judge him at the end of the clubs existence (rather than the end of the Summer 2011 transfer window as previously requested).

So we look forward to the first game of the new year, a game we really do need to win if we want to stop in the self proclaimed best league in the world. Here's hoping.

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It takes a lot to make me laugh at the moment, particularly when talking about Rovers, but this did it. Brilliant. I particularly enjoyed the way you highlighted Stoke's dangermen.

As for the game - who cares. It's all just a prelude to the imminent destruction of the club it seems.

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Come Monday, we should be able to add a couple more names to the injured list. Unfortunate or careless?

I can't see anything but a Stoke win, at least 0 - 3.

Still,the chemists in the town will be doing a roaring trade in anti-depressants so at least someone is benefiting from it all.

Have never liked New Year anyway. Lot of capering about and then it all goes pear-shaped.

Good preview, Bob.

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Brilliant, brilliant preview Bob. Laughed so much I think you've brought my viral infection back :lol: bravo. Kean will probably read out parts of it in his next press conference to show 99% of the fans "understand what we're trying to do", though.

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Anyway, back to why I'm here. The Stoke game. Stoke are similar to Rovers in that they like to get the ball down and play some good stuff. No doubt Tony Pulis will be able to “see what we are trying to do here” as Kean puts it. In all fairness it does take time to change a team's playing style. Asking Robinson to kick from the half way line and stick it on Sambas head and then hopefully someone will get the bits is as far removed from the days of Allardyce as we can possibly get.

Kean should be applauded for turning us into “the entertainers” and I’m sure he will continue to be by the opposition fans.

Nail, head.

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Come Monday, we should be able to add a couple more names to the injured list. Unfortunate or careless?

I can't see anything but a Stoke win, at least 0 - 3.

Still,the chemists in the town will be doing a roaring trade in anti-depressants so at least someone is benefiting from it all.

Have never liked New Year anyway. Lot of capering about and then it all goes pear-shaped.

Good preview, Bob.

Mum how bad did your pals say it needs to get before action is taken?

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My prediction is that Kean will spend the entire game stood in his technical area wearing his new rovers coat to show he is Mr Blackburn Rovers. He will not be stood there to coach or encourage the team, make tactical changes to reflect the way the game is developing, or to make impact substitutions. He will be stood there to: -

*Wind up the fans to show no matter what they say or do he is unsackable

*To provide ideal photo opportunities for the media to show his 'dignity' in the face of hostile, threatening abuse from a minority of fans. I wouldn't be surprised if a bodyguard is visible to show that there is a real threat to his safety

After the game the media will say how brave and dignified he was, how the fans were a disgrace etc.etc. etc. Kean will say how desparate the injury situation is but that he is looking forward to a healthy transfer budget as the owners have approved his target list and players are excited at the thought of joining him. He will also say how pleased he has been with the support of his fellow union members and SEM clients.

Oh I nearly forgot about the game, it seems so unimportant. Well we will lose 2 0 and Kean will say that until Stokes second goal we were the better team and he could see only one team winning the game

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