bob fleming Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Aside from the "burnley Relgation Watch" thread, the "Dingle Derby" thread and the "Tales & Memories of Derby Day" there's hardly been a mention of our forthcoming encounter with the enemy. So, with this in mind, somewhat early you could argue, here's a preview... burnley. B*stards, twits and runts. A small town in Yorkshire, That place on the other side of Accrington, Tutters, Inbreds. Six Fingered Knuckle Draggers, Scum, Them, That lot, Those who we do not speak of, The Clampets, The Clarrots, Hill Trolls, Face Combers, The Dark Place……. ……The Dingles. However, let’s not let this preview fall victim to cliché and colloquialism shall we? Not just yet. Let’s move on before we get dragged in, marry a cousin and open a pig farm. “I'll tell you now and I'll tell you firmly, I don't never want to go to burnley, What they do there don't concern me, Why would anybody make the journey?” Good point well made. I don't think many do from our neck of the woods if they can help it. I think I’ve been twice since we played them in 2000. Once too many if you ask me. However a week tomorrow 2,400 intrepid Rovers fans will be there. They don’t like us and we don’t like them. I get the feeling that they dislike us more, that’s what comes of 30 years of Blackburn Rovers dominance, when your neighbours are the greatest and most successful team in Lancashire I suppose it’s inevitable. The fact that they were higher than us in the league for a short spell this season is just a freak of nature (good grief, even Hayley’s Comet comes round every so often) and had more to do with our tricky October fixture list than anything else. Obviously. But where does all this unseemly unpleasantness stem from though? Why do we use (or some of us use) the names above? Why the hatred? It wasn’t always like this as some of the older viewers on this messageboard will tell you. Back in the day fans would follow Rovers one week and then them the next. The very thought of it eh? April 1983. Rovers 2 burnley 1. The match was marred by burnley fans trying to take the Darwen End to pieces and home with them (which if the away end we’ll be housed in is in the same state as it was when I visited last time wouldn’t be such a bad idea) then chucking great clumps of asbestos onto the pitch and at their own fans. The game was nearly called off. Not big and not clever. Then there was the famous flyover incident; May 1991. When a group of nameless Rovers fans (you know who you are) clubbed together and chartered a plane to fly over t’Turf just as they were making a mess of the play offs against the mighty Torquay United. 2-0 down after the first leg there was no way they were gong to pull that back. “Staying Down Forever – Luv Rovers HA HA HA” The stuff of legend which I doubt will ever be bettered (Shirts on statues? Leave it out. Then again graffiti on club shops ain’t much cop either – maybe it’s my age). Just two instances over the last few years, there are many, many more, as to why there is so much ill feeling between the two sets of fans. Anyway, this has all been covered and done to death before. Let’s take a look at the last few results and incidents leading up to the game. 08.02.10 – burnley FC announce ambitious plans to convert their Cricket Field Stand into a giant ghetto blaster. One local resident who wanted to remain anonymous due to his embarrassment of being a local resident described the idea as “Bloody stupid. How many batteries will that thing need? Will it play my old C90’s?” 21.02.10 - Rovers 3 Bolton Wanderererers 0 – 12th 21.02.10 – Aston Villa 5 burnley 2 - 19th 26.02.10. burnley's slightly more intelligent centre half than the other one, Clarke Carlisle, makes his third and final appearance of the week on Channel 4 Quiz Countdown but crashes out in the final round when to everyone’s absolute astonishment he doesn’t spot the Conundrum: G I O N G D W O N (Look I know that gag was (or a variant) was on the 4000 Holes Website but I thought of it as well and it’s staying in!! Yeah, like you believe me. This is why they're trying to rush a bill through Parliament no doubt - see Glenn's post in ICBINF.) 26.02.10. Portsmouth seven points adrift at the bottom of the Premier League, four different owners in the season and scandalously miss-managed, become the first Premier League Club to go into Administration. A further 9 point penalty will be imposed on 17 March. Their spirit is crushed, they are doomed and without hope. 27.02.10 burnley 1 Portsmouth 2 28.02.10 Liverpool 2 Rovers 1 - We were robbed. Andrews with a sublime piece of skill from the penalty spot, chipping under the keeper. 12th. 06.03.10 - Arsenal 3 burnley 1. At the Emirates in front of 15,000 traveling away fans. 19th. 10.03.10 - burnley 1 Stoke City 1. Tony Pullis considers his managerial future after this terrible result but is talked into carrying on. 18th. 13.03.10 - Spurs 3 Rovers 1. Rovers had a blatant penalty turned down and Kalinic had a goal ruled out because he was pushed in the back. 12th. 13.03.10 - burnley 1 Wolverhampton Wanderererers 2. Highlights, other than the result, include a fine own goal by Clarke Carlisle and a bizarre head butt on Kevin Doyle by an escaped giant pig. 18th. 14.03.10 - Alan Nicko Nixon reveals that burnley fans plan to paint David Dunn's house purple and blue sometime before the big game. Sunday People. Thwarted by the Serious Crime Squad, The Sweeney, the FBI and Interpol, this is now unlikely to happen. When Chief Inspector Parrot Nose of the Yard was asked how these crazy pranksters intended to get Dunny's modest house (pictured below) painted before being rumbled he replied: "Finger Painting. Our experts estimate that a team of 4 would have got the job done in under 5 minutes, front and back." Dunny's House - A Bit Earlier Today - before it started raining. 17.03.10 - Current burnley victim / Manager Brian Laws starts getting his belongings together after being given the vote of confidence. A bit harsh. He's hardly John Bond. He just needs time. 20.03.10 - Wigan Athletic 1 burnley 0. A 90th minute winner. Oh dear. Oh dear me. 18th. 21.03.10 - Rovers entertain Chelsea. Anything here will be a bonus. 24.03.10. Rovers entertain Brum - we should be looking to win this one. Which leads us quite nicely as far as I'm concerned up to next Sunday's game... All things considered it’ll be a very tight match and we’ll have to be abject average to win. At times like this it us up to the superior force, the Good versus the Evil, to hold their nerve, rise up and prove that famous old adage correct again. One of the wisest things, if not the very wisest, that anyone has ever said in the history of man kind: “You can’t polish a turd”. You would be forgiven for thinking that whoever said that was actually thinking of burnley F.C. They’ll bottle it and we will win, we always do (well if you're 31 or under we do – is that a generation? Maybe more? How long is a generation anyway? The Who had their own interpretation but what do they know? Besides they just sang about it without actually getting to the nitty gritty and saying how long a generation actually is. No use to anyone that Daltrey). Our lads will steam role them with a mixture of good old Arte and Labore. Quite possibly more Hard Labore than Arte if we’re honest but if any team thinks they’re going to win this by being all Arte Farte then think again. And what will be left for our dear neighbours? A full on riot in assorted town centre pet shops probably. Followed by the inevitable relegation that was predicted by most as soon as Sheffield United failed to turn up for last year’s Play Off final. The normal order of the world will soon be resumed as burnley drift off into obscurity, left with only memories of their short time in the top flight (Owen “God” Coyle leaving for a ‘bigger club’, Steve “Mr burnley” Davis ditto, losing at Bolton, losing at Ewood, shipping 4 at Liverpool, 5 at Tottenham, West Ham and Villa – losing 10 games out of 13 since the turn of the year, quite possibly breaking the record for having the lowest points total away from home in the history of the Premier League... it's been quite an adventure all in all) Barring something very unpleasant and unexpected, with the wind in the right direction, without wanting to count my chickens, touch wood, all being well, we should be safe (was that enough caveats?). Next season will / should be our 10th consecutive season in the top flight and seventeen seasons for us in the top division out of the last nineteen. That really is some achievement. Three points over there will practically guarantee it. We are the most successful Town Club in England, let alone Lancashire. They were just saying hello. Prediction? We'll sneak it 1-0. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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